out of love
I have to say that relationships are the most challenging thing ever. I know that a lot of you know that Evan and I haven't been exactly perfect for atleast 3 weeks. I'm not really gonna explain it. Let's just say that he's struck out a lot. I think today I really told him exactly how I felt for the first time in a month. I got some things out of him that made me realize a lot. I asked him "do you really love me, because it doesn't seem like it anymore." and he was like "I really dont know if I do, especially for the last month." At first it shocked me, but it made me think and question exactly how i feel about him. I think that things got so bad and we didn't talk that we literally fell out of love. I honestly know in my heart that for the first month or so that we were in love. We both know that it was almost perfect. I don't know if I can say that I don't love him, because I think he is amazing no matter what. It's just that I'm not sure enough anymore to say it to him. FOr the first time in 2 MONTHS we didn't say I love you to eachother when we said goodbye on the phone. 2 months! We both agreed that we would start over again. It was so funny cause he was like my name is evan and i was like hi my name is melissa. i finally see the future for us. i have hope now. i havent had that in a long time. to feel that again is so reassuring. i feel like this is the chance to fall for eachother once again. it was so weird last night becuase i told him that i missed him so much this weekend, but i was so busy, that i really couldn't think about it. he was like yeah, i missed you, i missed you a lot. then we both realized that we haven't had a real conversation in over 3 weeks. we really didnt even know what was going on in eachother's life anymore. then we finally had time to think that we missed eachother. i must say that to realize some of this makes you think of how oblivious you were when it was all happening. i do want to give a shout out to my buddy mark(one of evan's best friends). he honestly has so much hope for the both of us. So yes my friends, i know its been a lot of drama. we are still together though, but i wouldnt say its perfect. i hope that everyone can see now that we really do care and we are going to make this work.
Love, Melissa Ann
Love, Melissa Ann