spring cleaning and reorganizing in the brain
Things are good. Things are really good. I was expecting to be miserable, miserable-r, whatever, and I'm just. . .I'm not. I'm pretty okay.
I've been seeing friends a lot more than usual, though whether that's a symptom or a cause of feeling-better I can't say. Both, maybe.
I spent most of today with people I like who care about me a lot, talking and taking really stupid pictures and planning new things. We punched each other a bit too, but it was all in good fun. Punching is actually really fun when it's not trees you're punching. You don't hurt your fingers. I had forgotten.
I think I'm probably going to look back on this month very fondly. I did a lot of things my future self will probably still like later. I can't say that about a lot of last year.
I realized recently that I really like writing Livejournal posts. It feels like writing a letter. I'm not really sure who the letter is to. Maybe it's to my future self. Hopefully they won't think I'm too much of an idiot.
Things were very long lately. They don't feel that way now. I'm not really sure how I feel. I guess I just have a lot more hope than I did before. So that's good.
I think I'm going to take a break from relationships for a while. I have a lot of really great friends who I barely see enough. I'd rather focus on spending time with them for a while. Friends are enough. I don't need love to be happy. I don't need sex either. I think. Either way, it feels like a very animal desire, and I have this really strong tendency to reject anything that feels animal within me.
I feel very young. I have a lot left to learn about the world and I cannot wait to learn it.
I miss the farmer's market. My town has a really good farmer's market. I want to go there and get bread and cheese and fresh fruits and eat them outdoors somewhere.
I've been seeing friends a lot more than usual, though whether that's a symptom or a cause of feeling-better I can't say. Both, maybe.
I spent most of today with people I like who care about me a lot, talking and taking really stupid pictures and planning new things. We punched each other a bit too, but it was all in good fun. Punching is actually really fun when it's not trees you're punching. You don't hurt your fingers. I had forgotten.
I think I'm probably going to look back on this month very fondly. I did a lot of things my future self will probably still like later. I can't say that about a lot of last year.
I realized recently that I really like writing Livejournal posts. It feels like writing a letter. I'm not really sure who the letter is to. Maybe it's to my future self. Hopefully they won't think I'm too much of an idiot.
Things were very long lately. They don't feel that way now. I'm not really sure how I feel. I guess I just have a lot more hope than I did before. So that's good.
I think I'm going to take a break from relationships for a while. I have a lot of really great friends who I barely see enough. I'd rather focus on spending time with them for a while. Friends are enough. I don't need love to be happy. I don't need sex either. I think. Either way, it feels like a very animal desire, and I have this really strong tendency to reject anything that feels animal within me.
I feel very young. I have a lot left to learn about the world and I cannot wait to learn it.
I miss the farmer's market. My town has a really good farmer's market. I want to go there and get bread and cheese and fresh fruits and eat them outdoors somewhere.