Kiss Me Good-bye
Author: evil_queen369
Genre: Angst, horror
Fandom: The GazettE, Kagrra, Nightmare, NEWs/Tegomass
Pairings: Uruha/Aoi
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None, yet.
Chapter: 6/?
Synopsis: Back then I was only six, and even though I was young I knew something bad was going to happen.
Comment: Comment and let me know what you think~ ♥
“Hey Uruha?” I groaned into my pillow and pulled my blankets up to my shoulder. It was late, or at least late to a little kid. Aoi was pretty talkative that night. Normally I wasn’t used to him talking so much, but we were gradually getting closer. It had been at least two weeks since Aoi had said he liked me, and ever since we hadn’t seen his doppelganger, and there were no spirits in the room that we knew of. Nothing had touched me, and I didn’t hear any whispering at night. Every night Aoi stayed awake and watched me just to make sure I would be okay. At first it was strange feeling someone’s eyes on me at all hours of the night, but I knew he was just protecting me.
We were a lot closer than we were before, but there were still times when Aoi would just stop communicating with me. I learned that usually happened when his doppelganger was near, but didn’t make an appearance. Sometimes I wondered if he was Aoi at those times, or if he was the doppelganger. He had told me not to trust him too much because I could never know for sure, but I also never asked. I didn’t want to know if I was with Aoi or not because I didn’t want to think about being unprotected.
I could hear Aoi jump off his bed and his feet shuffling across the floor. There was one thing I didn’t like about him: because he was a ghost he really didn’t need to sleep, and he seemed to think I didn’t need to sleep either. Aoi had a habit of talking to me at night when he was bored, which meant I hardly got any sleep and tried to take naps during the day.
“Uruha~” He crawled onto my bed and poked my cheek causing me to pull the blankets tighter against my body. “I want to talk to you.”
“Then talk to me and stop poking me~” I whined and moved my blankets so I could see him. He had a sheepish smile on his face, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t’ cute. His dark hair fell in his eyes, and he was sitting on his knees with his fingers laced together on his lap. He looked adorable, but that still didn’t excuse him from waking me up.
“I’m bored.” He spoke sheepishly; his hair was moved out of his face and tucked behind his ear. It was the same thing almost every night, and just like those nights I knew I was going to stay awake with him. It’s not like I had anything I actually had to do the next day, or any day, really, so I lifted up my blankets and motioned for him to lie down with me.
I didn’t mind sleeping with Aoi next to me because he was quiet if he didn’t have anything he wanted to say. Most of the time he would just lie there and say nothing even if he was bored. I’d like to think it was because he knew I was tired and didn’t feel like talking.
I opened my arms and let him snuggle against me. It was still strange to me that I could literally hold a ghost. I thought for sure it wasn’t possible for me to do that because he was a spirit, but I’ve touched him countless times.
“Why can I feel you?” I suddenly asked. His head rested on my shoulder and his arms were wrapped around my waist. I could hear him sigh before he looked up at me and looked back down.
“It’s the connection between us.” He simply answered.
---
He was miserable; the disease was getting worse and worse, and the half-ass doctors weren’t paying much attention. All day and all night Uruha laid in his bed suffering. It was so hot, and he had long thrown his blankets to the floor in a desperate attempt to get rid of some of the heat. His body was covered in beads of sweat that soaked into his light hospital gown. There was no way for Uruha to get comfortable.
He no longer went to the playroom during the afternoon to play with his friends or talk to Aoi. Uruha did nothing but lie in bed with Aoi sitting next to him. He didn’t mind so much that he felt horrible because he knew Aoi was there with him the whole time. Aoi was trying his best to occupy his friend’s mind with something else other than his misery.
Aoi remembered the pain he went through every day; the pain Uruha was currently feeling. His lungs hurt the worst because tuberculosis attacked the lungs. It was painful to even breathe, and most of the time Aoi spent his time lying in the same bed Uruha was in. It was like déjà vu. He could picture himself lying in the bed with the blankets pooling around his waist with a wet piece of cloth draped over his forehead. He remembered the pain ripping through his chest, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He remembered his bloodstained sheets and gown, and the fear he felt every time he coughed and saw more blood spewing from his mouth.
His fingers ran through Uruha’s soft hair as some form of comfort, but he knew it really wasn’t helping anything. There was nothing he could do to ease Uruha’s pain.
“It hurts.” Uruha whined as tears fell from his eyes. He had never felt so much pain before, and there was nothing that could make him feel any better because the doctors wouldn’t do their job. Nothing mattered to them. People on the outside thought this was such a great hospital; that the patients got all the help possible, but it was the complete opposite. It was rare for a doctor to enter Uruha’s room. Most of the time he only had a mean nurse or a ghost nurse who materialized. Neither one of them were really able to help.
“Shh…” The ghostly boy placed his hand on the sick boy’s chest and moved it in slow circles, rubbing soothingly even if he knew it wouldn’t do anything in the long run. “I know it hurts, but you have to fight it.” But fighting such a disease without any medical treatment was impossible and Aoi knew that first hand.
“Tell me about you.”
Aoi pursed his lips, his hand still moving slowly. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Uruha everything about him, he didn’t suppose. “What do you want to know?” Maybe this was Uruha’s way of occupying his mind with something else and forgetting about the pain.
“Everything. Where are you from? Who is your family? What were you like?”
“I was born in Mie.” Aoi shifted on the bed, bending his left leg and letting the right hang off the side of the bed. “I guess I was a normal kid and did normal stuff when I was alive. I used to go out and play soccer with the kids in the neighborhood, and my brothers and I used to go swimming. I used to watch my brother surf sometimes, and I wanted to learn to. I never got to, though.”
“Because you died?”
“Because I contracted tuberculosis from a kid at school. I don’t know if he died from it or not because he stayed in Mie. I don’t know how I ended up all the way in Tokyo. I always wondered why my parents decided to bring me here. It was probably because everyone thinks Tokyo is so great and the hospitals are topnotch.” Aoi stopped talking as Uruha began coughing again. The sick boy sat up, covering his mouth while Aoi rubbed his back. He could hear small whimpers come from the little boy, and he wished there was something he could do. It wasn’t fair that someone like Uruha had to go through this.
“Can you get me some water?” Uruha reached over to the side of his bed to grab a tissue, and began cleaning off the blood from around his mouth and on his hands. He wanted to take a bath so he could feel completely clean again, but he wasn’t allowed in the bathtub without the supervision of a nurse, and since they never did their job he hardly got to bathe. There were times when Hitomi would come in and ask him if he wanted to take a bath while she cleaned his room, and there used to be times when Miyako would pick him up and help him because, at the time, he was too little to clean himself properly.
Aoi hopped off the bed in a hurry and ran to the sink where Uruha’s favorite glass sat. He filled it up quickly before he was carefully walking back to the bed to make sure he wouldn’t spill anything. Once he was close enough, he handed the glass to the little boy and sat back on the bed. He watched Uruha drink the whole glass in one go before Uruha put the glass on the tray by his bed.
“Thank you.” He smiled and laid back down. “Did you have a roommate when you were here, Aoi?”
“No.” Aoi shook his head sadly. “I was completely alone through everything. At night I didn’t have someone comforting me and telling me everything would be okay. I didn’t have a friend to talk to, or even a friend. That’s why I stay by your side through everything. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“You didn’t even have an imaginary friend?” Because most kids made friends up when they felt lonely. Massu was a prime example of that, so did Aoi make up a friend?
“I had a teddy bear Obaasaan gave me for my second birthday. That was my only friend.” Aoi spoke sadly as he laid himself down and buried his face in Uruha's neck. It was hard going through day and night all alone. There was no one to talk to, and no one to play with, and every night he laid in bed and stared at the wall listening to the hum of the machinery around him until he fell asleep. He hated the loneliness he felt back then. He hated the fact that he died alone.
“But you don’t have to be sad anymore. You have me now, and I won’t leave you.” Uruha spoke softly and tiredly. His little hand came up to pat Aoi on the head before Uruha decided to put his thumb in his mouth; a habit he was yet to break. “I won’t leave you even if you're mean to me sometimes, or you scare me.”
“It’s not like I mean to scare you…”
“But you do when you do that head tilty thing, and then you stare at me, and you watch all those scary shows on TV, and then at night you sit up and look at me and smile and go lay down again. You’re creepy.” Uruha stuck his tongue out around the thumb in his mouth. “Creepy~ Creepy~ Creepy~”
“I am not!” Aoi squealed, “I was just looking at you. That’s not creepy.”
“Is too.” Uruha answered stubbornly. “Aoi, can you make Hitomi give me something so my chest stops hurting?”
“What makes you think I can do that?” Aoi sat up straight with a raised eyebrow. What was a ghost boy supposed to do?
“Because you’re Aoi. You put her back, so you can tell her what to do! Now make her give me something. I can't sleep if it hurts so much.” Uruha was once again whining, and Aoi didn’t want to listen to it anymore. He knew that pain, and just knowing what Uruha felt was enough to upset him; he didn’t need to hear Uruha whine about it.
“Okay, I’ll go get her.”
---
That night I was left alone in my room while Aoi ran around the hospital trying to find Hitomi. I wondered why he didn’t just use some strange ghost power to make her appear, but then again I don’t think he really had powers. If he did, I didn’t really pay too much attention to them.
My chest felt like it was being ripped apart. Every move I made only made it worse, and I just wished Aoi would get back with some form of medication, or at least Hitomi would show up and give me some morphine. Believe it or not, the pain was strong enough to need a drug like morphine.
I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t even think about shutting my eyes. I used to be able to ignore the pain because I didn’t want to be a bother. It didn’t matter if I said anything or not, I realized, because either way we were all just an annoyance to the entire hospital staff. Just being in that hospital meant we were automatically in the way.
By the time Aoi had come back, my pillow was wet beneath my head and my eyes were sore. He was taking too long for my liking. It probably wasn’t as long as I had thought, but I was so used to spending time with Aoi that it felt like forever when he was gone. Because Aoi was always there. He was there when I went to sleep, he was there when I woke up, and he was there when I left the room. Everywhere I went, Aoi was there. It was strange being alone all of a sudden. Not even my stuffed ducky could make me feel better because my ducky wasn’t Aoi.
I felt the bed dip behind me, and turned to my side ready to ask him what took him so long. It couldn’t have been that hard to go to the nurses station and snoop around. I could have been there and back a dozen times in the time it took him to go there once.
“You’re…” I pursed my lips and looked at Aoi. He was sitting there next to me with two little pills on his palm, but I wasn’t able to swallow pills back then. I always had a choking phobia, and Aoi knew about that. I had told him one night when he asked me to tell him all about me. “not my Aoi.” It couldn’t have been. Aoi almost always greeted me when he came in the room, and when he sat on my bed, he always sat on my right. He had once said he felt more comfortable with his back to the windows when he laid down with me.
“Don’t be stupid, Uruha. Of course I’m your Aoi.” He rolled his eyes and patted me on the shoulder.
“Not uh, because if you were the real Aoi you would have blushed when I called you my Aoi!” I sat up and pointed my finger in his face. Somehow I managed to push aside the pain rippling through me. “You’re his doppelganger, and you don’t like me.”
“I’m not a doppelganger.” But I wasn’t stupid. I knew Aoi better than he thought, and I knew for a fact I wasn’t talking to the real Aoi because the real Aoi would have come into the room and laid down next to me, and asked me how I was feeling or if I needed anything. Aoi was just polite like that.
“Fine,” I hopped off the bed and made my way toward the door. The hard tiles were cold against my bare feet, and a shiver ran through my body. “You’re not a doppelganger. Then I guess I’ll just have to go to the nurses station all by myself.” Because that’s where the real Aoi was.
“I’ll go with you, that way you won’t be afraid.”
“I’m not afraid!” I whirled around. “I’m a big boy now. I’m six, and I’m not afraid to go find Hitomi all by myself.” I nodded, but I was afraid. I was afraid to be alone with a doppelganger that hated me and wanted to hurt me. Without Aoi there, I knew I wouldn’t last for long unless I pretended as if I was sure he was the real Aoi.
But he wasn't going to last long because I was going to go find Aoi, and that doppelganger would be sorry because Aoi was going to protect me because Aoi liked me.
Genre: Angst, horror
Fandom: The GazettE, Kagrra, Nightmare, NEWs/Tegomass
Pairings: Uruha/Aoi
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None, yet.
Chapter: 6/?
Synopsis: Back then I was only six, and even though I was young I knew something bad was going to happen.
Comment: Comment and let me know what you think~ ♥
“Hey Uruha?” I groaned into my pillow and pulled my blankets up to my shoulder. It was late, or at least late to a little kid. Aoi was pretty talkative that night. Normally I wasn’t used to him talking so much, but we were gradually getting closer. It had been at least two weeks since Aoi had said he liked me, and ever since we hadn’t seen his doppelganger, and there were no spirits in the room that we knew of. Nothing had touched me, and I didn’t hear any whispering at night. Every night Aoi stayed awake and watched me just to make sure I would be okay. At first it was strange feeling someone’s eyes on me at all hours of the night, but I knew he was just protecting me.
We were a lot closer than we were before, but there were still times when Aoi would just stop communicating with me. I learned that usually happened when his doppelganger was near, but didn’t make an appearance. Sometimes I wondered if he was Aoi at those times, or if he was the doppelganger. He had told me not to trust him too much because I could never know for sure, but I also never asked. I didn’t want to know if I was with Aoi or not because I didn’t want to think about being unprotected.
I could hear Aoi jump off his bed and his feet shuffling across the floor. There was one thing I didn’t like about him: because he was a ghost he really didn’t need to sleep, and he seemed to think I didn’t need to sleep either. Aoi had a habit of talking to me at night when he was bored, which meant I hardly got any sleep and tried to take naps during the day.
“Uruha~” He crawled onto my bed and poked my cheek causing me to pull the blankets tighter against my body. “I want to talk to you.”
“Then talk to me and stop poking me~” I whined and moved my blankets so I could see him. He had a sheepish smile on his face, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t’ cute. His dark hair fell in his eyes, and he was sitting on his knees with his fingers laced together on his lap. He looked adorable, but that still didn’t excuse him from waking me up.
“I’m bored.” He spoke sheepishly; his hair was moved out of his face and tucked behind his ear. It was the same thing almost every night, and just like those nights I knew I was going to stay awake with him. It’s not like I had anything I actually had to do the next day, or any day, really, so I lifted up my blankets and motioned for him to lie down with me.
I didn’t mind sleeping with Aoi next to me because he was quiet if he didn’t have anything he wanted to say. Most of the time he would just lie there and say nothing even if he was bored. I’d like to think it was because he knew I was tired and didn’t feel like talking.
I opened my arms and let him snuggle against me. It was still strange to me that I could literally hold a ghost. I thought for sure it wasn’t possible for me to do that because he was a spirit, but I’ve touched him countless times.
“Why can I feel you?” I suddenly asked. His head rested on my shoulder and his arms were wrapped around my waist. I could hear him sigh before he looked up at me and looked back down.
“It’s the connection between us.” He simply answered.
---
He was miserable; the disease was getting worse and worse, and the half-ass doctors weren’t paying much attention. All day and all night Uruha laid in his bed suffering. It was so hot, and he had long thrown his blankets to the floor in a desperate attempt to get rid of some of the heat. His body was covered in beads of sweat that soaked into his light hospital gown. There was no way for Uruha to get comfortable.
He no longer went to the playroom during the afternoon to play with his friends or talk to Aoi. Uruha did nothing but lie in bed with Aoi sitting next to him. He didn’t mind so much that he felt horrible because he knew Aoi was there with him the whole time. Aoi was trying his best to occupy his friend’s mind with something else other than his misery.
Aoi remembered the pain he went through every day; the pain Uruha was currently feeling. His lungs hurt the worst because tuberculosis attacked the lungs. It was painful to even breathe, and most of the time Aoi spent his time lying in the same bed Uruha was in. It was like déjà vu. He could picture himself lying in the bed with the blankets pooling around his waist with a wet piece of cloth draped over his forehead. He remembered the pain ripping through his chest, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He remembered his bloodstained sheets and gown, and the fear he felt every time he coughed and saw more blood spewing from his mouth.
His fingers ran through Uruha’s soft hair as some form of comfort, but he knew it really wasn’t helping anything. There was nothing he could do to ease Uruha’s pain.
“It hurts.” Uruha whined as tears fell from his eyes. He had never felt so much pain before, and there was nothing that could make him feel any better because the doctors wouldn’t do their job. Nothing mattered to them. People on the outside thought this was such a great hospital; that the patients got all the help possible, but it was the complete opposite. It was rare for a doctor to enter Uruha’s room. Most of the time he only had a mean nurse or a ghost nurse who materialized. Neither one of them were really able to help.
“Shh…” The ghostly boy placed his hand on the sick boy’s chest and moved it in slow circles, rubbing soothingly even if he knew it wouldn’t do anything in the long run. “I know it hurts, but you have to fight it.” But fighting such a disease without any medical treatment was impossible and Aoi knew that first hand.
“Tell me about you.”
Aoi pursed his lips, his hand still moving slowly. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Uruha everything about him, he didn’t suppose. “What do you want to know?” Maybe this was Uruha’s way of occupying his mind with something else and forgetting about the pain.
“Everything. Where are you from? Who is your family? What were you like?”
“I was born in Mie.” Aoi shifted on the bed, bending his left leg and letting the right hang off the side of the bed. “I guess I was a normal kid and did normal stuff when I was alive. I used to go out and play soccer with the kids in the neighborhood, and my brothers and I used to go swimming. I used to watch my brother surf sometimes, and I wanted to learn to. I never got to, though.”
“Because you died?”
“Because I contracted tuberculosis from a kid at school. I don’t know if he died from it or not because he stayed in Mie. I don’t know how I ended up all the way in Tokyo. I always wondered why my parents decided to bring me here. It was probably because everyone thinks Tokyo is so great and the hospitals are topnotch.” Aoi stopped talking as Uruha began coughing again. The sick boy sat up, covering his mouth while Aoi rubbed his back. He could hear small whimpers come from the little boy, and he wished there was something he could do. It wasn’t fair that someone like Uruha had to go through this.
“Can you get me some water?” Uruha reached over to the side of his bed to grab a tissue, and began cleaning off the blood from around his mouth and on his hands. He wanted to take a bath so he could feel completely clean again, but he wasn’t allowed in the bathtub without the supervision of a nurse, and since they never did their job he hardly got to bathe. There were times when Hitomi would come in and ask him if he wanted to take a bath while she cleaned his room, and there used to be times when Miyako would pick him up and help him because, at the time, he was too little to clean himself properly.
Aoi hopped off the bed in a hurry and ran to the sink where Uruha’s favorite glass sat. He filled it up quickly before he was carefully walking back to the bed to make sure he wouldn’t spill anything. Once he was close enough, he handed the glass to the little boy and sat back on the bed. He watched Uruha drink the whole glass in one go before Uruha put the glass on the tray by his bed.
“Thank you.” He smiled and laid back down. “Did you have a roommate when you were here, Aoi?”
“No.” Aoi shook his head sadly. “I was completely alone through everything. At night I didn’t have someone comforting me and telling me everything would be okay. I didn’t have a friend to talk to, or even a friend. That’s why I stay by your side through everything. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“You didn’t even have an imaginary friend?” Because most kids made friends up when they felt lonely. Massu was a prime example of that, so did Aoi make up a friend?
“I had a teddy bear Obaasaan gave me for my second birthday. That was my only friend.” Aoi spoke sadly as he laid himself down and buried his face in Uruha's neck. It was hard going through day and night all alone. There was no one to talk to, and no one to play with, and every night he laid in bed and stared at the wall listening to the hum of the machinery around him until he fell asleep. He hated the loneliness he felt back then. He hated the fact that he died alone.
“But you don’t have to be sad anymore. You have me now, and I won’t leave you.” Uruha spoke softly and tiredly. His little hand came up to pat Aoi on the head before Uruha decided to put his thumb in his mouth; a habit he was yet to break. “I won’t leave you even if you're mean to me sometimes, or you scare me.”
“It’s not like I mean to scare you…”
“But you do when you do that head tilty thing, and then you stare at me, and you watch all those scary shows on TV, and then at night you sit up and look at me and smile and go lay down again. You’re creepy.” Uruha stuck his tongue out around the thumb in his mouth. “Creepy~ Creepy~ Creepy~”
“I am not!” Aoi squealed, “I was just looking at you. That’s not creepy.”
“Is too.” Uruha answered stubbornly. “Aoi, can you make Hitomi give me something so my chest stops hurting?”
“What makes you think I can do that?” Aoi sat up straight with a raised eyebrow. What was a ghost boy supposed to do?
“Because you’re Aoi. You put her back, so you can tell her what to do! Now make her give me something. I can't sleep if it hurts so much.” Uruha was once again whining, and Aoi didn’t want to listen to it anymore. He knew that pain, and just knowing what Uruha felt was enough to upset him; he didn’t need to hear Uruha whine about it.
“Okay, I’ll go get her.”
---
That night I was left alone in my room while Aoi ran around the hospital trying to find Hitomi. I wondered why he didn’t just use some strange ghost power to make her appear, but then again I don’t think he really had powers. If he did, I didn’t really pay too much attention to them.
My chest felt like it was being ripped apart. Every move I made only made it worse, and I just wished Aoi would get back with some form of medication, or at least Hitomi would show up and give me some morphine. Believe it or not, the pain was strong enough to need a drug like morphine.
I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t even think about shutting my eyes. I used to be able to ignore the pain because I didn’t want to be a bother. It didn’t matter if I said anything or not, I realized, because either way we were all just an annoyance to the entire hospital staff. Just being in that hospital meant we were automatically in the way.
By the time Aoi had come back, my pillow was wet beneath my head and my eyes were sore. He was taking too long for my liking. It probably wasn’t as long as I had thought, but I was so used to spending time with Aoi that it felt like forever when he was gone. Because Aoi was always there. He was there when I went to sleep, he was there when I woke up, and he was there when I left the room. Everywhere I went, Aoi was there. It was strange being alone all of a sudden. Not even my stuffed ducky could make me feel better because my ducky wasn’t Aoi.
I felt the bed dip behind me, and turned to my side ready to ask him what took him so long. It couldn’t have been that hard to go to the nurses station and snoop around. I could have been there and back a dozen times in the time it took him to go there once.
“You’re…” I pursed my lips and looked at Aoi. He was sitting there next to me with two little pills on his palm, but I wasn’t able to swallow pills back then. I always had a choking phobia, and Aoi knew about that. I had told him one night when he asked me to tell him all about me. “not my Aoi.” It couldn’t have been. Aoi almost always greeted me when he came in the room, and when he sat on my bed, he always sat on my right. He had once said he felt more comfortable with his back to the windows when he laid down with me.
“Don’t be stupid, Uruha. Of course I’m your Aoi.” He rolled his eyes and patted me on the shoulder.
“Not uh, because if you were the real Aoi you would have blushed when I called you my Aoi!” I sat up and pointed my finger in his face. Somehow I managed to push aside the pain rippling through me. “You’re his doppelganger, and you don’t like me.”
“I’m not a doppelganger.” But I wasn’t stupid. I knew Aoi better than he thought, and I knew for a fact I wasn’t talking to the real Aoi because the real Aoi would have come into the room and laid down next to me, and asked me how I was feeling or if I needed anything. Aoi was just polite like that.
“Fine,” I hopped off the bed and made my way toward the door. The hard tiles were cold against my bare feet, and a shiver ran through my body. “You’re not a doppelganger. Then I guess I’ll just have to go to the nurses station all by myself.” Because that’s where the real Aoi was.
“I’ll go with you, that way you won’t be afraid.”
“I’m not afraid!” I whirled around. “I’m a big boy now. I’m six, and I’m not afraid to go find Hitomi all by myself.” I nodded, but I was afraid. I was afraid to be alone with a doppelganger that hated me and wanted to hurt me. Without Aoi there, I knew I wouldn’t last for long unless I pretended as if I was sure he was the real Aoi.
But he wasn't going to last long because I was going to go find Aoi, and that doppelganger would be sorry because Aoi was going to protect me because Aoi liked me.