(no subject)
this is rediculous
im fed up with it, im just so sick of it all
i dont understand why i have to deal with this
im getting frustrated with myself and my body
and im getting frustrated with the ones around me whom are only trying to help
its not fair to others
im getting so frustrated with everyone cause no one, absolutely no one understands
they think its some sort of fluke or something; they dont understand and i know its not their fault because how is it that their supposed to know my situation when they have absolutely no knowledge of whats acctually going on with my body
i love them for caring, its just frustrating when im already frustrated with myself and my body for not co-operating with normality
why can't i just be normal?
my philosophy upon life is that everything happens for a reason; there IS a reason for everything that i am and will be
but i still cant understand, what is it that im supposed to learn and discover through this?
whats the greatness im aquiring spiritually as a being for taking upon this abnormailty?
i just want it to end
and i know everyone is probably thinking that im being a whiny baby and that many people have much harsher situations than mine, but its just difficult sometimes to view your disease in that optomistic mindset when your just constantly going downhill and even when you try your hardest to fix it it seems like nothing is going anywhere and no results seem to be appearing
im just really really sore and my body is physically aching
I hate the fact that at times it does stop me from beng able to do things "normal" people can do; i hate that i was acctually sent home early from work because i was physically incapable of completing the hour
Tell me, whats my reason for this?
why do i have this and why will i always have to deal with this?
why can't i just be like the normal ones?
why can't i at least have this stupid disease but be like the rest of them where im not absolutely psychotic?
I want to go away and i want to forget about it all, live life without the worry and pain
im fed up with it, im just so sick of it all
i dont understand why i have to deal with this
im getting frustrated with myself and my body
and im getting frustrated with the ones around me whom are only trying to help
its not fair to others
im getting so frustrated with everyone cause no one, absolutely no one understands
they think its some sort of fluke or something; they dont understand and i know its not their fault because how is it that their supposed to know my situation when they have absolutely no knowledge of whats acctually going on with my body
i love them for caring, its just frustrating when im already frustrated with myself and my body for not co-operating with normality
why can't i just be normal?
my philosophy upon life is that everything happens for a reason; there IS a reason for everything that i am and will be
but i still cant understand, what is it that im supposed to learn and discover through this?
whats the greatness im aquiring spiritually as a being for taking upon this abnormailty?
i just want it to end
and i know everyone is probably thinking that im being a whiny baby and that many people have much harsher situations than mine, but its just difficult sometimes to view your disease in that optomistic mindset when your just constantly going downhill and even when you try your hardest to fix it it seems like nothing is going anywhere and no results seem to be appearing
im just really really sore and my body is physically aching
I hate the fact that at times it does stop me from beng able to do things "normal" people can do; i hate that i was acctually sent home early from work because i was physically incapable of completing the hour
Tell me, whats my reason for this?
why do i have this and why will i always have to deal with this?
why can't i just be like the normal ones?
why can't i at least have this stupid disease but be like the rest of them where im not absolutely psychotic?
I want to go away and i want to forget about it all, live life without the worry and pain