I'VE DONE IT!!!!
I have developed the innovation for which I will be remembered. I hope they don’t call me a “hero”, because that would be inaccurate. I’m not a hero. I’m just a man that saw the light when the light was there to see.
The science of abbreviation has seen many breakthroughs in the last decade. Actor Jack Black gave us “che”, the brilliant shortened version of “cheese” that saves an estimated 1,400,000,000 man hours a year in English speaking countries, translating into hundreds of millions of dollars a year in labor savings. No longer must we trudge through literal fours of syllables to request a dialogue since the advent of “convo” and “discush”. As we all know, internet geeks have given us perhaps the most significant abbreviations with offerings like “lol”, “rotflol”, “brb”, “ttfn”, and many, many more.
These internet abbreviations became the building blocks of technological innovations so staggering that we have not seen advances of this gravity since the industrial revolution. The most significant of these metabbreviations was the most significant aerospace vehicle to come along since the Space Shuttle or the Stealth Bomber. I am of course referring to the ROTFLOLCOPTER:
Well folks, like the greats that came before me, I too am now ready to make my contribution to the world at large. I give you…
Oom Jell-O
What is OoM Jell-O you ask? Oh, nothing…. JUST AWESOMENESS PERSONIFIED IS ALL!
See, in the beginning there was “omg” (Oh MY God!). Awhile later came “lol” (Laughing Out Loud). Then, some maverick, probably John McCain, Sarah Palin, or both, combined the two into “omglol”. So, like any good scientist, I have stood on the shoulders of those great minds that came before me to forge Oom Jell-O. Allow me to explain:
-Oh my god I’m laughing out loud
Becomes:
-OMGLOL
Becomes:
-OM GLOL
Becomes:
-Oom Jell-O
Spread the word my friends. Obama was right. The change we need is here.