Letter to Anyone
Dear Penelope,
There are so many things I want to tell you, so many things I haven't got a clue how to say. I look at you and I wonder where to even start trying. Do I tell you that you're beautiful, and you always will be, even though you may never believe this? Do I tell you that you are the best thing that's ever happened to me, that every time I wake up to find you sleeping beside me, I wonder if I'm still dreaming?
You're laughing by now, I'm sure. You don't think you are in any way special, and I don't know how to convince you otherwise. I've never in my life known anyone less ordinary, sweetheart.
Then again, I don't know what someone like you sees in an old wreck like me. The last time I said that, you smacked me upside the head. All things considered, I'm just glad you didn't hex me. Alright, alright, stop glaring at me, lass. I know you didn't smack me for that, you smacked me for saying you deserved someone younger, with a few more original parts. I deserved to get hit for that, and I'm sorry. I promise I won't say it again. I know you're happy here with me, and that you don't want to be anywhere else. That's perfectly fine with me.
I don't know that I've ever told you how proud I am of you. You may say I'm biased, and I could be, a bit. Doesn't change much, though. When you spend three years or more teaching a student everything you know, working some of the most powerful magic known to our kind, objectivity flies out the window. It's got to, because if you're that distant from your apprentice that you can remain totally objective about them, you're never going to be close enough to do what has to be done. There are things I simply wouldn't have been able to teach you if we hadn't been so close.
Every Auror who takes an apprentice, and takes that seriously, can't possibly remain objective about them. Anyone who says different is either lying, or a fool. Or both.
So when I tell you, as your teacher, that I'm proud of you, I want you to believe that. You mastered the lessons I set for you, learned everything I had to teach you, and then some. You have your badge because I know you're ready for it, and the Council knows you're ready for it. I can't for one minute forget how much I love you, but all that means here is that I was going to make damn sure you were ready before I sent you out there on your own.
That, I think, is what hurts the most about all of this- that I can't go with you. I know you wanted me to, and I wish it were possible, but it's not. In the field, you need a partner who can keep up with you physically, one who won't slow you down. All the wishing and hoping in the world won't make me that person. I'm not going to be winning any foot races, lass, and you need someone who can.
I hate that. I hate not being there with you. I don't trust anyone else to watch your back the way I would. But I trust you. I trust you to remember what you learned, to look after yourself, and to be wise enough not to go out without a partner you know you can count on.
I wish it could be me. More than you'll ever know, I wish it could be me.
But since it can't be... just make sure you bring yourself safely home again. I'll always be there waiting.
I love you, Penelope.
Alastor
Muse: Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
Fandom: Harry Potter
Words: 637