(no subject)
hmmm...Im yet to tell Josh of the ideas that floated into my head today. But hell know as soon as he comes and takes me off to his house.
So I was re-reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, highligting words and quotes that interesed me...when I came across the quote "We accept the love we think we deserve." And I thought too much. And cried for the first time in a while. I thought about how many times I threw away Chris. I knew I dident deserve him. And the heartache that came along with it is just what I deserved...But the thought that I threw away Chris says I knew his love was more deserving than I. But I threw him away for Josh. Does this mean that I think that Chris' love means more than Joshs'?? Im terribly confused/depressed.
*Joshua im no good with words to your face. In fact Im terrible at talking to you. You know that. And for this I appologize.
I walked right by him today and I know that He saw me and I couldent help but think that he knew what I was thinking. Ashamed and afraid I cleared my mind quickly.
So I was re-reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, highligting words and quotes that interesed me...when I came across the quote "We accept the love we think we deserve." And I thought too much. And cried for the first time in a while. I thought about how many times I threw away Chris. I knew I dident deserve him. And the heartache that came along with it is just what I deserved...But the thought that I threw away Chris says I knew his love was more deserving than I. But I threw him away for Josh. Does this mean that I think that Chris' love means more than Joshs'?? Im terribly confused/depressed.
*Joshua im no good with words to your face. In fact Im terrible at talking to you. You know that. And for this I appologize.
I walked right by him today and I know that He saw me and I couldent help but think that he knew what I was thinking. Ashamed and afraid I cleared my mind quickly.