So am I single?
Brandon and I discussed things further and I eventually dug it out of him that he feels like that I'm more of a project then a girlfriend. He wants me to be his girlfriend, not someone he needs to work on. I asked him if he was still my boyfriend and he said that I'm not ready for a relationship just yet. He wants one with me but says I need to fix myself and he can't be the one to do it for me.
I didn't cry. I understood. As much as I want to cry, I can't. I'm being selfish and I expect others to do things for me. I realise that I sometimes don't see the feelings of other people and can't really comprehend even the slightest constructive criticism. I want people to just take my hand and make everything wrong become right. Money has been the biggest issue as of now, mostly from commuting back and forth from his house 60 miles away and driving to school. I had to drop out of school because I couldn't afford the credit card payments on my card that I had to put tuition on and gas. I've heard nothing back from financial aid since putting in my application in April.
I asked him if he noticed a difference between me when I first started dating him in April to now. He said I was shy and very withdrawn and quiet to begin, and opened up some more only to become an emotional wreck. He says he wants to help me but he can't always help me and that I need to work on things.
I told him I had been seeing a psychiatrist when we begun dating. The guy was very old and was getting hip replacement surgery; meaning he would be out of the office for a few months. I thought I would be fine in those few months but I haven't been. I said to him that I was actually talking to my mom about going to see someone new; getting a referral from my doctor.
I asked him if he came across someone new would he date them. He said he hoped so. And I asked him would there be hope for me still to be in a relationship with him. He said that with the distance and the gas prices it was almost impossible to say yes there was, but he said something will work out.
I said to him: I still need to work on loving myself before I can love someone else. I thought I had reached that point but apparently I hadn't. I had to go back to work at that point because I was just on my 15 minute break and ended up being 30 minutes.
I am very sad but I understand. I so badly want to cry, but what good is crying going to do for me?
I didn't cry. I understood. As much as I want to cry, I can't. I'm being selfish and I expect others to do things for me. I realise that I sometimes don't see the feelings of other people and can't really comprehend even the slightest constructive criticism. I want people to just take my hand and make everything wrong become right. Money has been the biggest issue as of now, mostly from commuting back and forth from his house 60 miles away and driving to school. I had to drop out of school because I couldn't afford the credit card payments on my card that I had to put tuition on and gas. I've heard nothing back from financial aid since putting in my application in April.
I asked him if he noticed a difference between me when I first started dating him in April to now. He said I was shy and very withdrawn and quiet to begin, and opened up some more only to become an emotional wreck. He says he wants to help me but he can't always help me and that I need to work on things.
I told him I had been seeing a psychiatrist when we begun dating. The guy was very old and was getting hip replacement surgery; meaning he would be out of the office for a few months. I thought I would be fine in those few months but I haven't been. I said to him that I was actually talking to my mom about going to see someone new; getting a referral from my doctor.
I asked him if he came across someone new would he date them. He said he hoped so. And I asked him would there be hope for me still to be in a relationship with him. He said that with the distance and the gas prices it was almost impossible to say yes there was, but he said something will work out.
I said to him: I still need to work on loving myself before I can love someone else. I thought I had reached that point but apparently I hadn't. I had to go back to work at that point because I was just on my 15 minute break and ended up being 30 minutes.
I am very sad but I understand. I so badly want to cry, but what good is crying going to do for me?