Apr 20, 2010 14:48
Dear @MeliBlack,
I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it. I’ve seem to be visit the future. Or at least my future. Nothing have change much only I’m not me. Or So I didn’t feel like me. I felt overpowered. I felt like he had complete control of me. I felt like I had no voice, no say in anything, They had control of me. I fear the worst. You won’t let me get that far right?
Lately my phone has been quite. But I somehow I feel like it’s not over. I mean one way or another he always seem to find a way back into my life. Maybe that is why it didn’t seem to strange in the beginning, but as the story delveoped in my head, that just can’t be me. There’s no way I could let him have that control of me.
It started out with my mom dropping me off at a house, a house I now every well. A house I visit daily, a house I saw my cousins grow up in, a house just right around my old neighborhood. Beside me there was a huge laundry bag. Full with gifts…right? It has to be. There’s no way those are my belonging, but then again I do remember seeing a pillow at the top of the bag. A pillow? Why am I so scare?
As I stood there facing the house, part of me wanted to go in, the other part wanted to chase my mom down the street. I didn’t want to go in. i didn’t. So I took the bag and started walking away, just as headed up the sidewalk, I see a car making a turn. Oh I could see the neighborhood so clearly. It was a white car. I frozen as it made a stop right in front of me.
“Hold on,” he spoke to the telephone, “where you waiting for me?” he asked me.
“Yea” I nodded.
“Let’s go then.”
He lead the way to the front door. He unlocks the house and walks in. As I hesitated outside, I couldn’t help but worry. I didn’t want to go in. I felt like dropping to the floor, and crying for help. What faith was my life going to end in if I walking into that door?
“Come on,” he said as he walked out to grab my bag.
I walked in. It was a nice quite house. Beige colored wall, all black furniture. The TV was on. It was on commercial. I turn to face the door,and I see a lady. There’s a lady in the couch. she was cover up in a black blanket, beside her a baby. A baby wrap in a white blanket.
He comes back in and puts my bag behind a empty couch. I looked at him and smile as he just went right passed me into a hallway, still on the phone. The lady turned to look at us. She gives me a look that could kill and calls out to him.
“Alex, the baby is cry.” He looked out from the hall, and paid no mind.
I stood there, froze. Alex? Did she just said Alex?
“I’ll carry him,” I said. I picked up the baby, and something in me just sparked.
He finally comes back out. “Where did she go?” she asked the lady, obviously not talking about me.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I thought she was going to stay longer, but she just left a few minutes ago.”
He looked at me with cold eyes as he spoke on the phone. “You should of waited for me” he said. “No, she’s not going stay long.” He finally hangs up.
“You should of called me.” he said to me. “You should of called me to tell me you were coming.”
I looked at him. For the first time I saw my expression change. I was angry, yet you can still see the sadness in my eyes. “I have to call you?” I said. “I have to call you if I want to see my baby.”
My baby? That can’t be my baby. I mean it can’t right? There’s no way on earth that baby can be his AND mine. NONE!
After all I’ve been through well this be my future?
#love,
#letter,
#teen,
#diary