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A Morning at Jury Duty:
By Laia Garcia
I woke up today, feeling groggier and lamer than ever, took a shower and got ready for my Jury Duty. While walking there I thought I was going to pass out, but thankfully I made it there ok. When I reached the building, I checked in my cellphone, and proceded to room 101 of the Criminal Justice Department of the Great City of Philadelphia in the Great United States of America and God. or something like that. Anyways, they gave me a questionaire to answer and then we just sat there for maybe 2 hours. A judge came in while we waited and told us that Jury Duty is not only a duty, but a privilege, the same way that serving in the ARMY is. And some other bullshit. I was really holding out for him to say, "If you dont serve your jury duty then the terrorists have already won" but it didnt happen. After my name wasnt called in the first 3 groups of prospective jurors I was starting to get comfy in my surprisingly comfy chair (THEY RECLINE! THEY'RE CUSHONY!) and then my name was called. I was Juror #3 for a case in the civil court or whatever. They made us form 2 lines side by side, and then we all walked together to City Hall, like a group of middle school students on a really horrible classtrip to like the "Homework Factory" or something like that. When we got to court the lawyers and attorneys were there, and so was a woman who I figured was the defendant. I thought it was going to be some kind of marriage trial but Boy was I wrong!!. We were in a legal malpractice suit. it went a little like this:
its 1995
girl gets hit in the knee by a wheelchair (?????wtf??)
girl sues
girl loses case.
its 2005.
girl sues lawyer for losing case
so this lady was obviously some money scavenging ho' from the depths of scavengeland, and I think I made my opinion about her very obvious because when they revealed the details of the case to us I made very, um Laia faces that said WHATTHEFUCKINGFUCK? or QUEEEEE?
so i didnt get picked.
phew.
then I went to lunch and back in the waiting room. they called us to another civil case and once again off to city hall we went. this one was a medical malpractice suit, not as much as a quackery like the other one, but I was suspicious. Apparently, this dude sued his doctor because he didnt discover some shit he had on his back on time, and now he cant walk without a cane or something. he and his wife were wearing matching shirts. when we entered the room he was all wobbling around, trying to put on some kind of show.
anyways, once again, my looking like a 12 yr old boy saved me from making real grownup decisions.
i was dismissed and proceeded to pick up my sweet 9 dollar check.
The End
By Laia Garcia
I woke up today, feeling groggier and lamer than ever, took a shower and got ready for my Jury Duty. While walking there I thought I was going to pass out, but thankfully I made it there ok. When I reached the building, I checked in my cellphone, and proceded to room 101 of the Criminal Justice Department of the Great City of Philadelphia in the Great United States of America and God. or something like that. Anyways, they gave me a questionaire to answer and then we just sat there for maybe 2 hours. A judge came in while we waited and told us that Jury Duty is not only a duty, but a privilege, the same way that serving in the ARMY is. And some other bullshit. I was really holding out for him to say, "If you dont serve your jury duty then the terrorists have already won" but it didnt happen. After my name wasnt called in the first 3 groups of prospective jurors I was starting to get comfy in my surprisingly comfy chair (THEY RECLINE! THEY'RE CUSHONY!) and then my name was called. I was Juror #3 for a case in the civil court or whatever. They made us form 2 lines side by side, and then we all walked together to City Hall, like a group of middle school students on a really horrible classtrip to like the "Homework Factory" or something like that. When we got to court the lawyers and attorneys were there, and so was a woman who I figured was the defendant. I thought it was going to be some kind of marriage trial but Boy was I wrong!!. We were in a legal malpractice suit. it went a little like this:
its 1995
girl gets hit in the knee by a wheelchair (?????wtf??)
girl sues
girl loses case.
its 2005.
girl sues lawyer for losing case
so this lady was obviously some money scavenging ho' from the depths of scavengeland, and I think I made my opinion about her very obvious because when they revealed the details of the case to us I made very, um Laia faces that said WHATTHEFUCKINGFUCK? or QUEEEEE?
so i didnt get picked.
phew.
then I went to lunch and back in the waiting room. they called us to another civil case and once again off to city hall we went. this one was a medical malpractice suit, not as much as a quackery like the other one, but I was suspicious. Apparently, this dude sued his doctor because he didnt discover some shit he had on his back on time, and now he cant walk without a cane or something. he and his wife were wearing matching shirts. when we entered the room he was all wobbling around, trying to put on some kind of show.
anyways, once again, my looking like a 12 yr old boy saved me from making real grownup decisions.
i was dismissed and proceeded to pick up my sweet 9 dollar check.
The End