(no subject)
What would death be like? Is it like the people next door banging the wall with the bed as they fake the next part of the day? I've seen it all, and there's not much more to say anymore, I'm glad people think they're happy, go on it's cool one day I will be too. There's nothing left to do it seems, I don't really want them to change anymore, I want to forget it all and live under a rock or maybe a tree. I don't see how this world can do this anymore, it's so fucking boring, most of us do the same thing everyday of our lives. Most of us defend it and say it's meaningful and special and they're right and how dare you for questioning it and we've already thought enough, where's the next joint coming from? I went to a meeting that involved the vp of our school and some students, pretty much anyone who was interested in giving feedback on what they thought of the year and the school. I went because this department called me to ask me to go because I wanted to transfer and thus likely had opinions on why the school was so bad. I saw silent hill tonight too. They were equally entertaining. Why am I even typing this really? I mostly end up in a jumble of partially ignited thought chains. I have a thousand things to say and I can never get an entire one out. I tie the most intricaate knots in my own mind. I swear clarity of mind should be cause for celebration. Sometimes I think I have it, and two days later I think what in christ was I thinking I missed the whole point, or just plain ole that didn't really mean a damn thing. I feel theoretically fucked. Atleast school is almost over. I've really been thinking about what I'm gunna do with all my free time though. There's just too much time to leave it all to entertainment, I want to learn something, and not the rote shit I learn in school. I'm thinking about moving to a small beachish community somewhere this summer and just getting a job and living on my own. I need to be on my own to think for once. I'm tired of having my parents money and being unable to control my urges to indulge myself. I live in this fucking layer of privilege. And it cuts me off from the world.
I want some answers! WORLD, WHERE ARE THEY?
I want some answers! WORLD, WHERE ARE THEY?