Meh.

[conflictdswitch]

Tonight was difficult for me. Even now my thoughts are all jumbled and mixed up. The cookies went off alright, even though I still couldn't keep them from spreading. I skipped out on getting food beforehand, which might have lead to my being out of sorts a little later. Time and time again, I feel like I'm having a relapse of happy clam syndrome from high school. I think it was a mistake skipping out on food beforehand. I didn't expect it to go as long as it did. Several times I felt myself zoning out and sorting through the multitude of thoughts rattling around in my head. One thought that kept bubbling to the surface was from a while ago. Several times a long-time play parter of mine has expressed an interest in shaving my head as part of a scene. Tonight, I thought about taking him up on the offer. It will probably take a few back and forth discussions and negotiations to hammer things out. Maybe we could make an event out of it. Thoughts anyone?

Last month I put forward a to-do list with two things on it: yard work and cleaning my room. To date, most of the yard work is done. The remainder should be finished Wednesday afternoon. Nothing got done on my room. I'm going to officially ask for help with this. Two weeks ago, I mentally added increased initiative to the to-do list as well. Some attempts have been successful, others have fallen flat. I didn't retreat when confronted with a failed attempt (which is an improvement in my book) but it's still frustrating. I just get so worked up seeing how easy it is for everyone around me, yet here I am struggling with basic social skills.