Nothing is Fact
Midnight
the fact that it is midnight
the fact that you can hear me crying in the dark
but are only so aware
can only reach an arm out
and slur your words with “whats wrong?”
The fact that I burst into tears because I know you cant really hear me
you never really hear me
nevermind
you hear me
you just don’t believe me
the fact that it takes me to the point of breaking down
to get you to behave for a couple weeks
before you remember
that your own selfish intentions are more important
the fact that I spend all day waiting to see you, to talk to you, to smell you
and you spend all day drinking
the fact that you lie
and when I find you out
what makes it worse
is that you don’t even deny it
you just act like im in the wrong for caring that you lied
the fact that I want to believe im in the wrong
the fact that I know I can only write when I hurt
and you are causing that hurt
im suppose to speak to you when it hurts
but you can only reach out and slur your words.....
I cant call anyone
cause I don’t want them to know
I want then to love you
cause I love you
I want this to be between you and me
but “you and me” becomes me alone
at midnight
and you cant even reach out anymore....or slur your words
you cant communicate
the fact that I have to check your pulse to know you are still breathing
and wake up several times a night to guide you
call you to feed you
the fact that I know your phone is set to vibrate
because it doesnt fucking occur to you that I might call
it doesnt fucking occur to you to check that I called
I look at my phone every hour, hoping
hoping that you might call
call, for no reason at all
sound like a fool
complete full sentenses
not slur your words
convince me its worth all the hope
the time
the money
the worries
the memories
something
to know im not just an acessory
or rather...an enabler
you love me because I enable
if I were to take away your drug
would you still love me?
The fact that I know the answer to these questions
and that is why my eyes burn
the fact that it has been fifteen minutes
and I am already prepared to repair this dam
to fill in the cracks with a sedative
a temporary solution
anything, anything to stop feeling guilty
for writing
while you are sleeping
barely reaching out, while I am crying
sluring your words....
the fact that it is midnight
the fact that you can hear me crying in the dark
but are only so aware
can only reach an arm out
and slur your words with “whats wrong?”
The fact that I burst into tears because I know you cant really hear me
you never really hear me
nevermind
you hear me
you just don’t believe me
the fact that it takes me to the point of breaking down
to get you to behave for a couple weeks
before you remember
that your own selfish intentions are more important
the fact that I spend all day waiting to see you, to talk to you, to smell you
and you spend all day drinking
the fact that you lie
and when I find you out
what makes it worse
is that you don’t even deny it
you just act like im in the wrong for caring that you lied
the fact that I want to believe im in the wrong
the fact that I know I can only write when I hurt
and you are causing that hurt
im suppose to speak to you when it hurts
but you can only reach out and slur your words.....
I cant call anyone
cause I don’t want them to know
I want then to love you
cause I love you
I want this to be between you and me
but “you and me” becomes me alone
at midnight
and you cant even reach out anymore....or slur your words
you cant communicate
the fact that I have to check your pulse to know you are still breathing
and wake up several times a night to guide you
call you to feed you
the fact that I know your phone is set to vibrate
because it doesnt fucking occur to you that I might call
it doesnt fucking occur to you to check that I called
I look at my phone every hour, hoping
hoping that you might call
call, for no reason at all
sound like a fool
complete full sentenses
not slur your words
convince me its worth all the hope
the time
the money
the worries
the memories
something
to know im not just an acessory
or rather...an enabler
you love me because I enable
if I were to take away your drug
would you still love me?
The fact that I know the answer to these questions
and that is why my eyes burn
the fact that it has been fifteen minutes
and I am already prepared to repair this dam
to fill in the cracks with a sedative
a temporary solution
anything, anything to stop feeling guilty
for writing
while you are sleeping
barely reaching out, while I am crying
sluring your words....