(no subject)
Once upon a time I lived in a castle
The castle was very cold and I did not like that
So I decided to leave
But I had been in the castle for a really long time
So I forgot how it is one should get out
It's an odd thing really, forgetting how to leave a place. One simply leaves the way they came in
And surely if a place, such as a castle, has made such a lasting impression on me that I decided to stay for so long, then why didn't I remember my first day, I wondered
When I thought about it, I couldn't even remember how to use the door
I know it opens somehow. Perhaps out? Or maybe in? Do they go both ways? Perhaps...
But I was very uncertain
And so I was afraid to leave
Now, bear in mind, I wasn't even at the door
This was still up in the spire of the castle, some 3 miles up from the ground
So high up was the castle that I would look down to view the clouds
Now, correct me if I'm wrong dear reader, but I'm quite certain that you, outside the castle, generally look up to see clouds
But still, I wanted to leave
Perhaps if I just wander around for a bit, it'll jog my memory and I'll be able to get out I pondered uproariously. Eventually I found some stairs
Some went down, some went up, some gave the impression of going up, but merely went around in circles staying on the same level
Now you see, here was my reasoning, if the clouds were down and I wanted them to be up, then perhaps I should go down
Clouds down = me up. Me up = clouds down
So down the stairs I went.
After a long while of walking I came across a toad sitting on the steps
He was a portly fellow dressed in a nice suit and wearing a puff little white wig on his head
"How do you do?" I said to the toad
"Oh I'm quite fine" he said, "Are you here for the dinner party?"
Not wanting to appear rude - for this particular toad looked to be a very well-to-do socialite - and not wanting to appear ignorant - for what well-to-do socialite throws parties no one knows about? - I decided to tell a fib
"Yes. Yes I am here for the party" I said
Or should I say, "fibbed"
"Right this way" the well-to-do toad with the white, puff ball hat said to me
And he lead me into a room off the stairs
It was quite odd, I'd never seen this room before. It was quite lavish indeed, furnished with the most exotic of furnitures
There was a chair that look like a mushroom, except the cap had a dent in it for one to sit themselves in
The table appeared to be some sort of giant thermostat laid on its side
"Oh that" said the Toad, "Yes, that actually is a thermostat. And a table. The knob doubles as a lazy susan, but as you spin it around the temperature of the room changes"
The walls were a particularly nice touch as well
You had to keep your eyes on the walls, because as soon as you looked away the wallpaper would turn into the floorpaper and a new wallpaper would be on the wall
However, most captivating of all the elements in the room were the corpses strewn all about
One gentlemen sat in the mushroom chair, a phone protruding from his eyeball, a look of absolute anger across his face
The toad quickly jogged over to the man and hung up a speech bubble, "PUT ALL MY SHARES INTO THE RAILROADS" it read
meanwhile, over at the thermostat table, a horribly dead ruckus appeared to be taking place
some guests had been eaten while others, were merely slumped over in their chairs
"THE FLESH HAS BEEN POISONED" read one speech bubble
By the wall paper sat a lone woman, she said nothing, save for the dew resting on her cheek, as though it had left on a trip from her eyeball and then forgot where it was going midway
Maybe it needed some eggs at the supermarket, I thought
"No," said the toad, "Definitely milk"
"Yes, yes" I agreed, "Definitely milk"
The toad invited me to stay a while longer, but it was time to be heading back
It was dark back on the stairs
Must be nighttime I thought. I was feeling a bit of a nap coming on as well.
I began to head back up to my room
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll leave.
The castle was very cold and I did not like that
So I decided to leave
But I had been in the castle for a really long time
So I forgot how it is one should get out
It's an odd thing really, forgetting how to leave a place. One simply leaves the way they came in
And surely if a place, such as a castle, has made such a lasting impression on me that I decided to stay for so long, then why didn't I remember my first day, I wondered
When I thought about it, I couldn't even remember how to use the door
I know it opens somehow. Perhaps out? Or maybe in? Do they go both ways? Perhaps...
But I was very uncertain
And so I was afraid to leave
Now, bear in mind, I wasn't even at the door
This was still up in the spire of the castle, some 3 miles up from the ground
So high up was the castle that I would look down to view the clouds
Now, correct me if I'm wrong dear reader, but I'm quite certain that you, outside the castle, generally look up to see clouds
But still, I wanted to leave
Perhaps if I just wander around for a bit, it'll jog my memory and I'll be able to get out I pondered uproariously. Eventually I found some stairs
Some went down, some went up, some gave the impression of going up, but merely went around in circles staying on the same level
Now you see, here was my reasoning, if the clouds were down and I wanted them to be up, then perhaps I should go down
Clouds down = me up. Me up = clouds down
So down the stairs I went.
After a long while of walking I came across a toad sitting on the steps
He was a portly fellow dressed in a nice suit and wearing a puff little white wig on his head
"How do you do?" I said to the toad
"Oh I'm quite fine" he said, "Are you here for the dinner party?"
Not wanting to appear rude - for this particular toad looked to be a very well-to-do socialite - and not wanting to appear ignorant - for what well-to-do socialite throws parties no one knows about? - I decided to tell a fib
"Yes. Yes I am here for the party" I said
Or should I say, "fibbed"
"Right this way" the well-to-do toad with the white, puff ball hat said to me
And he lead me into a room off the stairs
It was quite odd, I'd never seen this room before. It was quite lavish indeed, furnished with the most exotic of furnitures
There was a chair that look like a mushroom, except the cap had a dent in it for one to sit themselves in
The table appeared to be some sort of giant thermostat laid on its side
"Oh that" said the Toad, "Yes, that actually is a thermostat. And a table. The knob doubles as a lazy susan, but as you spin it around the temperature of the room changes"
The walls were a particularly nice touch as well
You had to keep your eyes on the walls, because as soon as you looked away the wallpaper would turn into the floorpaper and a new wallpaper would be on the wall
However, most captivating of all the elements in the room were the corpses strewn all about
One gentlemen sat in the mushroom chair, a phone protruding from his eyeball, a look of absolute anger across his face
The toad quickly jogged over to the man and hung up a speech bubble, "PUT ALL MY SHARES INTO THE RAILROADS" it read
meanwhile, over at the thermostat table, a horribly dead ruckus appeared to be taking place
some guests had been eaten while others, were merely slumped over in their chairs
"THE FLESH HAS BEEN POISONED" read one speech bubble
By the wall paper sat a lone woman, she said nothing, save for the dew resting on her cheek, as though it had left on a trip from her eyeball and then forgot where it was going midway
Maybe it needed some eggs at the supermarket, I thought
"No," said the toad, "Definitely milk"
"Yes, yes" I agreed, "Definitely milk"
The toad invited me to stay a while longer, but it was time to be heading back
It was dark back on the stairs
Must be nighttime I thought. I was feeling a bit of a nap coming on as well.
I began to head back up to my room
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll leave.