when will this all end
mike = my life
my life has completely turned around since he's been in my life and for some reason he has reason to be suspicious of me because of my drug past.
i made a decision with him that i was going to quit my old lifestyle to live positivly and have a healty relationship. i didn't just quit the old lifestyle for him, but for us, and most importantly, me as well.
although i am living a drug-free lifestyle now, he can't get over my past. on halloween night (before i'd say we were officially together, but that's besides the point) i went out with my cousin stephanie and her friend mike. later on in the night we went to his friends house who i saw for maybe 2 sec, and then some other guy showed up who ended up sitting next to me on the couch. i didn't know his name or anything about him. stephanie wanted to take a picture of me looking rediculously retarded in my gangster costume with mikes friend. i said ok and she said lean in a bit and i did. i leaned over and threw up a peace sign. we looked at the picture, and it was blurry, so we took another one. it was almost identacle to the 1st pic, and again...turned out blurry so i told her to just get closer to us, i sat up more on the end of the couch, leaned in once again to take the photo. big deal right?
so mike fixes my computer for me again and takes my hard drives to work. he transfers my photos onto my computer and for some reason keeps them on his computer at work, leaving him to go through my photos (which was fine with me, i have nothing at all to hide). he ran across the 3 photos of me and this stranger, prints them off, and brings them to me when he got out of work last night to acuse me of laying on this dudes chest. don't get me wrong, it clearly looks in the picture like that could be going on, but it was a 30 sec. period where i simply leaned over and threw up a peace sign for the photo and that was it. because of that photo he thinks i was messing around with this stranger that night. he proceeded to tell me that he doesn't want to be with me because he cannot trust me.
i cried, and sobbed and threw a rageing fit. i knew i wasn't wrong this time. i have done nothing wrong, and i would never think of doing something so foolish when i love mike to fucking death.
i don't know what will fix this. my friends know the truth, my family knows, and for some reason he won't believe a word i have to say.
how can i make this better? what can i do to fix this? it's worth fixing to me. if he can't trust me because of what's happened in his past i want to help him get through it. although i am hurt still by our past arguments and present assumptions/suspicions, i still love mike through all of this, and i want to work it out.
where the hell do i begin? i've been praying, and praying...
my life has completely turned around since he's been in my life and for some reason he has reason to be suspicious of me because of my drug past.
i made a decision with him that i was going to quit my old lifestyle to live positivly and have a healty relationship. i didn't just quit the old lifestyle for him, but for us, and most importantly, me as well.
although i am living a drug-free lifestyle now, he can't get over my past. on halloween night (before i'd say we were officially together, but that's besides the point) i went out with my cousin stephanie and her friend mike. later on in the night we went to his friends house who i saw for maybe 2 sec, and then some other guy showed up who ended up sitting next to me on the couch. i didn't know his name or anything about him. stephanie wanted to take a picture of me looking rediculously retarded in my gangster costume with mikes friend. i said ok and she said lean in a bit and i did. i leaned over and threw up a peace sign. we looked at the picture, and it was blurry, so we took another one. it was almost identacle to the 1st pic, and again...turned out blurry so i told her to just get closer to us, i sat up more on the end of the couch, leaned in once again to take the photo. big deal right?
so mike fixes my computer for me again and takes my hard drives to work. he transfers my photos onto my computer and for some reason keeps them on his computer at work, leaving him to go through my photos (which was fine with me, i have nothing at all to hide). he ran across the 3 photos of me and this stranger, prints them off, and brings them to me when he got out of work last night to acuse me of laying on this dudes chest. don't get me wrong, it clearly looks in the picture like that could be going on, but it was a 30 sec. period where i simply leaned over and threw up a peace sign for the photo and that was it. because of that photo he thinks i was messing around with this stranger that night. he proceeded to tell me that he doesn't want to be with me because he cannot trust me.
i cried, and sobbed and threw a rageing fit. i knew i wasn't wrong this time. i have done nothing wrong, and i would never think of doing something so foolish when i love mike to fucking death.
i don't know what will fix this. my friends know the truth, my family knows, and for some reason he won't believe a word i have to say.
how can i make this better? what can i do to fix this? it's worth fixing to me. if he can't trust me because of what's happened in his past i want to help him get through it. although i am hurt still by our past arguments and present assumptions/suspicions, i still love mike through all of this, and i want to work it out.
where the hell do i begin? i've been praying, and praying...