New dreams
Story title: New dreams
Author: alais
Fandom: Arthurian
Pairing: Gawain/Merlin
Rating: Pg13?
Disclaimer: Story mine, characters not
Summary: Gawain contemplates the changes to his thinking since coming to Camelot.
For the contrelamontre poetry challenge in 25 minutes
All I ever wanted - ever - was to rule Orkney and Lothian as they should be ruled. It was my destiny, what I was born for, and my desire was simple: not only to be the king that my birthright proclaimed me, but to be the king my demesnes deserved, wise, valiant, just - glorious.
It was this in mind, and naught else, that I came south to Camelot, to learn the art of leadership, the nuances of ruling, from my Uncle. I came to learn what he could teach, and, in my conceit, I believed that he alone could instruct me. I thought I would study under him, and return, completed, to rule.
I did not think to be taught steadfastness by Cei, nor of patience by Bors. I did not imagine I could learn grace from Lancelot, and even less did I envision that my own youngest brother could teach me gentleness.
Yet all these unlikely things I have learned - however imperfectly - from these unexpected tutors.
But beside thee, my lord, they are as nothing. I arrived here, bloated by mine own importance, arrogant and cocksure. I had tumbled wenches, and believed myself versed in the ways of pleasure and love.. I had seen my father, victorious, and believed that was where glory was found.
Then thou took me, and laid thy hands upon my body, thy will upon my mind, and I found I was as a mewling babe, and that my dreams were those of an ignorant child.
Under thy instruction, in the long nights when the fire had burned down to embers, I have learned new dreams, dreams of pleasure, love, and glory that go so far beyond anything I ever pictured before as to render it weak and colourless by comparison. They are of such power and intensity that thy very touch, even the brushing of thy fingers over mine in the passing of a wine-cup, kindles a longing that I can barely suppress, to flee all company and retreat to thy tower, where I can wait for thee, impatient and feverish in anticipation of the moment thou wilt come and make fantasy into reality once more.
I am a king, but thou makest a beggar of me, a slave. There is nothing I have that I would not give thee; nothing that I am or that I can do that I will not be and do in thy service alone, if thou wilt but touch me, once in a while, with thy hands, and lips, hold me close in thy arms and guide me back to the places where my dreams are truth.
I am thine, my lord, my love, my Merlin - my dreams are all and only of thee.
Author: alais
Fandom: Arthurian
Pairing: Gawain/Merlin
Rating: Pg13?
Disclaimer: Story mine, characters not
Summary: Gawain contemplates the changes to his thinking since coming to Camelot.
For the contrelamontre poetry challenge in 25 minutes
All I ever wanted - ever - was to rule Orkney and Lothian as they should be ruled. It was my destiny, what I was born for, and my desire was simple: not only to be the king that my birthright proclaimed me, but to be the king my demesnes deserved, wise, valiant, just - glorious.
It was this in mind, and naught else, that I came south to Camelot, to learn the art of leadership, the nuances of ruling, from my Uncle. I came to learn what he could teach, and, in my conceit, I believed that he alone could instruct me. I thought I would study under him, and return, completed, to rule.
I did not think to be taught steadfastness by Cei, nor of patience by Bors. I did not imagine I could learn grace from Lancelot, and even less did I envision that my own youngest brother could teach me gentleness.
Yet all these unlikely things I have learned - however imperfectly - from these unexpected tutors.
But beside thee, my lord, they are as nothing. I arrived here, bloated by mine own importance, arrogant and cocksure. I had tumbled wenches, and believed myself versed in the ways of pleasure and love.. I had seen my father, victorious, and believed that was where glory was found.
Then thou took me, and laid thy hands upon my body, thy will upon my mind, and I found I was as a mewling babe, and that my dreams were those of an ignorant child.
Under thy instruction, in the long nights when the fire had burned down to embers, I have learned new dreams, dreams of pleasure, love, and glory that go so far beyond anything I ever pictured before as to render it weak and colourless by comparison. They are of such power and intensity that thy very touch, even the brushing of thy fingers over mine in the passing of a wine-cup, kindles a longing that I can barely suppress, to flee all company and retreat to thy tower, where I can wait for thee, impatient and feverish in anticipation of the moment thou wilt come and make fantasy into reality once more.
I am a king, but thou makest a beggar of me, a slave. There is nothing I have that I would not give thee; nothing that I am or that I can do that I will not be and do in thy service alone, if thou wilt but touch me, once in a while, with thy hands, and lips, hold me close in thy arms and guide me back to the places where my dreams are truth.
I am thine, my lord, my love, my Merlin - my dreams are all and only of thee.