Let the Heartache Ride (WNBA RPS)
Title: Let the Heartache Ride
Author: CG
Rating: PG, maybe?
A/N: I've been trying to write this pairing in a couple of ways, just so it'll stop torturing my personal OTP. Maybe this'll help? 50 minutes.
Disclaimer: Dude. Didn't happen. The people are real, and I don't know them or their sexualities. I make no money off this. If I did, would I have to find a summer job?
Summary: Sometimes you have to start over.
"You take it personal?" she asks me, and she ought to know by now that I don't answer those questions. Never said it, never thought I had to say it, but I'd have to guess she didn't get the message.
"Told you, Crystal, quit nosin' 'round where you shouldn't," I tell her, pushin' back my headband. It's a new thing, somethin' I'm tryin' out. Figure if anyone's entitled to change her hair, it's me, seein' as I've done the same dang thing since my second season, and no one's 'round anymore who remembers me with the short hair.
"Just askin'," she says. "I just get to wond'rin', y'know? I know I'd take it real personal if Becky walked out on this team, and she didn't even build it the way-"
"Let it lie, would you? We got a game tonight, and I do not intend to start this season with a loss. I want to leave as much of last year behind as I can, if it's all the same to you." I turn away from her, reachin' for a ball from the rack and leanin' back to take a jumpshot, lazy like summer sunshine. Takes me a while to find my groove right near the beginnin' of the season, 'specially as I came to camp late- we'd had some loose ends to tie up with Rovereto, me and Crystal, so we came in together.
Crystal doesn't know when to leave somethin' 'lone. "I know you miss her, VJ, can see it in your eyes."
The ball bounces against the Conseco floor, echoin' from the roof. It's just the two of us here, shakin' off the cobwebs and workin' off the rust. At least that's what I'm tryin' to do, but seems that Crystal won't be. "Grab a damn ball, would you? We can take 'em on the perimeter, but we got to have our shots goin' you and me both, and that's not even 'cludin' Becky and Erin and K.B. We got to work on this now so we can do some defensive drills later, 'cause I don't want to have Catchings embarrass us again."
"Can't shoot 'round with all this on my mind," she says, but she takes a ball anyway and starts dribblin' it back and forth, crossin' it over in front of her, ball tracin' a path that I can almost see in the air. "You're not right, Vickie, and you know it, and I know it, and Lord knows Becky and Tari been catchin' on to it too. Bet you a dollar that even K.B. gets it."
Even if I knew how I felt, I wouldn't go spillin' it. Not even to Crystal. I wouldn't even spill it to Teresa, even if it wasn't 'bout not bein' able to spill it to Teresa. "I've known her since I was fourteen years old. That's half my life and then some. Shakes things up when I know where she is and I can't do a thing 'bout it. That's all it is." I'd never tell her that Teresa had come close to becomin' my blood, the older sister I never had- 'cept of course that no girl in her right mind would do with her sister what Teresa and I did. I love her. But I can't say that- she's not one of us anymore, and though I know Crystal knows what I might mean, I still can't say it. I know that poison runs deep in the locker room, even without- well. What goes on in the locker room stays in the locker room, can't go tellin' it to whoever. Crystal thinks things aren't right with me, and she's right, but I'm not the only one. It's all comin' 'part at the seams, and no one knows who's s'posed to be doin' the mendin'. I try, but... there's only so much I can do, and it hurts that I can't fix it all at once.
Crystal lets the ball roll out of bounds- it slides under a chair down by the Feer bench- and puts an arm over my shoulders. "You lie real well. Comes of only havin' brothers, right?"
That's one of the things everyone loves 'bout Crystal. She never knows what not to say. Kym used to be the same way, gave everyone a good laugh. But when Crystal blurts somethin' out, it's not always funny. She just slips somethin' into the conversation and gets under your guard and you realize that she's gotten right to the heart of the problem. "Crystal, I don't know how many times I got to say this. Let it ride."
"Not happenin'. You think I'm gonna let you keep hurtin' this way? What kind of friend would I be? I know you don't like talkin', but it's just the two of us, and I won't tell no one, you know that."
"Yeah, I know that."
"Oh, come on, Louisiana gal, let an Oklahoma gal have her double negative, it's just the two of us from the South here. Ain't no English majors to get their panties in a twist. You know what I mean. You need to let it out, and as I see it it's a sight better for you to do it here and now instead of halftime 'gainst, oh, I don't know, the Sparks."
She's under my guard. I feel myself goin' stiff, and I know she sees it. "Don't."
"I can't not!" she yells, and Crystal hardly ever yells and that's how I know she's dead serious. "Damn it, you're hurtin' and wounded, and you're gonna drag us all down with you if you're not careful, 'cause there's no way you'll be playin' the way I know you can play, and if there's one thing I can't stand it's watchin' you mope 'round this way! If I have to, I'll punch Teresa's lights out myself, or drag her back to you, whatever I have to do to make you right 'gain."
"I believe most of that, though I don't think you'd get close 'nough to punch Spoon out 'fore she punched you out. Besides, she's got Miko backin' her up." And don't think I haven't wondered 'bout that devotion- gal used to look like a lost puppy sometimes, if lost puppies had glares like knives. But I know Teresa, and I know she'd never let it get anywhere. She's mine, and I'm hers, and that's the way we work it, and all of this distance don't matter.
"I'd take Miko out first. Do I look that stupid?" Crystal shakes her head. "You don't get it, do you? Much as I love Becky, I know she's lyin' 'nd bein' lied about. This isn't her team. Isn't mine or Tari's either. Face it, it's your turn. Your time. You got to get out there and make it known that this is your team. 'Cause let me tell you, I follow your lead, not Becky's. And Tari? She'll follow your lead 'cause you've got the more interestin' lead. And Elena knows you and Teresa from way back, right? Reckon she knows how much Spoon trusted you and how much game you got. This is your team. Not Becky's. You got to take it."
"I don't want to!" The words are out too soon, too much. Even to Crystal I shouldn't have said that, especially not to Crystal. She looks at me, soft brown eyes full of grief, and she keeps her arm over my shoulders and it feels like a little piece of home.
"Shouldn't have happened this way," she whispers, drawin' me closer. "Things aren't right, and we both know it. And- and I want you to know, that I am willin' to do 'most anything I can to make it right. You know that, right?"
And there's somethin' behind her words that I can't place, 'cause Lord knows she is *not* suggestin' that when she has Becky to keep her warm at night. Crystal's almost like my sister too, but not so close, not someone who slips into my childhood memories. She's a best friend, someone I know I can trust. Even then I don't say that much to her, 'cause I don't like to say that much to anyone. It's not worth the trouble of bellyachin'. "I get that."
She looks at me, and this time she's pityin' me. I've seen that look before, the one that a lot of people use when they think I'm just a dirt-dumb Southern gal, but why would Crystal be usin' that one on me? "No, you don't get it. You're still so damn hung up on the woman who just left you that you can't see what's in front of your face or hear the words bein' spoken to you. You're hung up on what used to be. Guess what? Ain't then now. It's now now and you better get to gettin' on with the program." And before I can say a word, before I can demand of her what the hell she means by all that, she turns and walks away, as angry as I've seen her in three years. It's just me and the ball and a place that isn't home. So I set to doin' what I've always done- shootin', dribblin', makin' sure I'm the best I can be.
'Cause, you know, it doesn't matter what's goin' on everywhere else. Within the lines, nothin' else matters. Not love, not the kind of love that gums up the works, not what you think' bout your teammates or those who used to be your teammates, not if the 3 in front of you is good-lookin', not what's not waitin' for you at the end of the game, not bein' lonely, not bein' anythin' 'cept a player. You got to let everythin' ride when you take it to the court. And that's what I've got to do all season long. Lord, help me, 'cause those two that I call my best friends are bound and determined to drive me out of my mind by the end of September.
Author: CG
Rating: PG, maybe?
A/N: I've been trying to write this pairing in a couple of ways, just so it'll stop torturing my personal OTP. Maybe this'll help? 50 minutes.
Disclaimer: Dude. Didn't happen. The people are real, and I don't know them or their sexualities. I make no money off this. If I did, would I have to find a summer job?
Summary: Sometimes you have to start over.
"You take it personal?" she asks me, and she ought to know by now that I don't answer those questions. Never said it, never thought I had to say it, but I'd have to guess she didn't get the message.
"Told you, Crystal, quit nosin' 'round where you shouldn't," I tell her, pushin' back my headband. It's a new thing, somethin' I'm tryin' out. Figure if anyone's entitled to change her hair, it's me, seein' as I've done the same dang thing since my second season, and no one's 'round anymore who remembers me with the short hair.
"Just askin'," she says. "I just get to wond'rin', y'know? I know I'd take it real personal if Becky walked out on this team, and she didn't even build it the way-"
"Let it lie, would you? We got a game tonight, and I do not intend to start this season with a loss. I want to leave as much of last year behind as I can, if it's all the same to you." I turn away from her, reachin' for a ball from the rack and leanin' back to take a jumpshot, lazy like summer sunshine. Takes me a while to find my groove right near the beginnin' of the season, 'specially as I came to camp late- we'd had some loose ends to tie up with Rovereto, me and Crystal, so we came in together.
Crystal doesn't know when to leave somethin' 'lone. "I know you miss her, VJ, can see it in your eyes."
The ball bounces against the Conseco floor, echoin' from the roof. It's just the two of us here, shakin' off the cobwebs and workin' off the rust. At least that's what I'm tryin' to do, but seems that Crystal won't be. "Grab a damn ball, would you? We can take 'em on the perimeter, but we got to have our shots goin' you and me both, and that's not even 'cludin' Becky and Erin and K.B. We got to work on this now so we can do some defensive drills later, 'cause I don't want to have Catchings embarrass us again."
"Can't shoot 'round with all this on my mind," she says, but she takes a ball anyway and starts dribblin' it back and forth, crossin' it over in front of her, ball tracin' a path that I can almost see in the air. "You're not right, Vickie, and you know it, and I know it, and Lord knows Becky and Tari been catchin' on to it too. Bet you a dollar that even K.B. gets it."
Even if I knew how I felt, I wouldn't go spillin' it. Not even to Crystal. I wouldn't even spill it to Teresa, even if it wasn't 'bout not bein' able to spill it to Teresa. "I've known her since I was fourteen years old. That's half my life and then some. Shakes things up when I know where she is and I can't do a thing 'bout it. That's all it is." I'd never tell her that Teresa had come close to becomin' my blood, the older sister I never had- 'cept of course that no girl in her right mind would do with her sister what Teresa and I did. I love her. But I can't say that- she's not one of us anymore, and though I know Crystal knows what I might mean, I still can't say it. I know that poison runs deep in the locker room, even without- well. What goes on in the locker room stays in the locker room, can't go tellin' it to whoever. Crystal thinks things aren't right with me, and she's right, but I'm not the only one. It's all comin' 'part at the seams, and no one knows who's s'posed to be doin' the mendin'. I try, but... there's only so much I can do, and it hurts that I can't fix it all at once.
Crystal lets the ball roll out of bounds- it slides under a chair down by the Feer bench- and puts an arm over my shoulders. "You lie real well. Comes of only havin' brothers, right?"
That's one of the things everyone loves 'bout Crystal. She never knows what not to say. Kym used to be the same way, gave everyone a good laugh. But when Crystal blurts somethin' out, it's not always funny. She just slips somethin' into the conversation and gets under your guard and you realize that she's gotten right to the heart of the problem. "Crystal, I don't know how many times I got to say this. Let it ride."
"Not happenin'. You think I'm gonna let you keep hurtin' this way? What kind of friend would I be? I know you don't like talkin', but it's just the two of us, and I won't tell no one, you know that."
"Yeah, I know that."
"Oh, come on, Louisiana gal, let an Oklahoma gal have her double negative, it's just the two of us from the South here. Ain't no English majors to get their panties in a twist. You know what I mean. You need to let it out, and as I see it it's a sight better for you to do it here and now instead of halftime 'gainst, oh, I don't know, the Sparks."
She's under my guard. I feel myself goin' stiff, and I know she sees it. "Don't."
"I can't not!" she yells, and Crystal hardly ever yells and that's how I know she's dead serious. "Damn it, you're hurtin' and wounded, and you're gonna drag us all down with you if you're not careful, 'cause there's no way you'll be playin' the way I know you can play, and if there's one thing I can't stand it's watchin' you mope 'round this way! If I have to, I'll punch Teresa's lights out myself, or drag her back to you, whatever I have to do to make you right 'gain."
"I believe most of that, though I don't think you'd get close 'nough to punch Spoon out 'fore she punched you out. Besides, she's got Miko backin' her up." And don't think I haven't wondered 'bout that devotion- gal used to look like a lost puppy sometimes, if lost puppies had glares like knives. But I know Teresa, and I know she'd never let it get anywhere. She's mine, and I'm hers, and that's the way we work it, and all of this distance don't matter.
"I'd take Miko out first. Do I look that stupid?" Crystal shakes her head. "You don't get it, do you? Much as I love Becky, I know she's lyin' 'nd bein' lied about. This isn't her team. Isn't mine or Tari's either. Face it, it's your turn. Your time. You got to get out there and make it known that this is your team. 'Cause let me tell you, I follow your lead, not Becky's. And Tari? She'll follow your lead 'cause you've got the more interestin' lead. And Elena knows you and Teresa from way back, right? Reckon she knows how much Spoon trusted you and how much game you got. This is your team. Not Becky's. You got to take it."
"I don't want to!" The words are out too soon, too much. Even to Crystal I shouldn't have said that, especially not to Crystal. She looks at me, soft brown eyes full of grief, and she keeps her arm over my shoulders and it feels like a little piece of home.
"Shouldn't have happened this way," she whispers, drawin' me closer. "Things aren't right, and we both know it. And- and I want you to know, that I am willin' to do 'most anything I can to make it right. You know that, right?"
And there's somethin' behind her words that I can't place, 'cause Lord knows she is *not* suggestin' that when she has Becky to keep her warm at night. Crystal's almost like my sister too, but not so close, not someone who slips into my childhood memories. She's a best friend, someone I know I can trust. Even then I don't say that much to her, 'cause I don't like to say that much to anyone. It's not worth the trouble of bellyachin'. "I get that."
She looks at me, and this time she's pityin' me. I've seen that look before, the one that a lot of people use when they think I'm just a dirt-dumb Southern gal, but why would Crystal be usin' that one on me? "No, you don't get it. You're still so damn hung up on the woman who just left you that you can't see what's in front of your face or hear the words bein' spoken to you. You're hung up on what used to be. Guess what? Ain't then now. It's now now and you better get to gettin' on with the program." And before I can say a word, before I can demand of her what the hell she means by all that, she turns and walks away, as angry as I've seen her in three years. It's just me and the ball and a place that isn't home. So I set to doin' what I've always done- shootin', dribblin', makin' sure I'm the best I can be.
'Cause, you know, it doesn't matter what's goin' on everywhere else. Within the lines, nothin' else matters. Not love, not the kind of love that gums up the works, not what you think' bout your teammates or those who used to be your teammates, not if the 3 in front of you is good-lookin', not what's not waitin' for you at the end of the game, not bein' lonely, not bein' anythin' 'cept a player. You got to let everythin' ride when you take it to the court. And that's what I've got to do all season long. Lord, help me, 'cause those two that I call my best friends are bound and determined to drive me out of my mind by the end of September.