Topsy turvy day
Today was physically and emotionally draining. It started when I pulled into my favorite parking space, overshot and ended up with the left wheel over the curb and the left axle resting on the curb. I threw it into reverse and just ended up revving my engine. FUCK!!!! Ok, so I raced over to the gas station to see if any of their mechanics were around to help me out. The manager had informed me that he had sent all the mechanics home for the year about twenty minutes ago. I didn't have AAA or money to pay a tow truck, so I thanked him and went back to look at the problem more in depth. The left wheel was in the dirt and getting no traction and there was a bunch of river rock stacked up around the tree that the planter had been made for. :::Ding!::: I rumaged in the trunk and pulled out the jack and proceeded to jack the car up. When there was enough room underneath the tire, I started cramming all the river rocks that would fit underneath and behind the tire. While I was doing this, I didn't realize that my pants and shoes were getting dirty (thank goodness I was wearing black pants and shoes). When I felt that the tire had enough support, I let the car down and moved the jack out of the way. I then hopped in my car, started it up and eased it into reverse. SUCCESS!!!! I freed my car and parked it. I then jogged over to work and made a bee line for the bathroom to get the dirt of my hands and pants. Three minutes later I emerged cleaner, but shaking. I realized at that moment that a lot of adrenaline was coursing through my system. I tried doing some calm breathing exercises and that helped a little. I set off to get set up for my tables that day. I noticed my first hour that I had an extra difficult student assigned for a make-up (oh goody). Thankfully, only one of my three students showed. When he sat down, I immediately let him know that I was sitting on a short fuse and that he shouldn't pull any of his usual antics today. He agreed to a one-day truce. About twenty minutes into my first hour, a particularly difficult student walked in and gave me one of those mittens that Starbuck's is putting their gift cards in. I was really touched and almost broke down and cried. I pulled myself together and thanked him, then went back to my solo student. The rest of the hour was fine and I managed to calm down a lot.
The second hour was a demonstration of my ADD. I couldn't focus with three students at the table and the two reading students ended up correcting a lot of their own work while I went over some things with my writing student. When that hour was over, I finished up one binder and left the others for tomorrow. I needed to be around kinky people that would understand emotional vulnerability. Off to the munch.
When I got to the munch, I found an old friend there that I hadn't seen in ages. We caught up and I shared something with her that I've been keeping under wraps for a while. Now I feel more comfortable sharing it with others (but not here). My stun gun got a bit of use and I even managed to shock the hell out of my hands on accident. (That'll teach me to play with it while engrossed in a conversation.) There were a lot of people there and I didn't get my full face time with S, but I shared the car incident with her when I walked her back to her car. S'okay, I'll see her tomorrow and catch up more if I need to. My legs ache and it's difficult to walk. On my way home, I tried to define this feeling and I came up with the perfect description. It feels like a hard limit I didn't know I had was breached. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and be held, but I know I can't do that right now. I have positive, computer fixing activities planned tomorrow with two friends and I'm gonna brave shopping somewhere on Sunday for some last minute gifts (I know where I need to go and what I need to get.). I am okay.
The second hour was a demonstration of my ADD. I couldn't focus with three students at the table and the two reading students ended up correcting a lot of their own work while I went over some things with my writing student. When that hour was over, I finished up one binder and left the others for tomorrow. I needed to be around kinky people that would understand emotional vulnerability. Off to the munch.
When I got to the munch, I found an old friend there that I hadn't seen in ages. We caught up and I shared something with her that I've been keeping under wraps for a while. Now I feel more comfortable sharing it with others (but not here). My stun gun got a bit of use and I even managed to shock the hell out of my hands on accident. (That'll teach me to play with it while engrossed in a conversation.) There were a lot of people there and I didn't get my full face time with S, but I shared the car incident with her when I walked her back to her car. S'okay, I'll see her tomorrow and catch up more if I need to. My legs ache and it's difficult to walk. On my way home, I tried to define this feeling and I came up with the perfect description. It feels like a hard limit I didn't know I had was breached. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and be held, but I know I can't do that right now. I have positive, computer fixing activities planned tomorrow with two friends and I'm gonna brave shopping somewhere on Sunday for some last minute gifts (I know where I need to go and what I need to get.). I am okay.