Mrs. Rabinowitz
Every now and again I think to myself how cool it would be to be that guy who runs in at the last second of a wedding ceremony to steal away the bride. However, I feel like this is one of those things that could easily go horribly wrong as well.
PRIEST: If anyone has any reasons as to why these two should not get married, speak now or forever hold you peace. *pause* You may-
ME: Stop! Stooooooop! Elaine, I love you! ELAINE! ELAIIIIIIIIINE!!!
ELAINE: Chris what are you doing here???
ME: Elaine, I love you.
ELAINE: Look, we had some really great times, really we did, but I don't want to marry you. I want to marry- *she looks longingly into the bastard's eyes* -him.
RELATIVES: *muttering* who's this stupid jerk?
(also, chuckles come from off screen)
Or maybe that's all just because I finished watching The Graduate. Whatever the case, it's very unlikely that I would ever find myself in one of these "wedding" situations, because I lack the drive for it. Realistically things would pan out in a sadder fashion.
ME: You're, breaking up with me?
ELAINE: Basically, yeah. While the sex was mind blowing, I just don't think we're cut out for each other.
ME: Ok, I guess I- Wait, "basically"? What the hell is that suppose to mean? *addressing the camera* Because isn't that just irritating when people say "basically", completely superfluously? I have a bit of a problem with it myself, but at least I'm working on it. Oh man, remember when people used to say that all the time back in younger school?
'LAINE: Yeah, I guess you're right, "basically" is a bit superfluous. What I meant to say was, "actually."
ME: But I love you.
LAME: It's over.
ME: Fine...
At this point I figure I would retire to my room for a good pouting session. Weeping can come along too.