Sudden Xander fic-a-palooza
First for Gillo's birthday, and now in lieu of sleeping...
Xand-o-matic
Timing: Season Four, just before something blue.
Characters: Xander-n-Willow
It was a lot easier when a twinkie solved everything. And now? Dominoes was stretching the ol’ working man’s budget, but this was Willow. Her Xand-o-matic had better be in proper working order. Resolve face? Zzzt. Orders followed. Giddy giggle? Zzzzt. Snoopy dance. Sad face? Junk food, bar keep, junk food all ‘round.
But a boyfriend-losing Willow was apparently a whole other setting. A whole new, scary setting because Willow didn’t have new settings. Unless, of course, it was some kind of learning and growing in the sticky womb of higher education. OK. Sometimes, Xander and word pictures are mortal enemies.
But even a sticky red Willow would be better than this mysterious, silent, mopey creature picking at cold old cheese in the box and half-pouting. How are you supposed to react to a half-pout? Not a pout, not NOT a pout.
Aha! Inspiration, at last. A half-pout was for chemistry experiments gone wrong and 99s on math quizzes. Great mysteries in the Life of Willow. There’s a setting for this after all.
She lifts miserable eyes and finally, finally she’s going to say something about it. “At least,” she says, eyes glued on a flickering ad for sugar-free nutri-drinks, “I don’t have diabetes.”
That setting? Maybe not so much.
Xand-o-matic
Timing: Season Four, just before something blue.
Characters: Xander-n-Willow
It was a lot easier when a twinkie solved everything. And now? Dominoes was stretching the ol’ working man’s budget, but this was Willow. Her Xand-o-matic had better be in proper working order. Resolve face? Zzzt. Orders followed. Giddy giggle? Zzzzt. Snoopy dance. Sad face? Junk food, bar keep, junk food all ‘round.
But a boyfriend-losing Willow was apparently a whole other setting. A whole new, scary setting because Willow didn’t have new settings. Unless, of course, it was some kind of learning and growing in the sticky womb of higher education. OK. Sometimes, Xander and word pictures are mortal enemies.
But even a sticky red Willow would be better than this mysterious, silent, mopey creature picking at cold old cheese in the box and half-pouting. How are you supposed to react to a half-pout? Not a pout, not NOT a pout.
Aha! Inspiration, at last. A half-pout was for chemistry experiments gone wrong and 99s on math quizzes. Great mysteries in the Life of Willow. There’s a setting for this after all.
She lifts miserable eyes and finally, finally she’s going to say something about it. “At least,” she says, eyes glued on a flickering ad for sugar-free nutri-drinks, “I don’t have diabetes.”
That setting? Maybe not so much.