[Fic] Shadows and Sheets, Chapter 7 [KKM, ConYuu, R] [Complete]
Shadows and Sheets
Chapter 7 - Absolution
A/N: At the end of the chapter.
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For some reason, Shibuya Yuuri completely believed when he made such a selfish request of his former charge, that there would be a moment, like in every movie he’s ever seen, where he would know it was the right time.
But as the days stretch into weeks and the weeks into months, all he feels is miserable and weary. And that’s sort of what he wants to feel, because nothing short of that helps nurse the guilt that runs through him. He just wonders when all of that will go away so that he can air out the stagnant feelings surrounding him and carry on with his life.
A heavy sigh lifts into the room as he gazes out onto the grounds that are overrun with white. Somewhere on the other side of the castle, Wolfram, Greta and a few others are monitoring (and probably joining in on) a snowball fight for the younger children of the castle and some young visitors. Greta had been enthusiastic about his coming as well, but he had begged off the invitation in exchange for paperwork-paperwork he has been ignoring for the greater part of an hour.
A knock at his door startles him, and he turns around in time to see Conrad inviting himself in. He’s out of uniform, wearing instead one of his older outfits, and Yuuri notes that he looks a little damp around his jacket. He is also wearing the strangest expression, and Yuuri masks his initial concern for what he hopes is a cheery welcome.
“By the looks of your clothes, I guess everyone is having fun,” he smiles, but it falters when Conrad’s expression doesn’t change.
“Not everyone. You should be there, too.”
Yuuri is shaking his head before the sentence is even finished, and Conrad walks over and takes a firm hold of Yuuri’s arm. Instead of pulling him toward the door as Yuuri thinks, they remain like that, Conrad’s gaze staring through him in a way that makes him want to turn away.
“I…Conrad?” He does not pull back, but his eyes are questioning, his posture stiff.
“My job has always been to protect you, even from yourself. I’m sorry that I haven’t been doing that, Yuuri,” is the answer he is given, and Yuuri’s eyes widen in recognition of his name rather than his title coming from Conrad’s mouth willingly, unprompted. And then Conrad is smiling, but it is different from the usual smiles he offers to Yuuri. It is quiet and expectant, strained around the edges.
Yuuri doesn’t want to talk about jobs or obligations or what Conrad feels he must do. “That’s not what I want,” he moans in his palm as he runs it down his face. “I don’t want that at all.”
“Then what is it that you want?”
“Shouldn’t that be my question? You’re the one that came here,” Yuuri replies as he shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the noise pulsating in his ears. But Conrad only steps closer, and Yuuri feels as though the air is leaving him and the area surrounding him as he is assaulted with Conrad’s presence.
“Yuuri, what do you want?” Conrad asks again, and Yuuri knows what he is really asking is, ‘What are you waiting for?’
Yuuri has always thought the answers to these two questions were as different as the world he came from and the world he rules. But the truth slips off of his tongue quietly to release them from all the lines and boundaries they have drawn for each other.
“Just you.”
The contact that follows is not so much a hug or a kiss, but a consumption of each other.
--------
Yuuri never joins the others outside, and Conrad doesn’t seem to care as he tucks his nose against the other’s hairline. That which is most important to them is in the room the reside in, but even more important are the things that have been discarded: Yuuri’s title seems to have fallen away from Conrad’s vocabulary and with it Yuuri’s drive to maintain his misery, both tucked in some snow bank not to be retrieved again.
“A snowball fight made you decide to come up and get me?” Yuuri asks half-jokingly. He shifts in the unfamiliar sheets of Conrad’s bed to get a better look at his lover, comforted by the things in the room that are both familiar and not. The space holds no memories for him other than the ones they have newly created, and he’d like to keep to that arrangement.
He recognizes Conrad’s smile this time: this one is secretive, and he knows that he won’t get the whole story.
“Hmm…something like that. My brother has become very wise in his old age,” is what is offered instead, and Yuuri doesn’t urge for him to elaborate. This, just as it is, is enough for him right now.
-------------------
Some days later
News usually travels at the speed of light at Blood Pledge Castle, so when Yuuri finally hears that Wolfram is leaving the castle that very day, he feels there must be a conspiracy; Surely Wolfram didn’t make such a decision so quickly. There was too much to do, to plan, for a departure to happen in such a short span of time.
He is then sure there is a conspiracy against him after it takes him nearly an hour to find out Wolfram’s whereabouts. Awkwardness and anger be damned, Yuuri scurries around his castle looking for the blond in order to make him stay.
He’s a little startled to see Wolfram after such a long span of time. He notices the man’s hair has been trimmed shorter than he has ever recalled seeing it, and the traveling clothes he wears are all new to his eyes. The new gloves he wears are reaching out for the door of the carriage, and Yuuri shouts out his name to make him stop.
Wolfram turns, looking confused but not much else, as he watches Yuuri run down the stairs to meet him.
“You’re leaving,” Yuuri states while trying to reclaim his breath.
Now Wolfram is looking at him as though he has lost his mind. “I am,” he replies, as though the carriage and the traveling clothes didn’t say it loudly enough.
“But-you can’t just leave! Especially not now. What about Greta? My mother used to watch these shows where they had children on with all sorts of problems due to separation. Drug abuse and running away and other unmentionable--”
“Yuuri,” Wolfram interrupts him, and his name coming from Wolfram’s mouth gives him pause. “I’ll be returning in a month. Surely you can look after Greta for such a short amount of time.”
A month…?
“Wolfram has been asked to oversee some of his young nephew’s sword training at the Bielefeld residence,” a voice supplies, and then a familiar head peaks out from the other side of the carriage to match the voice. Yuuri tries his best to hide his surprise at seeing Conrad helping prep the carriage for the trip. The two brothers exchange words about supplies as though nothing has changed between them at all.
Perhaps nothing has.
The Maou decides then and there that there is a serious lack of reliable gossip circulating around his castle. How could he have not known that? And how could someone have left out that Wolfram’s leave was temporary?
“You’re coming back?” He believes both of them, but he needs confirmation before he can allow himself the luxury of relief.
“Didn’t you just hear me, Wimp? I’ll be home in a month.”
Wimp. Home. Okay.
He’s rubbing at his eyes in relief before he can stop himself, his eye ducts turning into traitors as they fill and threaten to spill. Then there’s suddenly a light impact against his face, and the remnants of a snowball are sliding down his cheeks to hide anything that may have fallen from his eyes.
Wolfram’s smirk holds nothing but satisfaction as he shakes the excess water from his hand and then opens the door of the carriage to take his leave.
“The next time there’s a snowball fight with the kids, you had better come. Greta was disappointed.” There’s a threat laced within Wolfram’s words, but Yuuri senses that the promise is nothing more than a few more snowballs to his face during the future fight.
“I’ll be there,” he agrees despite the inevitable fate that will likely follow such an event. It’s a battle he doesn’t mind losing in the face of such progress.
-End
A/N: I had a completely different ending to this story written out well before I even started chapter six. But with Wolfram and Yuuri’s separation in chapter five, I realized that what I had written for an ending didn’t work with the overall tone of the story. I also realized that I had no idea what I was going to do for the ending. And so I waited, and waited. And now look how much time has passed.
So, my apologies to everyone who has waited for the ending to this story. It’s been a long time coming. My objective when starting this piece was to write a Conrad/Yuuri story that also did Wolfram and his feelings justice. I’m not sure if that is what I did, but I am happy with it overall. I felt it was appropriate that Wolfram get the final say in this story, even if everything is not cleanly tied up between him and Yuuri. The ending is, I think, open-ended, but I’d like to be an optimist and believe that time really does heal all wounds.
Previous Installments:
Prologue and Chapter One
Yuuri on Wolfram (flashback)
Chapter Two
Yuuri on Conrad(flashback)
Chapter 3
Yuuri and Murata on Conseqeunces(flashback)
Yuuri on Conrad and Wolfram(flashback)
Chapter Four, Part A
The Death of Young Yuuri (flashback)
Chapter Four, Part B
Yuuri and Murata on Avoidance (Flashback}
Chapter 5
Yuuri on His Bedmate (Flashback)
Chapter six
Conrad (Flashback)
Chapter 7 - Absolution
A/N: At the end of the chapter.
-----------
For some reason, Shibuya Yuuri completely believed when he made such a selfish request of his former charge, that there would be a moment, like in every movie he’s ever seen, where he would know it was the right time.
But as the days stretch into weeks and the weeks into months, all he feels is miserable and weary. And that’s sort of what he wants to feel, because nothing short of that helps nurse the guilt that runs through him. He just wonders when all of that will go away so that he can air out the stagnant feelings surrounding him and carry on with his life.
A heavy sigh lifts into the room as he gazes out onto the grounds that are overrun with white. Somewhere on the other side of the castle, Wolfram, Greta and a few others are monitoring (and probably joining in on) a snowball fight for the younger children of the castle and some young visitors. Greta had been enthusiastic about his coming as well, but he had begged off the invitation in exchange for paperwork-paperwork he has been ignoring for the greater part of an hour.
A knock at his door startles him, and he turns around in time to see Conrad inviting himself in. He’s out of uniform, wearing instead one of his older outfits, and Yuuri notes that he looks a little damp around his jacket. He is also wearing the strangest expression, and Yuuri masks his initial concern for what he hopes is a cheery welcome.
“By the looks of your clothes, I guess everyone is having fun,” he smiles, but it falters when Conrad’s expression doesn’t change.
“Not everyone. You should be there, too.”
Yuuri is shaking his head before the sentence is even finished, and Conrad walks over and takes a firm hold of Yuuri’s arm. Instead of pulling him toward the door as Yuuri thinks, they remain like that, Conrad’s gaze staring through him in a way that makes him want to turn away.
“I…Conrad?” He does not pull back, but his eyes are questioning, his posture stiff.
“My job has always been to protect you, even from yourself. I’m sorry that I haven’t been doing that, Yuuri,” is the answer he is given, and Yuuri’s eyes widen in recognition of his name rather than his title coming from Conrad’s mouth willingly, unprompted. And then Conrad is smiling, but it is different from the usual smiles he offers to Yuuri. It is quiet and expectant, strained around the edges.
Yuuri doesn’t want to talk about jobs or obligations or what Conrad feels he must do. “That’s not what I want,” he moans in his palm as he runs it down his face. “I don’t want that at all.”
“Then what is it that you want?”
“Shouldn’t that be my question? You’re the one that came here,” Yuuri replies as he shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the noise pulsating in his ears. But Conrad only steps closer, and Yuuri feels as though the air is leaving him and the area surrounding him as he is assaulted with Conrad’s presence.
“Yuuri, what do you want?” Conrad asks again, and Yuuri knows what he is really asking is, ‘What are you waiting for?’
Yuuri has always thought the answers to these two questions were as different as the world he came from and the world he rules. But the truth slips off of his tongue quietly to release them from all the lines and boundaries they have drawn for each other.
“Just you.”
The contact that follows is not so much a hug or a kiss, but a consumption of each other.
--------
Yuuri never joins the others outside, and Conrad doesn’t seem to care as he tucks his nose against the other’s hairline. That which is most important to them is in the room the reside in, but even more important are the things that have been discarded: Yuuri’s title seems to have fallen away from Conrad’s vocabulary and with it Yuuri’s drive to maintain his misery, both tucked in some snow bank not to be retrieved again.
“A snowball fight made you decide to come up and get me?” Yuuri asks half-jokingly. He shifts in the unfamiliar sheets of Conrad’s bed to get a better look at his lover, comforted by the things in the room that are both familiar and not. The space holds no memories for him other than the ones they have newly created, and he’d like to keep to that arrangement.
He recognizes Conrad’s smile this time: this one is secretive, and he knows that he won’t get the whole story.
“Hmm…something like that. My brother has become very wise in his old age,” is what is offered instead, and Yuuri doesn’t urge for him to elaborate. This, just as it is, is enough for him right now.
-------------------
Some days later
News usually travels at the speed of light at Blood Pledge Castle, so when Yuuri finally hears that Wolfram is leaving the castle that very day, he feels there must be a conspiracy; Surely Wolfram didn’t make such a decision so quickly. There was too much to do, to plan, for a departure to happen in such a short span of time.
He is then sure there is a conspiracy against him after it takes him nearly an hour to find out Wolfram’s whereabouts. Awkwardness and anger be damned, Yuuri scurries around his castle looking for the blond in order to make him stay.
He’s a little startled to see Wolfram after such a long span of time. He notices the man’s hair has been trimmed shorter than he has ever recalled seeing it, and the traveling clothes he wears are all new to his eyes. The new gloves he wears are reaching out for the door of the carriage, and Yuuri shouts out his name to make him stop.
Wolfram turns, looking confused but not much else, as he watches Yuuri run down the stairs to meet him.
“You’re leaving,” Yuuri states while trying to reclaim his breath.
Now Wolfram is looking at him as though he has lost his mind. “I am,” he replies, as though the carriage and the traveling clothes didn’t say it loudly enough.
“But-you can’t just leave! Especially not now. What about Greta? My mother used to watch these shows where they had children on with all sorts of problems due to separation. Drug abuse and running away and other unmentionable--”
“Yuuri,” Wolfram interrupts him, and his name coming from Wolfram’s mouth gives him pause. “I’ll be returning in a month. Surely you can look after Greta for such a short amount of time.”
A month…?
“Wolfram has been asked to oversee some of his young nephew’s sword training at the Bielefeld residence,” a voice supplies, and then a familiar head peaks out from the other side of the carriage to match the voice. Yuuri tries his best to hide his surprise at seeing Conrad helping prep the carriage for the trip. The two brothers exchange words about supplies as though nothing has changed between them at all.
Perhaps nothing has.
The Maou decides then and there that there is a serious lack of reliable gossip circulating around his castle. How could he have not known that? And how could someone have left out that Wolfram’s leave was temporary?
“You’re coming back?” He believes both of them, but he needs confirmation before he can allow himself the luxury of relief.
“Didn’t you just hear me, Wimp? I’ll be home in a month.”
Wimp. Home. Okay.
He’s rubbing at his eyes in relief before he can stop himself, his eye ducts turning into traitors as they fill and threaten to spill. Then there’s suddenly a light impact against his face, and the remnants of a snowball are sliding down his cheeks to hide anything that may have fallen from his eyes.
Wolfram’s smirk holds nothing but satisfaction as he shakes the excess water from his hand and then opens the door of the carriage to take his leave.
“The next time there’s a snowball fight with the kids, you had better come. Greta was disappointed.” There’s a threat laced within Wolfram’s words, but Yuuri senses that the promise is nothing more than a few more snowballs to his face during the future fight.
“I’ll be there,” he agrees despite the inevitable fate that will likely follow such an event. It’s a battle he doesn’t mind losing in the face of such progress.
-End
A/N: I had a completely different ending to this story written out well before I even started chapter six. But with Wolfram and Yuuri’s separation in chapter five, I realized that what I had written for an ending didn’t work with the overall tone of the story. I also realized that I had no idea what I was going to do for the ending. And so I waited, and waited. And now look how much time has passed.
So, my apologies to everyone who has waited for the ending to this story. It’s been a long time coming. My objective when starting this piece was to write a Conrad/Yuuri story that also did Wolfram and his feelings justice. I’m not sure if that is what I did, but I am happy with it overall. I felt it was appropriate that Wolfram get the final say in this story, even if everything is not cleanly tied up between him and Yuuri. The ending is, I think, open-ended, but I’d like to be an optimist and believe that time really does heal all wounds.
Previous Installments:
Prologue and Chapter One
Yuuri on Wolfram (flashback)
Chapter Two
Yuuri on Conrad(flashback)
Chapter 3
Yuuri and Murata on Conseqeunces(flashback)
Yuuri on Conrad and Wolfram(flashback)
Chapter Four, Part A
The Death of Young Yuuri (flashback)
Chapter Four, Part B
Yuuri and Murata on Avoidance (Flashback}
Chapter 5
Yuuri on His Bedmate (Flashback)
Chapter six
Conrad (Flashback)