Some Wine sipping and writing time....
I am sitting on my oh so comfy couch and listening to the Dr's. I am relaxing before I have to run and get my love! I love this live journal thing. I have an open forum to express myself. Where do I draw the line and what are my boundaries? Do I really say how I am feeling? Knowing that the very words I write reach the public? Meh...
I have a little wine in me.. I am feeling wonderful, relaxed and grounded.
It makes me really sad inside how people change from one minute to the next. How people can be so real one moment and the so fake the next. Everyone always says the words: If I have a problem with you I will let you know. How false is this? This is so VERY false. I hear people being two faced all of the time. I can say I love you until I am blue in the face. It does not mean anything if my actions are fitting my words.
I had an issue with a chica at school. I told her as much. It was ok. We talked and then we were ok.
I suppose with each season we shed certain things... Habits, attitudes, foods, friends and clothes!
I keep cycling through all of these things. With each season I learn a new lesson. I keep forgetting my lesson. Not to give so much of myself as a friend or as a person. Keep a little for me. I keep giving so much of myself and then when these seasons change and these friends change, I have lost myself. It gets tiring and wears me down! I am guarded. Very guarded. If you do not know me, I may come of as a bitch to you. Walls are up, attitude is full on and I am closed as tight as a shell. I will NOT let you in until I feel I can trust that you will not hurt me. I can only take so much pain in one life time. Really people. I make the decision to let everyone in. I cannot place blame there. I can only place blame on the shallow bullshit that occurs. If we take a step back and evaluate each aspect of our life, all of our friends. Our lives emanate smelly bullshit. Work, school, home everywhere.
I have made the conscious decision to cut all of the toxic drama out of my life. I need to take care of me. At the same time, not forgetting to treat each one of my friends as if they were the most precious thing on earth. We all need to start taking better care of each other. Be kind, give hugs, love and support each other. It does not happen so often. I love each person I meet and come into contact with. As times goes on and I see people's true colors, I get sad. I need to remember, people are not always what they seem to be. Facades are so popular. How sad.
I have no idea if this makes any sense. Ha Ha. I am rambling. Watching TV , having severe A.D.D. moments and sipping on wine...
I will write more later....
As far as the wedding goes... I think I found my dress... I am so blessed to have the friends I do. I love my friends so very much. The wedding will be a blast and we will party. I am blessed to have my best friend as my fiance. It is amazing how things can change in a matter of 3 months...
I have a little wine in me.. I am feeling wonderful, relaxed and grounded.
It makes me really sad inside how people change from one minute to the next. How people can be so real one moment and the so fake the next. Everyone always says the words: If I have a problem with you I will let you know. How false is this? This is so VERY false. I hear people being two faced all of the time. I can say I love you until I am blue in the face. It does not mean anything if my actions are fitting my words.
I had an issue with a chica at school. I told her as much. It was ok. We talked and then we were ok.
I suppose with each season we shed certain things... Habits, attitudes, foods, friends and clothes!
I keep cycling through all of these things. With each season I learn a new lesson. I keep forgetting my lesson. Not to give so much of myself as a friend or as a person. Keep a little for me. I keep giving so much of myself and then when these seasons change and these friends change, I have lost myself. It gets tiring and wears me down! I am guarded. Very guarded. If you do not know me, I may come of as a bitch to you. Walls are up, attitude is full on and I am closed as tight as a shell. I will NOT let you in until I feel I can trust that you will not hurt me. I can only take so much pain in one life time. Really people. I make the decision to let everyone in. I cannot place blame there. I can only place blame on the shallow bullshit that occurs. If we take a step back and evaluate each aspect of our life, all of our friends. Our lives emanate smelly bullshit. Work, school, home everywhere.
I have made the conscious decision to cut all of the toxic drama out of my life. I need to take care of me. At the same time, not forgetting to treat each one of my friends as if they were the most precious thing on earth. We all need to start taking better care of each other. Be kind, give hugs, love and support each other. It does not happen so often. I love each person I meet and come into contact with. As times goes on and I see people's true colors, I get sad. I need to remember, people are not always what they seem to be. Facades are so popular. How sad.
I have no idea if this makes any sense. Ha Ha. I am rambling. Watching TV , having severe A.D.D. moments and sipping on wine...
I will write more later....
As far as the wedding goes... I think I found my dress... I am so blessed to have the friends I do. I love my friends so very much. The wedding will be a blast and we will party. I am blessed to have my best friend as my fiance. It is amazing how things can change in a matter of 3 months...