Adventure Tiemz!
Dad has been on Pa to write down our morning adventures. No one would ever think that a simple walk would be so adventuresome! But they are wrong. Walks are Big Adventure.
Today was no exception. Pa has not felt good. Dad says that he has rocks in his kidneys and they make him very cranky and not very active. So, being a magnanimous Princess, I let him sleep in until 8:30. This was very nice of me, because he went to bed at 3:30. Bad Pa, don't you know night is for sleeping and day is for being awake?
He had a surprise for me this morning. A brand new Halti! It is bright red, and shows up very nice against my shiny black coat. But it sort of clashes with my cherrybud pink collar. Stupid Pa, doesn't he know a girl needs to MATCH?
I was very excited to get up and go. So much so that I could not hold still while he put on his clothes. Silly Pa, doesn't he know that all the clothes you need to go into public are a collar, a bandana, and a Halti? Pa thinks differently, and puts on his undershirt, and his underwear, and his sweatshirt, and his sweatpants. I could go back to sleep waiting for him to get his shoes on!
We headed out, and I got a few sniffs in, before we got to our first corner. Simple, normal old walk. We said hello to neighbors, I sniffed some cat-poop, I was nice enough to NOT roll in some grodie old watermelon rind. We turned the corner. A white station wagon came screaming around the corner directly toward us. They did not go straight! I lept out of the way, and Pa flailed and windmilled and tumbled head over butt and landed on his back. It was a very nice somersault! He was not happy! He has scrapes and bruises. But I helped. I pulled away from him and ran out of the way of the car, but then I ran RIGHT back, with my head low, so Pa would know that I wasn't running away from HIM, and then he told me 'Steady' and I stood strong and still so he could get up off the road! You know what I think? I think that lady /tried to run us over/! Pa thought so too, but he made sure nothing was broken, and picked himself up and bravely went on with our walk!
Nothing more exciting happened as we went past the first road. We crossed lazily. I sniffed a cedar tree with so many trunks it looks like a monster. Especially in the dark, but in the day I see it is NOT a dog-eating monster, it is just a tree. Silly tree, don't you know you're supposed to be a tree and not a monster?
We crossed the second street, and I got very excited. I could hear WEIRD noises! What were these weird noises!? Pa didn't notice; I think Pa is very deaf.
We turned the second corner, and I heard the noises MORE, but being a lady of discretion, I sniffed, and said hello to the little yellow lab who is my friend. He is VERY shy and submisses and pees on himself every time we say hello. I think he is weird, but he is a friend, so I accept his weirdness. I watched as the Big Fat Grey Cat who does not like me crossed the road, and then we got to the First Big Crossing. It is a very busy street, and there is a hill just a block away from where we cross, and people are not very careful. They will almost run you over! We waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, a very nice black truck stopped, and we were able to cross...in a hurry! Someone honked at the nice black truck for being nice! Silly people, don't you know that politeness counts!
Down the sidewalk we went, when I noticed the weird sound again. I kept looking at Pa. Pa, don't YOU hear the weird sounds? I hear the weird sounds. They are thumps, and they are bumps, and they are tearing sounds. Someone's having a LOT of fun! And that's when I saw it: there was a man on a roof, tearing up the roof! PA! Pa! There's a man on the roof, and he's chewing it up! Weird man, don't you know you aren't a bird? Only Rotties can tear things up PROPERLY! I could HELP! I started levitating! High in the air, then higher, then highest! When I jump /really/ high, my tail is on a level with Pa's head! I jump really well too! Pa just laughed and told me he'd seen the man way back before. Pa, why didn't you TELL me you could SEE! I thought you were deaf!
The third corner, it was not so interesting at first. Until we got to the end of the street. Hannah the black labramutt barked at us until her owner made her go back in, and I trotted by with my head in the air, on my VERY best behavior, so they could see how a lady SHOULD act! Then it happened! A cute little puppy ran out and ran across the street! He was very cute, and very very short. Pa says he's called a 'corgi', and he was VERY fun. He danced around my feet, and I danced back! Pa laughed a lot, and tried to catch him to see his collar and tag, when I heard a little giggle. I looked up. The puppy looked up. Pa looked up. There was a stray baby that belonged to the puppy! I was SO happy! I jumped up and down in place, higher and higher and the puppy ran to his baby! Pa was very shocked. "He's too little to be away from his mamma!" Naw, I thought. The puppy is big enough to go home with his people! He doesn't need his mamma anymore. Seems that Pa meant the human baby, who was very short, and very pale, and was wearing a diaper and a pair of shoes. But there was nothing to worry about. There was a yelp from the house across the street where Oofty and Goofty live (I will tell you about Oofty and Goofty later), and a young woman came running out! Oh. The human baby was HER baby. And so was the puppy! Yay! There's the mamma! She was very happy that Pa had found the puppy. And the baby. I licked the baby in the face a few times before she could pick him up. She was very scared, my very smart nose could tell! "He let himself out of the house!" She pointed to the house; it had a BIG door and a LOT of steps! "With the puppy!" Pa just laughed, and made sure she had puppy and baby and then we went on. Oofty and Goofty barked at us, but just a little. Usually they bark a lot. We turned the fourth corner, and headed home! It had been a very big adventure today! Near Death Adventures, scary monsters, men who think they are birds, and lost puppies (and babies)! What a day.
I came home, and did my business (ladies do not do business outside of the yard, no matter what Dad and Pa think...stoopidheads), and had some pool-water, and came inside, and had some bowl-water and breakfast, and now, I am going to bed. Cause you know, I dictated this to Pa. He can have some breakfast and get about his day now! See? Cause he needed me to wake him up and take him for an adventure!
Today was no exception. Pa has not felt good. Dad says that he has rocks in his kidneys and they make him very cranky and not very active. So, being a magnanimous Princess, I let him sleep in until 8:30. This was very nice of me, because he went to bed at 3:30. Bad Pa, don't you know night is for sleeping and day is for being awake?
He had a surprise for me this morning. A brand new Halti! It is bright red, and shows up very nice against my shiny black coat. But it sort of clashes with my cherrybud pink collar. Stupid Pa, doesn't he know a girl needs to MATCH?
I was very excited to get up and go. So much so that I could not hold still while he put on his clothes. Silly Pa, doesn't he know that all the clothes you need to go into public are a collar, a bandana, and a Halti? Pa thinks differently, and puts on his undershirt, and his underwear, and his sweatshirt, and his sweatpants. I could go back to sleep waiting for him to get his shoes on!
We headed out, and I got a few sniffs in, before we got to our first corner. Simple, normal old walk. We said hello to neighbors, I sniffed some cat-poop, I was nice enough to NOT roll in some grodie old watermelon rind. We turned the corner. A white station wagon came screaming around the corner directly toward us. They did not go straight! I lept out of the way, and Pa flailed and windmilled and tumbled head over butt and landed on his back. It was a very nice somersault! He was not happy! He has scrapes and bruises. But I helped. I pulled away from him and ran out of the way of the car, but then I ran RIGHT back, with my head low, so Pa would know that I wasn't running away from HIM, and then he told me 'Steady' and I stood strong and still so he could get up off the road! You know what I think? I think that lady /tried to run us over/! Pa thought so too, but he made sure nothing was broken, and picked himself up and bravely went on with our walk!
Nothing more exciting happened as we went past the first road. We crossed lazily. I sniffed a cedar tree with so many trunks it looks like a monster. Especially in the dark, but in the day I see it is NOT a dog-eating monster, it is just a tree. Silly tree, don't you know you're supposed to be a tree and not a monster?
We crossed the second street, and I got very excited. I could hear WEIRD noises! What were these weird noises!? Pa didn't notice; I think Pa is very deaf.
We turned the second corner, and I heard the noises MORE, but being a lady of discretion, I sniffed, and said hello to the little yellow lab who is my friend. He is VERY shy and submisses and pees on himself every time we say hello. I think he is weird, but he is a friend, so I accept his weirdness. I watched as the Big Fat Grey Cat who does not like me crossed the road, and then we got to the First Big Crossing. It is a very busy street, and there is a hill just a block away from where we cross, and people are not very careful. They will almost run you over! We waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, a very nice black truck stopped, and we were able to cross...in a hurry! Someone honked at the nice black truck for being nice! Silly people, don't you know that politeness counts!
Down the sidewalk we went, when I noticed the weird sound again. I kept looking at Pa. Pa, don't YOU hear the weird sounds? I hear the weird sounds. They are thumps, and they are bumps, and they are tearing sounds. Someone's having a LOT of fun! And that's when I saw it: there was a man on a roof, tearing up the roof! PA! Pa! There's a man on the roof, and he's chewing it up! Weird man, don't you know you aren't a bird? Only Rotties can tear things up PROPERLY! I could HELP! I started levitating! High in the air, then higher, then highest! When I jump /really/ high, my tail is on a level with Pa's head! I jump really well too! Pa just laughed and told me he'd seen the man way back before. Pa, why didn't you TELL me you could SEE! I thought you were deaf!
The third corner, it was not so interesting at first. Until we got to the end of the street. Hannah the black labramutt barked at us until her owner made her go back in, and I trotted by with my head in the air, on my VERY best behavior, so they could see how a lady SHOULD act! Then it happened! A cute little puppy ran out and ran across the street! He was very cute, and very very short. Pa says he's called a 'corgi', and he was VERY fun. He danced around my feet, and I danced back! Pa laughed a lot, and tried to catch him to see his collar and tag, when I heard a little giggle. I looked up. The puppy looked up. Pa looked up. There was a stray baby that belonged to the puppy! I was SO happy! I jumped up and down in place, higher and higher and the puppy ran to his baby! Pa was very shocked. "He's too little to be away from his mamma!" Naw, I thought. The puppy is big enough to go home with his people! He doesn't need his mamma anymore. Seems that Pa meant the human baby, who was very short, and very pale, and was wearing a diaper and a pair of shoes. But there was nothing to worry about. There was a yelp from the house across the street where Oofty and Goofty live (I will tell you about Oofty and Goofty later), and a young woman came running out! Oh. The human baby was HER baby. And so was the puppy! Yay! There's the mamma! She was very happy that Pa had found the puppy. And the baby. I licked the baby in the face a few times before she could pick him up. She was very scared, my very smart nose could tell! "He let himself out of the house!" She pointed to the house; it had a BIG door and a LOT of steps! "With the puppy!" Pa just laughed, and made sure she had puppy and baby and then we went on. Oofty and Goofty barked at us, but just a little. Usually they bark a lot. We turned the fourth corner, and headed home! It had been a very big adventure today! Near Death Adventures, scary monsters, men who think they are birds, and lost puppies (and babies)! What a day.
I came home, and did my business (ladies do not do business outside of the yard, no matter what Dad and Pa think...stoopidheads), and had some pool-water, and came inside, and had some bowl-water and breakfast, and now, I am going to bed. Cause you know, I dictated this to Pa. He can have some breakfast and get about his day now! See? Cause he needed me to wake him up and take him for an adventure!