Technology > (Relationships|Food|Hygeine)
Originally published at Jessica DeCola. You can comment here or there.
So I got a Wii recently. Along with Wii Sports, which comes with the console, I picked up WarioWare: Smooth Moves. This was at the recommendation of the bf. I will say that it took some degree of urging as the bright pink packaging was somewhat off-putting. It was as though I could not accept that the game was what it stated itself to be. Rather, I became convinced I was being duped, and instead of Wario greeting me at the load screen, Barbie would show up and task me with transporting her pet unicorn to her magic Malibu beach house.
I won’t say specifically what she wants the equine for, but Ken’s shortcomings are fairly well known and indeed documented.
The game is absurd in all the best ways. Playing the game requires you to perform various actions based on different poses you do with the form baton (wii-mote) and later the balanace stone (nunchuck). The tasks are performed at an ever increasing pace with rewards for success and admonishments for failure flashing near subliminally on the screen. Between the bright flashing colours and “wtf am I looking at” content, the game is as close an approximation as I can imagine to being trapped inside a seizure.
For instance, one goal has you attempting to shake all the ants off of a banana. If you succeed, you are rewarded with a happy, well-fed gorilla. However, if your juggling bear drops his fish, he gets spiders of shame and regret thrown in his face.
Below, find what is probably my favourite image from the game:
It just makes me want to walk up to strangers and scream “SQUAT!” at them. It was basically that image on the back of the box that made me decide on this title as my first Wii purchase.
John also snagged Twilight Princess from his brother, and I’ve been playing a lot of that. John plays a lot of “Weather” and “News” in addition to compulsively checking the Mii parade to see if anyone has sent us additional avatars. This leads to inevitable cursing when the same three Miis make their way slowly and shamefully across the screen. Why we haven’t yet invited them into the Mii plaza to join our native creations, I cannot say. I’m sure he has his reasons . . .
Oh, I also picked up Gran Turismo 4 for the PS2. More because it was cheap than anything else. I’m not normally a fan of racing games at all, but I will say that this game is intensely pretty. The degree of work that went into this game is by no stretch of the imagination modest. The bf expounded at length about the physics of the game, the time it took to photograph each course and record the sound individual cars made while running. The attention to detail permeates all aspects of the game. At one point members of the pit crew are walking by and you can see the flexing of the buttock muscle beneath the pit suit. I’m thinking at this point that I never gave the PS2 enough credit.
Guitar Hero 3 comes out at the end of October. This preview makes me weep with alternating joy and hateful inadequacy:
Click to view
In my perfect fantasy land of cuddly rainbows, I’d also have my computer upgraded by October for the release of The Witcher. Sadly, I may not be able to make that deadline regardless of how much I enjoy eating Ramen and Valu-Time macaroni and cheese for every meal.
It’s really good that I don’t have kids.