MEMORIES
A few days ago, I watched a trailer for the movie "The Last Kiss," starring Zach Braff, Rachel Bilson, and Casey Affleck. It has the indie feel of "Garden State" with Oscar-worthy performances and directing. Zach Braff plays a guy who's about to turn 30, who must choose between settling down with his long-time girlfriend or choosing to try the unknown with Kim, Bilson's character. I feel most people come to a point in their lives where they feel that there are no more surprises or more bends in the road, and that everything is already laid out in front of their eyes. I guess I've been thinking about the questions poised in the trailer about making the "right" decision. In a few short weeks, I'll be turning 19, thus entering my last year as a teenager. With that realization, I am filled with doubts about my future because finishing my first year of college has made me question whether I'm cut out for what I wanted to do with my life. I'm scared that before I know it, I'll be 30 just like Braff's character and realizing that even though I had everything I thought I wanted, I would not be happy, probably doing something I didn't want to do and fully aware of the realization that golden opportunities had already passed me by. Bilson has a line in the movie where she says "The world is moving so fast that we start freaking out way before our parents did because we don't stop to breathe anymore." What I find ironic is that studies reveal people with set career goals are more successful than those who aren't. But how can colleges expect us to know what we want to do with our lives at the tender ages of 18/19?
Well, I digress. I guess my biggest fear is making the wrong choice. I know that everyone has doubts about themselves; it's what makes us human. However, in twenty years, I don't want to look back with regret and wonder how things would have been had one minor detail had been different. Of course, some of the factors that determine our paths are completely out of our hands, such as the weather or getting older. But some of them are completely in our own hands from choosing a job/major to deciding whether or not to let go. I often wonder what would have happened had I chosen to commit more attention to certain relationships in my past. The outcome could very well be the same as the one I currently face, but then again, it could also be the complete opposite. What puzzles me more is that I don't understand my attraction! I guess there are just people you'll never forget or get over. Memories can really be a bitch.
Well, I digress. I guess my biggest fear is making the wrong choice. I know that everyone has doubts about themselves; it's what makes us human. However, in twenty years, I don't want to look back with regret and wonder how things would have been had one minor detail had been different. Of course, some of the factors that determine our paths are completely out of our hands, such as the weather or getting older. But some of them are completely in our own hands from choosing a job/major to deciding whether or not to let go. I often wonder what would have happened had I chosen to commit more attention to certain relationships in my past. The outcome could very well be the same as the one I currently face, but then again, it could also be the complete opposite. What puzzles me more is that I don't understand my attraction! I guess there are just people you'll never forget or get over. Memories can really be a bitch.