We're just like dynamite...blowin' up all night
[Continued from here]
The way he fills me, presses into me and stops this aching that I have inside me. Even if it's for a moment it's just what I need, what I crave right now.
"God... yeah, like that..." I rock my hips slowly and with determined movements against his hips, feeling him gasp and arch with each circle of my hips. Nothing about this ( Read more... )
The way he fills me, presses into me and stops this aching that I have inside me. Even if it's for a moment it's just what I need, what I crave right now.
"God... yeah, like that..." I rock my hips slowly and with determined movements against his hips, feeling him gasp and arch with each circle of my hips. Nothing about this ( Read more... )
My heart is pounding with the rhythm of our bodies moving together, each wicked little twist of her hips sending spirals of hot pleasure coursing through me until I'm panting, but her words still make me grin. "Fuck, yes," I gasp, my hand tangling in her hair as she leans in closer. "Baby, I know you are."
Now passionate words and lust-fueled sentiments whispered in the heat of the moment aren't necessarily supposed to make sense, but it's true. She's dangerous because I'd do damn near anything she asked of me right now. Whatever she wanted, whatever she needed from me, just to keep her around a little bit longer.
"Harder."
That I can do. Her tongue against my neck is driving me wild, despite my denial of that particular quirk.
"Dangerous, deadly...never know what's around the corner for you baby...could be more than you bargained for..."
She's got me under her thumb and she knows it, teasing me, playing my secret desires like a well-tuned instrument. I'm left murmuring nonsense, half-begging her not to stop, and hoping everything she says is true. I'd planned on losing myself tonight, one way or another, and this is a downright sweet alternative to drinking myself blind.
Meeting her eyes, which are glowing again in the weird light from the street, I slip my thumb into my mouth for a moment before dragging it down from her navel to the soft curls below, finding her clit and circling it slowly before pressing hard enough to make her gasp and tighten around me. So fucking tight... I'm shuddering and groaning under her, lingering at the point of no return, just needing that little bit more to drive me over the edge. "Please, baby ... I need you..."
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"Please, baby ... I need you..."
"Gonna give you what you want Lindsey, promise." I whisper, dragging my tongue across his throat and wrapping myself around him, keeping him to me as I let my fangs finally slip out. "Going to make you see stars, sweet rattlesnake..." I murmur, licking my fangs and then his skin again, rocking my hips hard and deep against him and wanting him to get pleasure out of this.
I press my lips against his ear and utter a soft plea that could only be taken as a command. "Come." With that I sunk my fangs into his neck, his blood flowing over my tongue and down my throat, the taste of his blood was so thick and strong that I came instantly. My eyes rolled back and I kept myself to him as I felt him start to shudder beneath me, desperate to keep rational thought in my bliss because I didn't want to kill him; just taking what I need...
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But she leans forward, drags her tongue over my pulse point like a cat, and then everything gets confusing.
The sudden unexpected burn of white-hot pain hits me hard, my body already overloading with so much intense pleasure, and my hips snap up against her as the climax rolls through me. I come hard, stifling a scream through clenched teeth, my thoughts not even close to catching up. What feels good and what hurts combine into one powerful wave of sensation; I might've cursed, or cried out her name. There's a low, sick, muffled sound like someone swallowing, again and again, under the thump of my heart in my ears.
"Wh... what are you... Tara?"
I'm dizzy and trembling, my body coming down from the high, everything that was burning going cold and numb. Something's not right. I push at her weakly, horrified at the lack of strength in my limbs. "Please, sweetheart ... can't breathe." I blink hard to clear my vision, my fingers and lips starting to tingle like I've...
Like I've lost a lot of blood.
Oh, fuck.
"Get off!" I slur, shoving at her harder now, knowing that it's way too late to fight. I'm already too weak. You fucking idiot! "Oh fuck... please, don't..." The bite is burning now, even as everything else is going grey and blurry, edging into darkness.
My own damn fault. Always knew a pretty blonde would be the death of me.
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I hear him mutter softly, the feel of his heart pounding in my ears setting me on fire, my hips rock faster against his as I feel myself milk him for everything he has. Not just between my thighs, but my fangs as well. It must be the marks on his chest that make the blood inside him taste that much sweeter, more intoxicating. I can't seem to get enough of him, I just want to make him come and bring him pleasure like his blood gives me.
"Please, sweetheart ... can't breathe."
The want and need for him burns inside me, the demon inside getting the edge I keep denying it and I feel my fingers dig into his shoulders, pressing my nude body to his and drinking slowly, pulling my fangs out finally to clean his wound.
"Get off! Oh fuck... please, don't..."
His body goes limp as I lap his mark up gently, moving my body against his and feeling his ink burn into my skin, the heat of his body warming me like his blood. I slowly lap closed the wound on his neck and it takes me longer than I would have liked to notice that he isn't responding under me anymore.
I pull back and look down at him, he's pailer then I planned and I can't help but panic. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I feel my eyes well up and I franticly move around the room, wrapping the sheet around me as I glance over at him. His heartbeat is slow and faint but it's still there and I move back over to him, pulling the sheet up to him and making sure the wound stopped bleeding.
This game isn't for me, I shouldn't be doing things like this, it's not safe for me and I can't do this. Maybe Spike was right and I did need him. No, it's my own fault for not going right to Angel when I got to town, had him help me, or stake me.
Running my fingers through my hair I whimper slowly, the blood in my veins burning and making me crave more, not less, and I could feel that the sun was up. Everything was trapping me in here with him and I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to have to face what I did; I couldn't.
I wrapped the sheet around me tighter and made my way into the bathroom, thinking I could hide there. Glancing at the mirror only made me slip more than slightly off reality and I soon found myself huddled in the darkest corner of the room, tears streaming down my face as I tried to keep my grip on everything, and an ear out to ensure Lindsey's heartbeat. Even if that sound alone was madening now.
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Healthy attachments, Lindsey, Holland chides, loosening his blood-soaked necktie with a grimace. Do you believe in love? I'd shake my head 'no', but my throat hurts too much.
Grey eyes darken into brown, shadows melting together into a long black coat. "You were supposed to do it," I rasp accusingly. He shakes his head, lifts the scythe... when I open my eyes again, he's gone, and she's laughing at me.
"Cold," I whisper, my body aching with it. She rolls her eyes, flicks her hair back. Whose fault is that? I glare at her and she only laughs harder. If I'd known you wanted me this badly, Lindsey, I would've come back for dessert. She rushes at me; golden-haired demon with a gaping mouth.
This time, when I force my eyes open, I find myself alone in the room, trembling with weakness and cold. It's almost a relief. Shifting slightly, a sliver of sunlight pouring in through a tear in the blind leaves me blinking. Oh god. She can't get out! She's still in here with me. I fumble over the edge of the bed for my jeans, pulling them on and laboriously struggling to my feet. Everything spins. Hello, floor. Standing was a crappy plan anyway.
Crawling to my jacket, I find the small crucifix tucked away in the inner pocket, before pushing myself to my knees to look around the place. If I was a vampire, where would I be? The closet is a likely guess, although risky if some stubborn ex-lawyer with a death wish just happened to pull the door open and let the sunlight flood in. The bathroom, however, hasn't got a window. Gritting my teeth, I shove myself to my feet again, using the wall for support as I lurch towards the bathroom door.
"Fee, fie, foe, fum," I mutter. "You picked the wrong fucking mark to make a midnight snack out of, sweetheart." I swing the door open so hard that it hits the wall with a bang. My numb fingers locked tight around the crucifix, I'm blinking hard and praying for my vision to adjust to the darkness fast.
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The door slammed open and I looked up with wide bloodshot eyes, tears still running down my face as his blood made a wet noise in my ears. The want and desire for it was eating at me again and I didn't know what to do. "Should have finished you off." I spat, fisting my hand in my hair and shaking my head. "Couldn't, didn't want to. Can't. Won't. Oh god." I slowly slid down to the floor, knowing that even if he was weak that I wasn't able to fight him off, I didn't know how to fight and this is how I was going to end. Huddled and crying in a corner, soul and demon ripping me apart from the inside.
"Punished little girls, little girls who disobey their Daddy's get hurt. S-shouldn't have left. Shouldn't have come to the Angelic city for the fallen Angel...can't help, won't help. Beyond redemption." I sobbed into my hands, trying to get a grip on myself and everything that was spinning out of control. "...s-so lost...I can't tell what's what any more, I can't tell up from down...little girl lost...s-so lost...I don't want to be lost anymore..." Swallowing I looked up, standing and pressing myself against the wall again and look into Lindsey's eyes.
"Do it." I whispered, trying to sound hard and cold, not scared like I felt. "Just do it Lindsey..." Please.
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Right?
"Punished little girls, little girls who disobey their Daddy's get hurt. S-shouldn't have left. Shouldn't have come to the Angelic city for the fallen Angel...can't help, won't help. Beyond redemption."
"Wait, rewind a minute here," I insist, my head starting to throb with dizziness again. It's probably a damn good thing we aren't getting into this physically. "Who's hurting you?"
I'm trying to puzzle out her words (Christ, she's as bad a Drusilla right now...) when she suddenly stands up, startling the hell out of me. But she's not attacking. Not even close.
"Do it. Just do it Lindsey..."
I shake my head, my free hand still braced against the door frame to keep me from falling on my ass. "Shut up. If you're not trying to eat me, I won't stake you." She really is falling apart in front of me and the tears on her face are real. "Truce, alright? What the hell's the matter with you?"
Cautiously, I move towards her, the wood of the crucifix biting into my palm. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But there's so much about her that reminds me of Darla, it ain't even funny. "Tara..."
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"I am. I hurt me." He was confused, I could smell it. I could feel it too. Nothing made sense right now, the look on his face made me see that he didn't know what I was saying either. "I'm stuck in the middle, no where to go, unsure who to be. Tired of fighting the war inside."
"Shut up. If you're not trying to eat me, I won't stake you. Truce, alright? What the hell's the matter with you?"
I winced at his words, cringing back and pulling away into the corner again as he stepped closer. "Some vampire you are Tara, never could do anything right. Couldn't even die right, could you." I spat at my non reflection, my fist clenching and coming down hard, blood pouring out of my hand as the mirror shattered. "Can't be w-who I was...don't know what I am. Only know what he made - vampire - and what she wanted - witch. Torn, pulled. Can't...can't think, can't be. Constant war is eating away at me, I can't dig it out. Can't get rid of the demon, can't rid myself of this poison..."
My words were low and muttered, I couldn't get a clear thought and I couldn't think to even bother looking at Lindsey. All I knew was that I had a piece of mirror in my hands.
With slow movemends I watched as if I was outside myself as I made slow cuts along my arm, entranced at the blood the poured from the wounds. "Can't understand, doesn't comprehend. Bleeding, blood. Blood's not mine, borrowed. Borrowed life, borrowed heart. Can't do this, didn't want this. Wanted...I don't know anymore."
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Maybe it was the fact that I was hallucinating about Darla not half an hour earlier, but suddenly I'm back walking into my apartment in the dark, hearing the crunch of broken glass underfoot. All the mirrors a mess of jaded cracks. She can't look in the mirror anymore, not with the soul inside.
"Can't be w-who I was...don't know what I am. Only know what he made - vampire - and what she wanted - witch. Torn, pulled. Can't...can't think, can't be. Constant war is eating away at me, I can't dig it out. Can't get rid of the demon, can't rid myself of this poison..."
"Oh my god," I murmur. I wouldn't have thought it was physically possible to feel any dizzier than I did a moment ago, but I wind up leaning against the counter for support. "There's no way. There's just no way."
"Can't understand, doesn't comprehend. Bleeding, blood. Blood's not mine, borrowed. Borrowed life, borrowed heart. Can't do this, didn't want this. Wanted...I don't know anymore."
She's dragging the broken glass over her skin, the vampiric healing not quick enough to keep the blood from dripping onto the tile. My stomach lurches and I'm stumbling forward to get the glass away from her before I can think of the danger.
Letter openers, staple gun, even ball point pens, anything with a sharp edge, you may want to remove those sorts of items from your office. Just in case. Thanks, Holland. Always with the sage advice.
"Stop it," I growl, wrenching the glass out of her grip, letting it slip from my numb fingers to shatter on the floor. "Listen to me, I need you to calm down, alright? Hey..." There's blood on my hand (hers, formerly mine) but I cup my fingers against the side of her face, forcing her to look at me. She's warm. Of course she is. She just fed. Monster, monster, monster. What am I doing?
But there's something about her eyes. Something haunted that I learned to recognize a few years back, as it tore the girl I loved apart from the inside out.
"You've got a soul, don't you? You're another goddamn vampire with a soul." I can't stop my sudden laughter, blood loss and disbelief making me punchy. "Lilah was right. I'm a magnet."
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The glass is out of my hands and I'm too numb to react; my eyes frantic and trying to look for a way out. The second his hands are touching me I seem to snap out of whatever insane state I was in a second ago. I close my eyes and lean into his hand before opening my eyes to look back at him, his voice soothing me from the inside.
"You've got a soul, don't you? You're another goddamn vampire with a soul. Lilah was right. I'm a magnet."
I blink at him and look at him confused. "Another..." Wait, did that mean he knew Angel... This is getting crazier then I ever thought. "Different." I whispered, looking down and letting my hair fall into my face, the warmth of his hand washing over me. "Never was w-without it, became a demon and the soul stayed." He looked confused but I just shook my head, waiting for another moment to tell him about the spell and everything that happened.
Licking my lips i felt his arms go around me, pulling me to him as I shook slightly. "Lindsey, please." I closed my eyes and picked up the cross with the pointed stake at the bottom from the counter and pressed it against my chest, feeling it burn my skin through the sheet.
I pulled back from his arms and put his hand over the cross as it burned my skin. "Please, I can't. I can't do this. Make it go away." I was pleading and I didn't care at this point, it all just had to stop. I reached up with my other hand and ran it over the bite I'd given him. "I-I'm sorry...I w-wasn't going to and...I couldn't stop and...please. I'm s-sorry, just...just make it all stop. I s-should be punished f-for what I did..." I tightened his hand around the cross and pressed it harder to my skin, the pain shooting through me as I tried to ignore it.
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"I-I'm sorry...I w-wasn't going to and...I couldn't stop and...please. I'm s-sorry, just...just make it all stop. I s-should be punished f-for what I did..." Her fingers sting over the bite mark on my throat and I can't say a word, just shaking my head slowly as she pulls the stake harder against her chest.
What's one vampire? Soul or no soul. The words we whispered in the heat of passion come back to mock me now... she really is dangerous. She tried to warn me, and I'd thought it was all a game.
Yeah. Right. All fun and games until someone gets their throat torn out.
The tip of the stake pierces her flesh and I flinch as she does. It's not really fair. She never even had a chance... nobody should have to live with that kind of torment. And I don't think I could live with myself if I let her disappear into dust without even trying to help her.
"Stop," I tell her firmly, pulling at her hand with all my strength. She's so much stronger than me right now, I won't be able to get the stake away from her unless she let's me. "Tara, stop. I can help you. Just stop a minute and talk with me, alright? We'll get you cleaned up and... and I can try to make it stop hurting."
Don't know why I'm doing this just yet, or how I plan to help her at all, but that quiet neglected whispering of my conscience tells me it's the right thing.
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"Why?" I croaked, letting him pull the stake from my hand, hearing it fall to the floor as the scent of my burnt flesh filled my senses. "I tried to kill you. I shouldn't have t-tried to feed, I don't know w-what I'm doing...I've never..." I feel myself slowly start to give in, to give up all this fighting and I don't know what to do first. "Not strong enough...never was." I've never felt so broken in my entire life.
He pulls the sheet away and I close my eyes, my body limp and weak against him, not caring if he staked me, tossed me in the sunlight or beat me for what I did to him. I feel him guide me over towards the shower, turning the water on hot and brushing my wet hair away from my face.
I blink and realize that his clothes are getting wet as he holds me, trying to wash the blood off of my body and hands, I shake my head and feel the tears start to mix with the shower water. "Don't...I'm not worth it. Please don't. Lindsey." My voice is pleading and I knew that Spike never had the courage to do it, maybe a stranger would. "I can't fight this anymore. Please, it's ok. Please make it stop..."
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