life: shambles
Today I took apart the home that I built with the first boy I have ever really been in love with: tore it in half, to be specific. I get to have everything that makes me feel like I am in my own space in a shabby concrete room for months all over again and sleep either at my mother's overcrowded apartment or on kind friends' couches and floors every once in awhile, but I am not allowed to have him with me for a number of reasons that, while they come from understandable points of view, are based on what I am more than mostly certain are incorrect assumptions. My computer is still gone and any potential warranty coverage that I would have on it runs out tomorrow. I have seven dollars left and three days off in a row, which I suppose will be spent a) sleeping b) banging my head against walls or c) sucking dry every single opportunity for free food/drink/entertainment. Because this recent shitstorm has, of course, not been limited to only my life, Steve and I have decided (been forced to decide) to take "space" in order to not kill each other, which I guess sounds like it would help but at the moment hasn't helped anything but me being an even bigger mess. The heat is stifling, business is slow, tips are low, I won't be fully recovered from the effects that the mold bloom had on me for four more days (according to my mother, who would know), I am about to turn what is arguably the most useless age ever, I can't ask for help because so many other people are being shit on too, my least favorite holiday of all time is coming up, there is a shitty picture of me on some "Austin Style" website, I think I might just dig a hole to crawl into and die if things don't start looking up ASAP.