Worth what it Took.
I can't say that I really like my dog, Snowy.
I can't say that I really appreciate her presence, nor her annoying, yappy bark, nor her insubordinate attitude nor her lack of respect for the authority of the rest of the family.
I would have to say that I don't like my dog. But I would have to say that I like even less the fact that she's dying.
Many times I had felt that I would like for her not to be with us. Not to be present. It would be one less nuisance to step over. One less voice to bark at a creak from the wood of the house. One less thing to complain about.
But I still don't like to see her dying.
Maybe it's not the dog I don't like to see dying, maybe it's me. Perhaps on an absolute I really don't care that she's dying but what bothers me is seeing this old, decrepit dog reminds me of the mortality of life. I suppose I don't like that it ends.
But I guess that's a good thing. It shows I'm still human.
But it still sucks that it takes suffering, and a grotesque reminder of death to make me realize that I value life, instead of something worth living for.
Fuck. I'm so fucked up.
I can't say that I really appreciate her presence, nor her annoying, yappy bark, nor her insubordinate attitude nor her lack of respect for the authority of the rest of the family.
I would have to say that I don't like my dog. But I would have to say that I like even less the fact that she's dying.
Many times I had felt that I would like for her not to be with us. Not to be present. It would be one less nuisance to step over. One less voice to bark at a creak from the wood of the house. One less thing to complain about.
But I still don't like to see her dying.
Maybe it's not the dog I don't like to see dying, maybe it's me. Perhaps on an absolute I really don't care that she's dying but what bothers me is seeing this old, decrepit dog reminds me of the mortality of life. I suppose I don't like that it ends.
But I guess that's a good thing. It shows I'm still human.
But it still sucks that it takes suffering, and a grotesque reminder of death to make me realize that I value life, instead of something worth living for.
Fuck. I'm so fucked up.