blah blah life blows!!!!
Dead to the world, dead to myself. the flowers wither and ice melts away. Life is only a flash brought before ones eye. I am only a face in the crowd, just another sin. Another person waiting to die, left on the ground to rot. I'm just another loser, put down by all my peers. I fight yet i fail, i fly yet, i fall. I'm worthless, I'm no one. I cry but no one sees, I scream but no one hears. I want to get out of this place! I am tired of all this pain. If i could only go back to elementary youth. I miss the innocences and numbness to the world all around. Now i live in an ocean filled with all my own tears.
Awakening
Sometimes I wake from a sound sleep
And wonder if I have died, for I rise effortless
And seem more to float than to lift myself
From my bed and the house
Is a silent as a tomb must be.
I must remind myself that death is uninterrupted
But sleep is not and a glance at the clock which reveals
It is slightly after 1:00 a.m.
It is as if when my death comes
I will somehow be unaware of my passing
And it will be somehow unbeknownst to me
And revealed as an unexpected surprise.
The story will be recounted
With all the per functionary phrases and
Obligatory exclamations:
"Honest, I was minding my own business
And all of a sudden I was mortified."
In the hallway, somewhere between the
Bedroom and the kitchen, the words of
A Gospel comes to mind:
"He who loves his life will lose it and
He who hates his life will find it."
I whisper them through the darkness,
Like a chant, an incantation:
"I hate my life.
I hate my life.
I hate my life."
Well i decided to go tot prom with Daniel. He is comming down tomorrow and im not really sure what to think , i mean i do love him with all my heart but lately we have not been so "together" if you know what i mean. We barely talk on the phone and he is 4 hours away. It hurts to think that he is cheating because so many people always tell me " how do you know he is not cheating on you" that just makes me think and wonder and jump to conclusions i don't want to do that! SO STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its so weird how people can be, people thinking that they can just walk all over you and take advantage of you! and then turn around and want your help. People are two faced. And girls they always hate each other why?????
I dont remember where i heard it but it was once said : "women would rule the world if they didnt hate each other so much" which i really do believe that. WEll i gatta go to bed i have more packing to do :(
Awakening
Sometimes I wake from a sound sleep
And wonder if I have died, for I rise effortless
And seem more to float than to lift myself
From my bed and the house
Is a silent as a tomb must be.
I must remind myself that death is uninterrupted
But sleep is not and a glance at the clock which reveals
It is slightly after 1:00 a.m.
It is as if when my death comes
I will somehow be unaware of my passing
And it will be somehow unbeknownst to me
And revealed as an unexpected surprise.
The story will be recounted
With all the per functionary phrases and
Obligatory exclamations:
"Honest, I was minding my own business
And all of a sudden I was mortified."
In the hallway, somewhere between the
Bedroom and the kitchen, the words of
A Gospel comes to mind:
"He who loves his life will lose it and
He who hates his life will find it."
I whisper them through the darkness,
Like a chant, an incantation:
"I hate my life.
I hate my life.
I hate my life."
Well i decided to go tot prom with Daniel. He is comming down tomorrow and im not really sure what to think , i mean i do love him with all my heart but lately we have not been so "together" if you know what i mean. We barely talk on the phone and he is 4 hours away. It hurts to think that he is cheating because so many people always tell me " how do you know he is not cheating on you" that just makes me think and wonder and jump to conclusions i don't want to do that! SO STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its so weird how people can be, people thinking that they can just walk all over you and take advantage of you! and then turn around and want your help. People are two faced. And girls they always hate each other why?????
I dont remember where i heard it but it was once said : "women would rule the world if they didnt hate each other so much" which i really do believe that. WEll i gatta go to bed i have more packing to do :(