There's something there that wasn't there before
Well that went unexpectedly well and relatively simply. After a week of ho-humming and insecurity, I finally bucked up the courage to relate my concerns to Adam. I didn't know what to expect - I never do. But it was good. No fighting, no excuses, just straight up. The way things always ought to be. So, I'm feeling much better now than I was. No, it shouldn't have taken me a week to come clean, but better late than never, right? I really didn't know how to approach it and was so fearful of starting an unnecessary argument that never ends until we see each other. But I think we're good.
It just amazes me how it never gets any easier. No matter how much practice you have.
Thank god we don't have too much longer.
As KC gets closer, it gets that much harder to believe. I'm kinda terrified of telling my parents, because I'm always terrified of being honest with them. It never turns out well. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I will miss Springfield in the tiniest bit. Almost all of this is because this past weekend I realized how much fun I have with my work friends. It's gonna be sad when that ends and I move to a new city where I don't exactly have that kind of base. No, we're not super close by any means, but we're fun, and sometimes that's really all you need.
I'm finally getting into a comfortable niche at work, just as I'm about to leave. I'm learning more everyday and making more of an impact on those around me (at least that's what I believe). And soon I'll be leaving it all behind. That's me though, always going somewhere.
I find it's best to leave when you're on top, anyway.
While I'm still here, I've decided to deactivate my Facebook account. I know, right? I honestly don't know HOW I suddenly found the strength to do it, but I did. I've been thinking about it for ages, but never actually considering it. But this past week, as my brain focused on the ONE weakness I found in my relationship, Facebook became a form of torture. Every time I'd check Facebook, I'd get more upset. A pit would show where my stomach once was and I felt terribly insecure.
When I'm at my computer, I check Facebook more in one hour than a mother checks her child. I am ADDICTED, and I'm not even half as bad as some people. For example, I do not have Facebook on my phone. I do not change my status multiple times a day, and my profile picture stays the same for weeks, sometimes MONTHS at a time. But that doesn't mean I don't stalk other people's profiles or check what's happened new in the last 10 minutes.
I have been able to draw the line at how much I have facebook accessible, but when it IS accessible, I'm out of control.
When it comes to a point that Facebook is creating unnecessary drama, that's pretty bad, yet we still continue our facebook habits. But when it starts messing with my mentality, especially in my RELATIONSHIP, that's where I draw the line. Because my relationship is more important than the "Jackie is in a relationship with Adam" written on the right side of the screen.
Facebook is TOXIC. When I feel like it's more of a way to be ignored by everyone than a way to be in contact with them, there's a serious problem. So, I'm giving it up for a while. At least until I get to KC and don't have it messing with the long-distance relationship. You'd be surprised at how much damage it can do. I'm going to try really hard to make it till then. But like I said, it truly is an addiction, and I'm going cold turkey.
It's funny because it did just happen quite suddenly. I thought, I need to get rid of this for a while and within 10 minutes it was done. I really don't know where that strength came from so quickly. But I'm thankful for it, for sure.
Maybe we all have it in us - whatever it is.
I also think it's about time to give up soda again. I literally got sick from it the other day. I drank wayyy too much at work and came home and threw up. All brown. All Dr. Pepper. GROSS! And when I drank some soda today, my stomach started freaking out a little. My body is telling me to stop. I really need to listen. But do I have enough willpower to quit soda, Facebook, and continue not smoking without re-entering my hardcore coffee addiction??? I guess there's only one way to find out.
Well, I think that's it for now. I got the sudden urge to turn on You've Got Mail and drink some water while I cuddle with Johnson Howard McKinley and ChipChip.
But hey, I'm feeling good. A bit more free, if you will.
3 Good things:
1) Good news from Dick's Managers
2) I was wonderfully reminded what a great movie Beauty and the Beast is.
3) Adam's face in 6 days.
It just amazes me how it never gets any easier. No matter how much practice you have.
Thank god we don't have too much longer.
As KC gets closer, it gets that much harder to believe. I'm kinda terrified of telling my parents, because I'm always terrified of being honest with them. It never turns out well. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I will miss Springfield in the tiniest bit. Almost all of this is because this past weekend I realized how much fun I have with my work friends. It's gonna be sad when that ends and I move to a new city where I don't exactly have that kind of base. No, we're not super close by any means, but we're fun, and sometimes that's really all you need.
I'm finally getting into a comfortable niche at work, just as I'm about to leave. I'm learning more everyday and making more of an impact on those around me (at least that's what I believe). And soon I'll be leaving it all behind. That's me though, always going somewhere.
I find it's best to leave when you're on top, anyway.
While I'm still here, I've decided to deactivate my Facebook account. I know, right? I honestly don't know HOW I suddenly found the strength to do it, but I did. I've been thinking about it for ages, but never actually considering it. But this past week, as my brain focused on the ONE weakness I found in my relationship, Facebook became a form of torture. Every time I'd check Facebook, I'd get more upset. A pit would show where my stomach once was and I felt terribly insecure.
When I'm at my computer, I check Facebook more in one hour than a mother checks her child. I am ADDICTED, and I'm not even half as bad as some people. For example, I do not have Facebook on my phone. I do not change my status multiple times a day, and my profile picture stays the same for weeks, sometimes MONTHS at a time. But that doesn't mean I don't stalk other people's profiles or check what's happened new in the last 10 minutes.
I have been able to draw the line at how much I have facebook accessible, but when it IS accessible, I'm out of control.
When it comes to a point that Facebook is creating unnecessary drama, that's pretty bad, yet we still continue our facebook habits. But when it starts messing with my mentality, especially in my RELATIONSHIP, that's where I draw the line. Because my relationship is more important than the "Jackie is in a relationship with Adam" written on the right side of the screen.
Facebook is TOXIC. When I feel like it's more of a way to be ignored by everyone than a way to be in contact with them, there's a serious problem. So, I'm giving it up for a while. At least until I get to KC and don't have it messing with the long-distance relationship. You'd be surprised at how much damage it can do. I'm going to try really hard to make it till then. But like I said, it truly is an addiction, and I'm going cold turkey.
It's funny because it did just happen quite suddenly. I thought, I need to get rid of this for a while and within 10 minutes it was done. I really don't know where that strength came from so quickly. But I'm thankful for it, for sure.
Maybe we all have it in us - whatever it is.
I also think it's about time to give up soda again. I literally got sick from it the other day. I drank wayyy too much at work and came home and threw up. All brown. All Dr. Pepper. GROSS! And when I drank some soda today, my stomach started freaking out a little. My body is telling me to stop. I really need to listen. But do I have enough willpower to quit soda, Facebook, and continue not smoking without re-entering my hardcore coffee addiction??? I guess there's only one way to find out.
Well, I think that's it for now. I got the sudden urge to turn on You've Got Mail and drink some water while I cuddle with Johnson Howard McKinley and ChipChip.
But hey, I'm feeling good. A bit more free, if you will.
3 Good things:
1) Good news from Dick's Managers
2) I was wonderfully reminded what a great movie Beauty and the Beast is.
3) Adam's face in 6 days.