Boogerfest
Bleh... I figured out why Ive been so mopey these past few days, weeks actually... Just figured it out reading other peoples journals... I could sense it, didn't remember it but I could sense it. FA: United happened this weekend. Why is this a big deal besides the fact I get all mopey when a con goes on because I cant make it to one... ever! Because I had every full intention of attending... I had the plans, the money, the math done... I was ready to go but one thing kept me from going... I fucking forgot about it... completely... SO needless to say... IM FUCKING PISSED OFF!
I dont want to hear how good it was from people, I dont want to hear how shitty it was either. I dont want to hear anything about it from anyone, or the conversation will be over until I feel better... *Sigh* I wanted to go so badly... but I cant go to one alone. And dont anyone try to say they wouldve roomed with me, its not that fucking simple. What I mean by alone is... it doesnt matter how many people surround me, that I may or may not be close to, I am completely alone in a room filled with people. So how could I go unalone? With someone I trust and if my meager attempts to enter the fray go unnoticed or even, unattempted, Ill have someone I can trust, be with, and have fun with regardless of whats going on or who is around me. Why cant I room with a friend Ive known for a while online? Because thats just it, I dont know you. I know your character, I know how you play your character, but I dont know the real, unmasked, fully exposed personality of you. And besides that, you dont know me either, the true me. The one that prefers to talk to himself than join in festivities, rather be alone in a cooped up room so i dont have to make any interactions with anyone, even family members!
I think the reason I forgot about the whole thing, even thuogh I had planned this since Jan., was because my Frosty wouldnt be able to go with me. Its not his fault, I dont blame him in the least. But like I said, if I dont have a support person, I wont even go through with it. And so, my mind pushed the idea out of sight... and with me, its always "Out of sight, out of mind." Well, with it through, hopefully I can get back to hiding the emo side and pretend to be happy and cheerful and fun.
And on a side note, I have drawn... but unfortunately some people are being lazy and not getting a certain site completely back up and running like it should have been over 2 months ago!
I dont want to hear how good it was from people, I dont want to hear how shitty it was either. I dont want to hear anything about it from anyone, or the conversation will be over until I feel better... *Sigh* I wanted to go so badly... but I cant go to one alone. And dont anyone try to say they wouldve roomed with me, its not that fucking simple. What I mean by alone is... it doesnt matter how many people surround me, that I may or may not be close to, I am completely alone in a room filled with people. So how could I go unalone? With someone I trust and if my meager attempts to enter the fray go unnoticed or even, unattempted, Ill have someone I can trust, be with, and have fun with regardless of whats going on or who is around me. Why cant I room with a friend Ive known for a while online? Because thats just it, I dont know you. I know your character, I know how you play your character, but I dont know the real, unmasked, fully exposed personality of you. And besides that, you dont know me either, the true me. The one that prefers to talk to himself than join in festivities, rather be alone in a cooped up room so i dont have to make any interactions with anyone, even family members!
I think the reason I forgot about the whole thing, even thuogh I had planned this since Jan., was because my Frosty wouldnt be able to go with me. Its not his fault, I dont blame him in the least. But like I said, if I dont have a support person, I wont even go through with it. And so, my mind pushed the idea out of sight... and with me, its always "Out of sight, out of mind." Well, with it through, hopefully I can get back to hiding the emo side and pretend to be happy and cheerful and fun.
And on a side note, I have drawn... but unfortunately some people are being lazy and not getting a certain site completely back up and running like it should have been over 2 months ago!