. lucky .
you know, i feel bad sitting here doing nothing, yet doing nothing in a fairly healthy state. i'm not suffering or anything, and i've taken it for granted by not really doing anything today besides the interview. i feel like i've wasted so much valuable time. i guess it's because my grandpa is suffering right now and i wish i could've given him my day, yanno? transfer one day of my life to him so he could enjoy life one last time.
they took him off of the breathing machines so the doctors said he'd only have about 24 more hours. this was at 4pm.
some of his coworkers came in to see him because they didn't know he was this ill. one of them asked who Tiana was, and my mom told her i was her daughter. the lady said my grandpa talked about me everyday at work, always saying how proud of me he was and how successful i'd be in the future. it made me smile, and most certainly brought a tear to mi ojo. man. my grandpa is awesome. i wish i could be there. i kind of feel like i should've applied and gone to UCLA, just to make him happy. but at the same time i couldn't lie to myself because everything happens for a reason. if i had decided to go to UCLA then i might not have this internship, or all of these experiences this past year. sure, i worked a hell of a lot, but i also grew and learned so much more than i ever would've had i been stuck in a university.
it's hard sticking with our decisions and i'm definitely not one that can. i'm the most indecisive person ever. i almost give up on shopping. i'm impulsive. i see something i like and get it. then i'll hate it and just end up returning it. i have trouble commiting to anything or going through with an important decision too because there's always that worry that i'll regret it later.
life's crazy sometimes. all i know is that i have to make my grandpa proud. i have to.
they took him off of the breathing machines so the doctors said he'd only have about 24 more hours. this was at 4pm.
some of his coworkers came in to see him because they didn't know he was this ill. one of them asked who Tiana was, and my mom told her i was her daughter. the lady said my grandpa talked about me everyday at work, always saying how proud of me he was and how successful i'd be in the future. it made me smile, and most certainly brought a tear to mi ojo. man. my grandpa is awesome. i wish i could be there. i kind of feel like i should've applied and gone to UCLA, just to make him happy. but at the same time i couldn't lie to myself because everything happens for a reason. if i had decided to go to UCLA then i might not have this internship, or all of these experiences this past year. sure, i worked a hell of a lot, but i also grew and learned so much more than i ever would've had i been stuck in a university.
it's hard sticking with our decisions and i'm definitely not one that can. i'm the most indecisive person ever. i almost give up on shopping. i'm impulsive. i see something i like and get it. then i'll hate it and just end up returning it. i have trouble commiting to anything or going through with an important decision too because there's always that worry that i'll regret it later.
life's crazy sometimes. all i know is that i have to make my grandpa proud. i have to.