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[confusedpoet_88]

does anyone ever feel like they're not good enough? Like, they want to be this and this and this, and they simply can't be, will never be? don't you ever feel like you have absolutely no potential, even for the most pathetic, ridiculous, least important thing

Comments

[kaorufeiniel]

At this point it would be so predictable for me to agree with everyone to "not worry", to say that "I care", to say "get back up." But this time I can't, I've fallen, I'm not getting back up either. It doesn't help to show or tell about my graduation party, and the pictures from them. I smoked, I drank, I even sat in a van while my friends got high. They said I got high, but I wasn't laughing like them, I wasn't tripping around like them, I just sat all the way in the back and closed my eyes. The part about the pot thing I've never told anyone, now opps the cat is out of the bag! And I don't care what people will say about me now. Next weekend the same shit will happen cause our underclassmen with finally get their break. I'm gonna drink like it was candy, I'm gonna smoke until my packs are dry; And I'll sit, wishing someone will come and pick me up like I have with them.

I got my twin sized bed sheets this week. It hit me hard that I was gonna leave home for good this time. I'm gonna be "around" sometime soon, if there is a party, I wanna join, just to show everyone I'm human like I am suppose to be.

My survival knife isn't as sharp as it use to be, but then again my scars were just from brushburns my knife left behind. What a way to try and kill myself, with a survival knife...but they say we fall down so we can get up, but like you I don't wanna get up, will you stay with me? just lie down and watch the clouds? we don't have to move, I like to stay still sometimes, it stops my blood from flowing.

You say you're nothing, but nothing will come out from nothing. But I'm something and I get nothing for working so hard. I keep on hearing from friends that they wish they can change their lives, that they can change everything wrong. I wish I could go back in time, cause I'm the reason everything is wrong.

I'm sorry... you never did anything wrong... I ran away... if it wasn't for me jumping to go back home you would never be at this point... just don't say its your fault, or it never was mine CAUSE IT'S MY FAULT YOUR LIKE THIS, AND I WILL TAKE IT TO MY GRAVE!

[kaorufeiniel]

I've wanted to get up, but it's too much work to keep getting up, I'm tired of working and failing, now I must refuse to fall.
we have to change our lives sometimes, for humans aren't meant to be static, no matter how we might at times long for such a simple state. To live is to improve, to learn, to be, thes are things I feel I must do, these are the things that lead me to fail but I continue on once more, as always. To be static is boring, it's too easy, and nothing is worth having if it isn't worth working for.
Trust me, I was like this long before you. It's not only others who've made me likething, I haven't worked to stop it as I'd like to think I have, instead embracing it for longer than I should. The shadows are tempting, but I have no intentions of returning to them more often, or longer than I need to. It's a little bit of everyone's fault, some for hurting me, some for helping me too much, some for ignoring me and forgetting I was there, some for never realizing it. This is what has shaped me and will continue to, you are part of it, but not the whole of it. Take what guilt you want though it's not all your own to claim.

[kaorufeiniel]

Thats soo right, both of you, GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND DO SOMETHING!!!!! *smacks* You make your own worth!!!! If your ugly, its because you say you are!! If your popular, its because you make yourself!!! Even I can make myself the top predator on the food chain, and you know why?? BECAUSE I SAY I CAN!!!! I wish I had learned it earlier in life, or else I probably wouldnt have abused myself soo much, so Mallory, get life together today, and live like there's no tommorow. You will be much happier that way, I think.