listen to your heart...
so basically i have been avoiding livejournal for the longest time. for jsut the fact that i never wanted to admit what has been going on lately. i mean everything was going awesome, then somehow it dropped to nothing, then picked right up again.
as everyone pretty much knows, im a homewrecker. i have a problem. i become friends with someone and for some reason, i want their boyfriends. it really is an honest problem, where i get jealous. and then, i do whatever it takes to get what i want. i really never realized it until this past month where i had it yelled at me. i really am a horrible person. whatever. thats over with. lifes good.
so, after that whole shit ass situation of hooking up and whatnot, i decided that i really need my friends. i defintely drifted myself from them, and i never realized that i really need them to talk to and just laugh with. we partied the whole vacation and it was so much fun. i really missed them all alot. that puts a smile on my face.
as much as i always say this, my 'church friends' are the most amazing people i have ever met. kristina is like nothing in this world, eddie just got out of the hospital and i have come to realize that he is my little brother, staneck is like my older brother that i can always talk to, quinn ross n graybes are just always there to make fun of me, kristen lauren amy n emily are just insane and i really dont know what i would do without them and anyone else.
especially this past weekend, i needed those people more than ever. so the all nighter was on friday, and i talked to eddie before hand and he needed at ride home at 11 and 5 because he hadda get his medication since it had to go through his IV and whatnot, so i said sure no probelm,and we went there at 11 and chilled while he got his meds till like 12 than we went out to sayville bowling lanes and met up with everyone, and then we started to leave around 1am and eddie got back in my car, and nick was following us, so i realized that i was driving like really fast and the roads were extrememly wet and i t was raining so i slowed down from 75 to 60. thenabout 5 minutes later, i saw all these cars in front of us breaking, a smashed guard rail and then i realized that there was an accident. i had no idea what was going to happen, we were 2 cars from the actual accident, and we just sat there for 15 minutes watching was going on, 3 cops eventually showed up and there was debris EVERYWHERE. so the cop starts shining his light at me, and walks over to my car and said 'i want you to drive on the shoulder, and i want you to drive slow, it'll be okay' and i went 'okay thank you sir' and i started to turn the wheel and drive about 5 mph. so we're driving on the shoulder, and my natural instinct was to look to my left and look at the accident. there was about 6 or 7 smashed caars ans then about 20 feet after that, a body laying next to the other shoulder, and then a smashed mini cooper. the man that was laying there, i have the imagine perfectly burned into my mind, he had one shoe on. i started freaking out, i didnt know what to do. i wasnt sure if i should have laughed, cried, p[ulled over, sit, say nothing, scream, it was the worst feeling in the world, i wasnt sure if i was going to throw up or pass out. eddie kept me calm the whole time, he was so good. so i drove back to the church, and later on nick got there, and he said he saw it too. by the time everyone else got back, they all knew what had happened. i started crying so much. i really just wanted to go home and cry into my pillow and pretend like everything was okay. everytime someone would ask me if i was okay or tried to hug me, i just started to cry. it was horrible.
i ended up hanging around with everyone till i drove eddie home at 5am. i went home and just went to sleep. i got up at 10 and couldnt fall back asleep. i went to work 11 to 3, got my mom some moms day presents, then came home for about an hour, then i left. i couldnt sit around and just think about it. so i picked up kait n kelly and we to ginos for pizza and then to starbucks, dropped kelly off, then went food shopping with mr. mac n kait. i went home to eat dinner and then went to mimis a little later to hang out with her. we went to taco bell, and kate kait n kelly met up and then we went to the 955 of house of wax. sat in there for about 45 min. and got up and left. i wanted to kill myself, i hate scary movies. i sat on the steps and called kristina. lol. dan decided to scare the crap outta me in the parking lot and i wanted to kill him. so then i dropped everyone off, and ran into my house, and sat online for a bit, then went to bed.
woke up this morning in a sweat. i cant get the whole car accident out of my mind. its so horrible. iwent to church, well, i sat in matt n chris's sunday school class and colored pictures. then i went and got gas and then i went home. me mom n dad all got in fights and my mom ended up being the only one going to the ducks game with everyone else from our family. sometimes i dont like myself when i do dumb things to her. ugh. so then i went to work and worked out my whole schedule. they suck. then i went to stanleys, visted kelly, then went home and ate cookies with my dad, and then we went to my aunts house to eat with everyone that went to the ducks game. then i left there, picked up kait n kell and we went to timberpoint w. dj josh dan kurt and quinnsquared. then we left there, and kait went home and me kell hung out at her house, and we ate dinner w. her fam, then kait n mimi came over and we went to friendlys. and here i am. 10pm on a school night. holler.
so im gunna get to bed. good update. still a little shooken up, but i should be good in time, like ive always been told, but never listened to, everything happens for a reason.
<33katie.
ps.http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-lifata084250853may08,0,7856339.story?coll=ny-linews-headlines
thats the article fromt eh car crash. yeah.
as everyone pretty much knows, im a homewrecker. i have a problem. i become friends with someone and for some reason, i want their boyfriends. it really is an honest problem, where i get jealous. and then, i do whatever it takes to get what i want. i really never realized it until this past month where i had it yelled at me. i really am a horrible person. whatever. thats over with. lifes good.
so, after that whole shit ass situation of hooking up and whatnot, i decided that i really need my friends. i defintely drifted myself from them, and i never realized that i really need them to talk to and just laugh with. we partied the whole vacation and it was so much fun. i really missed them all alot. that puts a smile on my face.
as much as i always say this, my 'church friends' are the most amazing people i have ever met. kristina is like nothing in this world, eddie just got out of the hospital and i have come to realize that he is my little brother, staneck is like my older brother that i can always talk to, quinn ross n graybes are just always there to make fun of me, kristen lauren amy n emily are just insane and i really dont know what i would do without them and anyone else.
especially this past weekend, i needed those people more than ever. so the all nighter was on friday, and i talked to eddie before hand and he needed at ride home at 11 and 5 because he hadda get his medication since it had to go through his IV and whatnot, so i said sure no probelm,and we went there at 11 and chilled while he got his meds till like 12 than we went out to sayville bowling lanes and met up with everyone, and then we started to leave around 1am and eddie got back in my car, and nick was following us, so i realized that i was driving like really fast and the roads were extrememly wet and i t was raining so i slowed down from 75 to 60. thenabout 5 minutes later, i saw all these cars in front of us breaking, a smashed guard rail and then i realized that there was an accident. i had no idea what was going to happen, we were 2 cars from the actual accident, and we just sat there for 15 minutes watching was going on, 3 cops eventually showed up and there was debris EVERYWHERE. so the cop starts shining his light at me, and walks over to my car and said 'i want you to drive on the shoulder, and i want you to drive slow, it'll be okay' and i went 'okay thank you sir' and i started to turn the wheel and drive about 5 mph. so we're driving on the shoulder, and my natural instinct was to look to my left and look at the accident. there was about 6 or 7 smashed caars ans then about 20 feet after that, a body laying next to the other shoulder, and then a smashed mini cooper. the man that was laying there, i have the imagine perfectly burned into my mind, he had one shoe on. i started freaking out, i didnt know what to do. i wasnt sure if i should have laughed, cried, p[ulled over, sit, say nothing, scream, it was the worst feeling in the world, i wasnt sure if i was going to throw up or pass out. eddie kept me calm the whole time, he was so good. so i drove back to the church, and later on nick got there, and he said he saw it too. by the time everyone else got back, they all knew what had happened. i started crying so much. i really just wanted to go home and cry into my pillow and pretend like everything was okay. everytime someone would ask me if i was okay or tried to hug me, i just started to cry. it was horrible.
i ended up hanging around with everyone till i drove eddie home at 5am. i went home and just went to sleep. i got up at 10 and couldnt fall back asleep. i went to work 11 to 3, got my mom some moms day presents, then came home for about an hour, then i left. i couldnt sit around and just think about it. so i picked up kait n kelly and we to ginos for pizza and then to starbucks, dropped kelly off, then went food shopping with mr. mac n kait. i went home to eat dinner and then went to mimis a little later to hang out with her. we went to taco bell, and kate kait n kelly met up and then we went to the 955 of house of wax. sat in there for about 45 min. and got up and left. i wanted to kill myself, i hate scary movies. i sat on the steps and called kristina. lol. dan decided to scare the crap outta me in the parking lot and i wanted to kill him. so then i dropped everyone off, and ran into my house, and sat online for a bit, then went to bed.
woke up this morning in a sweat. i cant get the whole car accident out of my mind. its so horrible. iwent to church, well, i sat in matt n chris's sunday school class and colored pictures. then i went and got gas and then i went home. me mom n dad all got in fights and my mom ended up being the only one going to the ducks game with everyone else from our family. sometimes i dont like myself when i do dumb things to her. ugh. so then i went to work and worked out my whole schedule. they suck. then i went to stanleys, visted kelly, then went home and ate cookies with my dad, and then we went to my aunts house to eat with everyone that went to the ducks game. then i left there, picked up kait n kell and we went to timberpoint w. dj josh dan kurt and quinnsquared. then we left there, and kait went home and me kell hung out at her house, and we ate dinner w. her fam, then kait n mimi came over and we went to friendlys. and here i am. 10pm on a school night. holler.
so im gunna get to bed. good update. still a little shooken up, but i should be good in time, like ive always been told, but never listened to, everything happens for a reason.
<33katie.
ps.http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-lifata084250853may08,0,7856339.story?coll=ny-linews-headlines
thats the article fromt eh car crash. yeah.