(no subject)
I need to figure out what I want my next direction to be. I've written about this before: I think most people have a set goal they follow and pursue it until they achieve it. But I just seem to drift.
The other thing is that I'm aware that I'm not going to live forever. What do I want to do with my life? Yes, I know that in the zen sense, this is my life and I should be present in the moment. But if I were to die tomorrow would I be able to say that I achieved what I wanted? No way.
So I guess I have to figure out what I want and pursue it. I think I really want a drastic change, but the kinds of changes I want would disrupt or maybe even break up my home life. Since I know that's not really an option I have to work within what I have. I want to be known for something, and I want to have a career that fulfills me. What I'm doing now definitely isn't it, and it doesn't pay particularly well either - if I'm not going to be pursuing a dream, I should be at least earning a decent enough wage that allows me to pay off my student loans and save for retirement, right?
But I just keep doing the same things over and over. I know that I want to make my living from writing, but I'd much rather write op/ed pieces instead of consumer writing. I don't even know how to do that, though, much less become really well known for doing it. Should I try doing The Writer's Way morning pages to get myself in the writing habit again? Research it more? Discipline myself to write one essay (in the form of a blog entry maybe?) about current events or something?
The other thing is that I'm aware that I'm not going to live forever. What do I want to do with my life? Yes, I know that in the zen sense, this is my life and I should be present in the moment. But if I were to die tomorrow would I be able to say that I achieved what I wanted? No way.
So I guess I have to figure out what I want and pursue it. I think I really want a drastic change, but the kinds of changes I want would disrupt or maybe even break up my home life. Since I know that's not really an option I have to work within what I have. I want to be known for something, and I want to have a career that fulfills me. What I'm doing now definitely isn't it, and it doesn't pay particularly well either - if I'm not going to be pursuing a dream, I should be at least earning a decent enough wage that allows me to pay off my student loans and save for retirement, right?
But I just keep doing the same things over and over. I know that I want to make my living from writing, but I'd much rather write op/ed pieces instead of consumer writing. I don't even know how to do that, though, much less become really well known for doing it. Should I try doing The Writer's Way morning pages to get myself in the writing habit again? Research it more? Discipline myself to write one essay (in the form of a blog entry maybe?) about current events or something?