Inherited Balance Sheet
I have mentioned a couple of times before that both of my parents have fathers with extra-marital families. I think I'll stop the elaboration of the extra-marital families there, because I intend to point something else.
There are positive and negative effects about these extra-marital families.
The most basic negative effect would be, of course, the chaos that it has inflicted. However there is a very specific negative effect that I would like to highlight - This extra-marital marriage has brought the worst out of my parents due to the pain that my grandfathers have inflicted. For Nny, she has actually though of doing something to "harm" (not physically) her father. For Tty, this has made him cry at least one. Tty is a very stoic person and does not cry.
Those are a few examples of the negative effects.
So there are positive effects? Yes. The way I see it... Because their fathers are like this, they now have an "anti-example." If an example is something we want to follow, then an anti-example is something that we don't want to follow. So from this anti-example, they have probably dedicated themselves to be the best God damn spouses and parents that they could ever be.
(Another "positive" effect is that my [step]aunt bore a wonderful child - my favorite cousin. ♥)
Here is where it gets ugly:
My parents are the ones afflicted with the negative effects.
I am the one who is benefiting from the positive effect.
It's not fair, and I feel guilty about it. Although I know that I'm not supposed to feel guilty about it because I wasn't the one that caused the extra-marital affairs. It's easy to say right now because I'm not in the situation, but... I'd rather that my parents did not have to experience what they have experienced, even if it means that I gain no benefit fro it.
In another note... My (step)aunt and my cousins are here in the country to visit. I just thought of it now - I wonder how my aunt feels with respect to how Nny dealt with her stepsiblings during the discussions about inheritance. (To be explained in another entry.)
There are positive and negative effects about these extra-marital families.
The most basic negative effect would be, of course, the chaos that it has inflicted. However there is a very specific negative effect that I would like to highlight - This extra-marital marriage has brought the worst out of my parents due to the pain that my grandfathers have inflicted. For Nny, she has actually though of doing something to "harm" (not physically) her father. For Tty, this has made him cry at least one. Tty is a very stoic person and does not cry.
Those are a few examples of the negative effects.
So there are positive effects? Yes. The way I see it... Because their fathers are like this, they now have an "anti-example." If an example is something we want to follow, then an anti-example is something that we don't want to follow. So from this anti-example, they have probably dedicated themselves to be the best God damn spouses and parents that they could ever be.
(Another "positive" effect is that my [step]aunt bore a wonderful child - my favorite cousin. ♥)
Here is where it gets ugly:
My parents are the ones afflicted with the negative effects.
I am the one who is benefiting from the positive effect.
It's not fair, and I feel guilty about it. Although I know that I'm not supposed to feel guilty about it because I wasn't the one that caused the extra-marital affairs. It's easy to say right now because I'm not in the situation, but... I'd rather that my parents did not have to experience what they have experienced, even if it means that I gain no benefit fro it.
In another note... My (step)aunt and my cousins are here in the country to visit. I just thought of it now - I wonder how my aunt feels with respect to how Nny dealt with her stepsiblings during the discussions about inheritance. (To be explained in another entry.)