ouch
I've gotta say. I really wish that I knew I was given a better lease on life due to what happened beyond my control. I want to know, beyond doubt that I'm the best person I can be. There is a fucking huge, prominant gap in my life and I need to know how that's affected me. I've already rationalized quite a bit by myself and come to realize who exactly I am, and that's a big accomplishment, but now I really want to know who I would have been. I want to know that everything is best how it is.