Falling asleep during an avalanche
A significant allotment of my mind wishes I could be swept under a thick, cozy blanket of drugged numbness and comfort. I’m unaccustomed to dealing with this magnitude of sadness without the aid of chemicals. I will admit, I have returned to smoking marijuana at night but only at night. It comforts my wounded mind, remedies those constant, reoccurring nightmares of a lost love.
I’m just an impalpable ghost to you. Unseen, invisible. Nothing more than a quiet haunting, like a caustic, annoying fly buzzing around your head, that just won’t die, not yet. A bad memory.
I wish I could be as cold and as sterile as you.
But you had one foot out the door the entirety of our existence together.
And here I am, falling apart, disintegrating in front of your eyes, screaming, shaking and drinking myself to death. But you don’t care, you don’t see me. It’s like falling asleep during an avalanche. Doomed.
I’m just an impalpable ghost to you. Unseen, invisible. Nothing more than a quiet haunting, like a caustic, annoying fly buzzing around your head, that just won’t die, not yet. A bad memory.
I wish I could be as cold and as sterile as you.
But you had one foot out the door the entirety of our existence together.
And here I am, falling apart, disintegrating in front of your eyes, screaming, shaking and drinking myself to death. But you don’t care, you don’t see me. It’s like falling asleep during an avalanche. Doomed.