(no subject)
OH FREAKING GOD I FEEL LIKE CRYING BECAUSE OF MY COWARDICE.
I have no idea what to do now. I was browsing through the portable hard drive just now, and I decided to look around 'My received files' Then I saw my chat conversations with her.
FREAKING alot of memories came rushing to my head. And I decided to google her email and landed upon her deviantart.
All sorts of emotions came rushing through my head. I felt happy, scared, estatic. I felt so hyper as I finally found a friend of mind whom I can act however I want without any restrictions. And then I felt scared. I don't have the courage to find back this friend. I can't bring myself to.
Many reasons. I got to know her in a different name, in an environment I can't say I like very much. And how the hell am I suppose to approach her!
Browsing through her gallery, I've got to say I'm so impressed. She still has that same old humourous and loving self, just that her photography and concepts improved ten or twenty fold. I DONT DARE! I feel so much like crying now.
Actually I cried a little for many times today because of this. I think I'll just send her a message thing tomorrow? Just to try my luck. I wouldn't want to leave things at it is now and feel all regretful and terrible.
I wonder if she remembers me though. I doubt anyone would know who I'm talking about. All I can say that I remember all those people who made me what I am today. Mostly my internet friends. Some of them even from 3 or 4 years ago.
And CANDICE! She replied my email which I sent out to her gmail during february! Out of coincidence! And now that I've replied back, I'm waiting for a reply. I can't believe I can actually 'find back' 2 of my lost online friends in a week.
IFEELSOFREAKINGCOWARDICE. IDONTDARETO. IMSOFREAKINGSCARED. OHGOD. IFEELLIKECRYINGAGAIN.
I have no idea what to do now. I was browsing through the portable hard drive just now, and I decided to look around 'My received files' Then I saw my chat conversations with her.
FREAKING alot of memories came rushing to my head. And I decided to google her email and landed upon her deviantart.
All sorts of emotions came rushing through my head. I felt happy, scared, estatic. I felt so hyper as I finally found a friend of mind whom I can act however I want without any restrictions. And then I felt scared. I don't have the courage to find back this friend. I can't bring myself to.
Many reasons. I got to know her in a different name, in an environment I can't say I like very much. And how the hell am I suppose to approach her!
Browsing through her gallery, I've got to say I'm so impressed. She still has that same old humourous and loving self, just that her photography and concepts improved ten or twenty fold. I DONT DARE! I feel so much like crying now.
Actually I cried a little for many times today because of this. I think I'll just send her a message thing tomorrow? Just to try my luck. I wouldn't want to leave things at it is now and feel all regretful and terrible.
I wonder if she remembers me though. I doubt anyone would know who I'm talking about. All I can say that I remember all those people who made me what I am today. Mostly my internet friends. Some of them even from 3 or 4 years ago.
And CANDICE! She replied my email which I sent out to her gmail during february! Out of coincidence! And now that I've replied back, I'm waiting for a reply. I can't believe I can actually 'find back' 2 of my lost online friends in a week.
IFEELSOFREAKINGCOWARDICE. IDONTDARETO. IMSOFREAKINGSCARED. OHGOD. IFEELLIKECRYINGAGAIN.