who knew we would end up like this....

[consumerwh0r]

A friend called tonight to let me know that the cancer he thought he was going to die of was now showing signs of being treatable. The most touching aspect of this phone call was that he was sobbing from the moment he asked to talk to me until the moment he started to joke around and make us both laugh. He told me about his aggressive verbal behaviour lately towards those around him and I commented that it's his turn to "grab life by the ears and fuck it doggy style." He responded by implying that he was even beyond that kind of need for vengeance. At this point he just wanted the confusion to stop, he just wanted to live or he just wanted to die. And to think there are those of us around who think we walk around with that choice day to day. I couldn't even imagine when that choice is out of your hands, and that the only thing left you have to decide is whether or not you're going to loose your mind in the process. As of two days ago he hadn't been able to use his right arm, and the litle bit of hope that intervened in his life was when he woke up to find that the arm had moved on its' own. He ran to his doctors and they did some tests to discover that, beating all the odds, the cancer was reseding. He has now gone from being asked to pick up toothpicks, to handling 5 pound weights. When he tells me about the toothpicks he is in hysterics, when he tells me about the weights he is in tears.
I love him so much for surviving, it would have been selfish for him not to.