Musings
A well-intentioned person told me today that I should look into other job opportunities before I decide to teach middle/high school full-time because "I have so much potential". While that's a really nice comment, the underlying statement is that by teaching I am somehow wasting my potential. It hurts to think that could be true. In truth, I don't think that. I just worry everyone else will. But why do I care about "everyone else"? I only have to answer to myself. I think anyone who really knows me would understand my rationale behind that decision.
The fact is I'm a damn good educator. I have much to learn about teaching one group of kids for an entire year, but I KNOW I could do it.
"You only have one life, so life it to the fullest" wasn't meant to paralyze you with fear that you would somehow miss something.
I wish I could hug people who are long gone - people who always made the world seem right even at its worst.
A house won't fulfill me, but maybe people won't think I'm failure.
I will never tell my children they will do something great with their lives. I will tell them they will have a great life if they do something they enjoy.
I don't write anymore and I miss it. I used to be more eloquent that this. And as long as I'm confessing things...I'm scared to die. I don't know what happens anymore and I miss the days when it seemed so obvious. But I haven't found a balance between religion and thought. I'm scared everyone in the church will hate me because I like to ask questions, so I'd just rather not go.
It's hard for me to tell if I'm making a decision because it's truly the right one, because it's the easy one or because it's the safer one. I suppose when it comes down to it, I don't trust myself to be challenged. I tried that once and it didn't work out so well. Then again, I'm never sure if I'm making a decision to avoid a challenge, or to tackle a challenge I'd rather conquer. "I'd rather be on the bottom rung of a ladder I want to climb, than the top of one I don't."
I love my husband and my dog. My dog is bad ass. So is my husband for that matter. If my family makes me happiest, doesn't it make sense to focus my career goals around my family, not vice versa? The world is so backwards sometimes. I'm just scared I'll get tired of explaining myself.
The fact is I'm a damn good educator. I have much to learn about teaching one group of kids for an entire year, but I KNOW I could do it.
"You only have one life, so life it to the fullest" wasn't meant to paralyze you with fear that you would somehow miss something.
I wish I could hug people who are long gone - people who always made the world seem right even at its worst.
A house won't fulfill me, but maybe people won't think I'm failure.
I will never tell my children they will do something great with their lives. I will tell them they will have a great life if they do something they enjoy.
I don't write anymore and I miss it. I used to be more eloquent that this. And as long as I'm confessing things...I'm scared to die. I don't know what happens anymore and I miss the days when it seemed so obvious. But I haven't found a balance between religion and thought. I'm scared everyone in the church will hate me because I like to ask questions, so I'd just rather not go.
It's hard for me to tell if I'm making a decision because it's truly the right one, because it's the easy one or because it's the safer one. I suppose when it comes down to it, I don't trust myself to be challenged. I tried that once and it didn't work out so well. Then again, I'm never sure if I'm making a decision to avoid a challenge, or to tackle a challenge I'd rather conquer. "I'd rather be on the bottom rung of a ladder I want to climb, than the top of one I don't."
I love my husband and my dog. My dog is bad ass. So is my husband for that matter. If my family makes me happiest, doesn't it make sense to focus my career goals around my family, not vice versa? The world is so backwards sometimes. I'm just scared I'll get tired of explaining myself.