The Forbidden Life
Title: The Forbidden Life
Chapter: 7
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Richard/Kahlan
Characters: Kahlan, Richard and Zedd, Cara, Others (Original)
Timeline: After S2
Summary: After marrying, Richard and Kahlan try to begin their lives together, something happens to jeperdize it all. Decisions will be made and allies will be lost. Nothing is as it seems.
Word Count: 3,612
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING
Author's Note: So this I started while I was in the hospital. So it has moments of crazy, happy and agnst, but I hope that you all still enjoy! It's pratcially a novel, so I hope you all stick around to see what happens! <3
<3 Comments are awesome peeps! <3
The moon was shining through the windows, lighting the way for them. Kahlan moved swiftly through the halls of the palace, following Richard closely as he looked around to make sure they weren't seen. She prayed they would continue sleeping, knowing that one sound would probably wake every person and she didn't want to have to fight their way out. He froze, making her almost run into him before she too, froze.
"Did you honestly believe that we would not know? You are betraying your people; your own kind!" The woman standing before them crossed her arms, grinning at the sight before her. She was still in the clothes she had worn the day before, making it known that she knew they would try to escape and was ready for them. She wasn't alone. Surrounding the family was a dozen men of the army that Richard and Cara had been training. They now wore the colors of Aydindril, telling them who they worked for now. Fear filled Kahlan instantly. From what Richard had told her, they were skilled and would probably kill them before they had a moment to fight back. "We knew you would run. You're not going until you give me the child."
"You're not going to touch our son," Richard growled, stepping in front of Kahlan, who clung to the children.
"We knew you wouldn't have the stomach to do what was needed. As head of our council, I sent someone to do it for you, but you hid too well." She laughed and pushed her light, brown hair over her shoulder. "We thought you would hide in fear, but then you brought him to us."
"How could you know?"
"Our prophets. They told us the moment he was born. He was standing in the crowd when you arrived. The people will never allow you to keep him." Tightening his hold on his sword, Richard stepped forward and nearly hissed. "The child must be killed. If we allow it to grow and fully develop his magic, we will all be taken."
"How can you talk about him that way? Have you ever thought that it's not the child's fault? Maybe the last male Confessor was driven to his actions by the insanity of the High Council."
"How dare you put out the blame to us! The children cannot be trusted."
Shaking his head, he motioned to Kahlan. "Why not the women? What makes them more trustworthy? They have the same magic, but for some reason, you never began murdering them. Why?"
"They can be trained, shown what to be-"
"Manipulated! You're so afraid that you'll lose your power over the Confessors." He began to laugh, surprising Kahlan and the others. "You've never had any power over them and you haven't seen it. You're here because Kahlan allows you to be; because she believes that it's just, but I'm starting to disagree. You are power hungry, Kaitlin, you all are. You don't care who you hurt to keep control and I'm not going to stand by and allow you to treat us that way."
"Us? You are not one of them."
Kahlan stared at the back of his head, her heart pounding violently as he spoke. "I may not have their magic, but in my heart, I am one of them. You will not hurt any of us."
The woman crossed her arms with a sigh, "Take them all to the dungeon and then bring me the boy. We will deal with the others once he is dead."
Kahlan tightened her hold on their children and pushed her back against the stone wall as Richard moved backward to be closer to her. He looked over the men, trying to see who would attack first. "I will kill you all if I have to!"
The men didn't move, "Get them now!"
Running her own eyes over the men, she tried to see who would obey her order, but none moved. Kaitlin turned around and grabbed one of the men's spare knives. "You will all be punished for defying me! Get them now!"
"Nobody touches The Mother Confessor, Lord Rahl or the baby Confessors!" The men froze instantly at his words.
Stunned, the head of the council looked over at the man who had spoken. "What?"
"He's right. The child deserves a chance."
"You can't trust him! He's married a Confessor! He could be under her magic!"
"He gave us a chance; he took us in, saw something better in all of us and did his best to teach us. He has proven himself to be trusted. You have not. You're first order was for us to kill both children, but you lie to them both. You have no loyalty from us."
Kahlan pushed past her husband and walked toward the woman she knew. "You were going to murder our children?" The other woman said nothing, only tightened her hold on the knife in her hand. Turning toward the man who had spoken before, Kahlan waited. "Speak freely."
"Yes, Mother Confessor. We were told that both children were to be killed. You were meant to watch before she-"
It happened quickly, she couldn't be sure how she knew it was happening. Dropping to her knees, she shielded their children as Kaitlin threw herself at her in a desperate move to murder the children in her arms. A light cry of pain left her lips for a brief moment as the men around her seized the older woman. Richard had her in his arms within seconds, pushing his hand against her side to stop the bleeding as one of the men took their children into his arms.
Looking up at him, she smiled. "I'm fine, it's not deep."
"It's bleeding."
Looking up to the man holding their children, she swallowed. "Why did you help us?"
"It wasn't just your children she ordered us to kill. She planned it once she learned of their birth. Lord Rahl had to die to ensure that it would never happen again."
"Do you not believe our son to be a danger?"
"We grew up in fear of Mord'Sith, but you keep one around; she's helped train us, make us better warriors. We would be fools to think that your son would not be the same. The moment you left, she made us swear our loyalty to Aydindril; that D'Hara would no longer be separate and if we refused to join her, we would... From what Lord Rahl has said about you, you would never allow it to happen. You wouldn't take everything the people have for yourself and for that; we are loyal to you as well."
Standing, Kahlan laid her hand on his arm. "Thank you." Looking the man in eyes, she stepped closer. "Are you Paul, John Mathers son?"
Shocked by her question, he nodded. "Yes, ma'am. How did you know?"
Smiling warmly at the man, she gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "You look like him; have the same eyes."
"I'm sorry Mother Confessor, but how did you know him? He died many years ago."
Richard watched her carefully, waiting for her answer. Swallowing the small lump in her throat, she looked down to her children in his arms. "He rescued my sister and I once. I'll never forget what he did for us." She met his eyes once again and nodded. "I was there when he was buried. He was a great man."
The man smiled and took in a deep breath and bowed. "Thank you Mother Confessor."
Taking her children into her own arms, Kahlan bowed her head, surprising everyone in the room except Richard. The Mother Confessor bowed to no one, had no requirement to show respect or humility to, but it didn't stop her. "Thank you." Turning around, she motioned out her arms, silently asking Richard to take one of their children. "What are we going to do?"
He shook his head instantly. "I don't know, but we can't leave her in charge of the council."
Lowering her voice, she leaned closer to him so that no one else would hear. Richard stared at the ground as he listened, nodding his head a few times before looking up at the men. They all stared at them, waiting for their orders. Kaitlin continued to struggle against them, trying to get free and finish what she had started. They pushed a gag into her mouth, keeping her slightly quieter.
After a few moments, Kahlan pulled back and waited for him to respond. He smiled a small smile and nodded. She turned back to Paul and stepped forward. "Do you like being a part of this army?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"What if you were given something else, something more?"
He was confused, unsure as to what was happening or what he should say. "However I can serve-"
"You would be doing more than serving."
"I don't understand."
Smiling, Kahlan looked from him to Kaitlin and back again. "Would you be willing to take her place? Be Head of the Council?"
He stumbled back in shock and shook his head. "I'm sorry Mother Confessor, but I do not know anything in that matter."
"None of us do. We only do our best and we could use someone like you."
"I'm sorry, but I don't believe that I am the right person."
Nodding in understanding, she stepped back. "All right. We will find someone else."
"I'm sorry, Mother Confessor."
"There is no need to be sorry, I understand. I will however, ask your opinion on something else." Paul nodded with permission, almost afraid of what she would ask next. "In your opinion, what should we do with her?" Seeing the look on his face, she laid her hand on his arm once again and smiled warmly. "You can speak freely."
"At first thought, I would suggest the punishment she had for you, but I do not believe that is just. The dungeon maybe? It would allow you to keep an eye on her without her corrupting any more of your people."
"He's right, but we can't be sure that she hasn't already spoken with the other council members. They may have something else planned."
Looking over to Richard, she began rocking the child in her arms as he awoke. "I don't think so. If she knew that there was another plan, I don't think that she would have tried to do it herself. She wouldn't have attacked and risk her own life. The others may know about it, but I don't think they planned this with her. If they were, why aren't they here as well?" Looking down to the floor, she sighed, wishing that it were true. "If they have something planned, I would like to know before we walk into it."
Stepping closer to her, Richard pressed the side of his arm against hers, needing to feel her in some way. "Cara will interrogate the rest of the council in the morning. You and I can stay here until we know."
"And if we're killed in our sleep?"
"I won't let anything happen to you."
It was in his voice, the calmness was almost undeniable as she met his eyes. "I know you won't. I have to confess her."
He was shaking his head, knowing that it would be hard for her to confess her old friend. "You shouldn't have to, Kahlan, she's your friend."
Shaking her head, she sighed heavily. "No, she's just a woman who tried to murder my family. Here, hold him for a moment?" Handing him their son, she swallowed back the ache that filled her. Turning toward the other woman, she pushed her shoulders back met her eyes. "The punishment for your treason is confession."
The walls shook with the release of her magic, waking everyone within the palace. Kaitlin fell to her knees with a gasp and a cry, suddenly trying to beg Kahlan to forgive her through the gag. For a brief moment, everyone in the room saw the pain on her face. The Mother Confessor unable to hide it quick enough as she looked down at the woman she would have sworn would always be on her side. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and then composed herself. She knew they were watching her, waiting to see what happened next. Richard stepped close behind her, grabbing her attention instantly.
"You don't have to do be the one to question her."
"I need answers."
Nodding, he tilted his head in concern. "I know, but I also know how much this hurts you. Cara can question her."
"She wasn't just going to kill our children; she was going to take you away from me too."
He could hear the anger in her voice, see her push back her feelings as she looked into his eyes. She was terrified and if she didn't know the answers to the questions that burned in her mind, she wouldn't sleep. She had been betrayed more than once when it came to her family and she was not going to allow it to happen again. "Please Kahlan, let Cara do it."
Nodding, she blinked quickly trying to fight the tears as she took their children back into her arms. She would never understand how he knew her so well. "All right." Kahlan leaned against the wall just as Cara rounded the corner in high speed. She smiled at the sight, the blonde's hair tangled from waking and rushing toward the release of the magic. Within moments, she was standing at her side wondering what was going on. "Would you question Kaitlin?" The smile on her friends face was expected. There was nothing Cara enjoyed more than getting answers out of an unwilling person. "She's been confessed."
Just as she was about to answer, Richard pulled her by the arm, turning her around to face him. "Take her down to the dungeons. Find out everything you can and then report back to us. She meant to kill us; we want to make sure the food's not poisoned. I want answers before sunup." Without pause, Cara grabbed the council woman and dragged her out of site. Facing his wife, Richard closed the distance between them and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. "You should rest. I'll wake you when she returns."
"I won't be able to sleep until we know. I- I won't be able let him go until I'm sure he's safe."
"I'll hold him. We won't leave you, I promise." Lowering his voice, he grinned as he ran one of his hands down her side. "Or we could go back to our room and not sleep."
She fought the low moan that that attempted to leave her lips. "Richard... We're in the middle of a hallway." She could barely get the words out, her body suddenly responding to his touch with a heated desire.
Pulling back, he motioned for her to begin walking down the hall with his head before giving a polite nod to the army who all tried to hide their knowing smiles and rushing after her.
******
The moonlight peeked through the window, making their room a little brighter than the candles alone. He had lit them all, making sure that they had enough light as their bodies collided. She tried to keep from falling asleep, but once her breath returned to her, she lost the battle. The moment she was asleep, Richard crawled out of bed and pulled on his pants as he walked over to the two small beds that held their sleeping children. As carefully as he could, he lifted them both into his arms and returned to the bed. Just as he promised, he was going to hold onto them until they knew for sure they were safe. Nothing and no one would harm them. Giving a quick glance at Kahlan, he leaned back against the headboard and softly began humming, trying to keep himself calm.
The song he hummed was her favorite, one that never failed to comfort her. He could imagine the story that went along with it, almost able to see her as she heard her mother sing it to her for the first time. He couldn't wait until their children were old enough for Kahlan to teach it to them. The thought brought a wide smile to his face and he knew instantly that she would have the chance. They were going to remain in the palace and with time, the people would grow to care for their children. As the men of the army had, the people too would look past what they've been taught to fear.
The thought crossed his mind more than once. The people of the world were afraid of Confessors and if he had known what she was when they met, would he have had the courage to look past it? He wanted to believe that he would, but the way the people looked at her when they passed sometimes made him wonder. If he didn't have the courage, how could he expect the people to? Shaking his head, he tried to fight his mind, never wanting to think of any possibility of never loving Kahlan. The urge to touch her filled him once again, but he was unable to while holding their children.
Sensing his frustration, she opened her eyes and lifted her head. "What's wrong?" The concern left her face as she looked at their children, sleeping peacefully in his arms.
"Nothing, I-"
Instantly she saw through his prepared lie and sat up. "What?" Forcing a smile, he shook his head and tried to think of something to say. "You're starting to scare me."
"I'm sorry. I was just thinking and I didn't like where it lead me."
"Do you want to share it with me?"
"No," he answered quickly, knowing that if he paused, he would end up telling her. "It's not important enough to burden you with."
"If it burdens you, it's more than important enough for me." Watching him carefully, she waited for him to give in, to tell her what upset him, but he remained silent. "Unless it's about me... Richard what did I do?" Sitting up, she moved quickly to his side and crossed her legs, pulling at the blankets to cover herself.
"You didn't do anything. I- I was thinking about the people and how to help them to see our children differently."
"Other than the fear they were raised to have?"
Nodding, he leaned his head back against the headboard and sighed. "They weren't raised the way I was."
Realization fell over her and for a moment she was sure that her heart stopped. "And you were thinking about if you had been. You were wondering if you would have seen me differently if you knew what I was." He didn't have to answer her, she could tell by the way his jaw tightened that she was right. He couldn't open his eyes; he couldn't look at her while the thoughts once again filled his mind. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I knew better, but I- I couldn't bring myself to tell you."
"It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. I should have told you, but I was selfish."
Opening his eyes, he met hers and tilted his head confused. "You're never selfish."
"I have never been more selfish than with you. Never before had I worked so hard to hide. I thought about telling you, but I-" She licked her lips, trying to find the right words. "Do you remember that town we went through, the one that used the elixirs? When I confessed that man and you saw what happened to him... The way you looked at me- I knew that if I told you, you would always look at me like that. I almost told you anyway, but you seemed to believe that it was a part of me that I could lock away and then Shota said that I would betray you. I thought that I already was. The thoughts that I had, that I- I was monster and couldn't tell you."
"But then I kissed you."
Nodding, she looked away from him. "I had never kissed anyone before. I knew that if I stayed, I would have to tell you, but I couldn't. If I hadn't left, you wouldn't have been captured and tortured by Denna." She sighed, at last ready to answer the question that was on his mind. "If you had known what I could do, we wouldn't be here right now. If you knew, you would be back in Hartland, married and I would be here. If I had told you what I was, you wouldn't have to live like this."
Taking in a deep breath, he whispered her name, wanting her to look at him. She waited for a moment, trying to compose herself first. "If I wasn't here, if I wasn't with you, I wouldn't be happy. Kahlan, loving you has been my reason for everything. Without you, I wouldn't have gotten this far, I wouldn't want to be. You may not have told me, but you didn't have to. From the beginning I knew that you were so much more than dangerous. You and Zedd warned me, but I didn't listen. I had never met anyone like you. Being around you was exhilarating, you were everything- It wouldn't have mattered if you tried to kill me, I would have still fallen in love with you."
She remained silent, staring at him as she waited for her heart to slow. Keeping her secret from him was something she had regretted from the start, hating herself for being so selfish. "Do you wish I told you?"
"No." He smiled widely, knowing the answer was more than true. "The only thing that I have ever wished was that I had found a way to be with you sooner. I've thought about it, hated myself for taking so long, for not being able to show you how much I loved you. No, I don't wish that you told me, I wish that the people could know you the way I do."
Dropping the blanket, Kahlan crawled over him, sitting on her knees beside his thighs. She grabbed his face in her hands and pulled it to hers, kissing him as she suddenly wished their children weren't in his arms so that he could hold her the way that she wanted. He followed her as she leaned back, not wanting to break their kiss. Her tears had fallen against her lips, staining them with the sadness that had created them. He could taste them with each kiss, making him hate himself for hurting her.
The both jumped as Harvey wiggled between them, letting out a loud cry that would soon wake his sister. Taking him into her arms, Kahlan moved to sit on the bed, knowing what it was the child wanted. Instantly, Richard cuddled Sarah to him, rocking her gently in the hopes that she would fall back to sleep. He glanced over to her, watching for a moment as she began to feed their son. The sight made his heart pound.
The goose bumps on her arm caught his attention, making him tear his eyes away from her breasts. Shifting his body, he pulled at the blankets, trying to get them to cover her. Leaning her head back against the headboard, she smiled warmly in thanks as her eyes slowly began to close. He knew her mind was still spinning over his question, wondering if she had somehow betrayed him by not revealing what she was able to do.
"Kahlan, I'm sorry."
She didn't open her eyes as she thought, afraid to look at him. "Me too."
"No, you- Kahlan, I shouldn't have been thinking about it."
"How long have you been thinking about it?" Her eyes opened at his silence, knowing the answer to her own question. "When I told you I was afraid of what would happen to our child." Saying it out loud nearly broke her. She had known something was on his mind, but she never imagined it was that he thought of a life without her, though if she was honest, at times she thought he would be happier that way. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I knew that it was wrong for me to think about it. Kahlan, I never wanted to change what we have, I never wanted to go back and do it over, but I couldn't help but wonder how it would be different."
"Knowing what I know now, if I was able to go back, I would tell you."
He seemed almost horrified by her words. Sitting up, he turned his entire body to face her, not wanting her to, for an instant, think that he meant something other than what he was about to say. "No! Kahlan, if you told me I may not have- No." Shaking his head, he clenched his jaw and tried to find the right words. "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. If you told me, I would not have had a chance to live a normal life. That option was never open to me. You are the only life I could ever have and if you told me, it wouldn't have stopped me from falling in love with you. Nothing could. You're the other half of me." She opened her mouth to speak, but was unable to form words. Everything she wanted to say would only make things worse and a part of her was afraid that if he thought about it long enough, he would leave. It was irrational of course, but the fear of losing him was always on her mind. From the moment he first kissed her, the thought was looming within her. Silently, she closed her eyes and prayed that he would let it all go. "Kahlan, if I didn't have you; our children, I don't know what I would do."
Meeting his eyes, she shifted her body, trying to appear as though he had taken the worry from her. "You should try to sleep."
"I can try, but you and I both know that I won't be sleeping. Not until I can make myself forget that I hurt you. I never meant to-"
"I know, but now it's in my head and I keep thinking that you would be happier if you had the family you always imagined."
"I do." He licked his lips and sighed, knowing that what he was about to tell her was a secret he had held onto for years. "I rarely thought about having a family. I thought about it as a boy, but as I grew up, after my mother died, I- I don't know. When I was with Anna, she talked about wanting to be a family, but I couldn't see it. I didn't want it. Then I met you and I suddenly wanted it all, with you. I thought about it all the time, I could practically see our children. What you and I have, I wouldn't trade or change it for anything. It's the greatest thing that has ever happen to me."
"Me too."
Chapter: 7
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Richard/Kahlan
Characters: Kahlan, Richard and Zedd, Cara, Others (Original)
Timeline: After S2
Summary: After marrying, Richard and Kahlan try to begin their lives together, something happens to jeperdize it all. Decisions will be made and allies will be lost. Nothing is as it seems.
Word Count: 3,612
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING
Author's Note: So this I started while I was in the hospital. So it has moments of crazy, happy and agnst, but I hope that you all still enjoy! It's pratcially a novel, so I hope you all stick around to see what happens! <3
<3 Comments are awesome peeps! <3
The moon was shining through the windows, lighting the way for them. Kahlan moved swiftly through the halls of the palace, following Richard closely as he looked around to make sure they weren't seen. She prayed they would continue sleeping, knowing that one sound would probably wake every person and she didn't want to have to fight their way out. He froze, making her almost run into him before she too, froze.
"Did you honestly believe that we would not know? You are betraying your people; your own kind!" The woman standing before them crossed her arms, grinning at the sight before her. She was still in the clothes she had worn the day before, making it known that she knew they would try to escape and was ready for them. She wasn't alone. Surrounding the family was a dozen men of the army that Richard and Cara had been training. They now wore the colors of Aydindril, telling them who they worked for now. Fear filled Kahlan instantly. From what Richard had told her, they were skilled and would probably kill them before they had a moment to fight back. "We knew you would run. You're not going until you give me the child."
"You're not going to touch our son," Richard growled, stepping in front of Kahlan, who clung to the children.
"We knew you wouldn't have the stomach to do what was needed. As head of our council, I sent someone to do it for you, but you hid too well." She laughed and pushed her light, brown hair over her shoulder. "We thought you would hide in fear, but then you brought him to us."
"How could you know?"
"Our prophets. They told us the moment he was born. He was standing in the crowd when you arrived. The people will never allow you to keep him." Tightening his hold on his sword, Richard stepped forward and nearly hissed. "The child must be killed. If we allow it to grow and fully develop his magic, we will all be taken."
"How can you talk about him that way? Have you ever thought that it's not the child's fault? Maybe the last male Confessor was driven to his actions by the insanity of the High Council."
"How dare you put out the blame to us! The children cannot be trusted."
Shaking his head, he motioned to Kahlan. "Why not the women? What makes them more trustworthy? They have the same magic, but for some reason, you never began murdering them. Why?"
"They can be trained, shown what to be-"
"Manipulated! You're so afraid that you'll lose your power over the Confessors." He began to laugh, surprising Kahlan and the others. "You've never had any power over them and you haven't seen it. You're here because Kahlan allows you to be; because she believes that it's just, but I'm starting to disagree. You are power hungry, Kaitlin, you all are. You don't care who you hurt to keep control and I'm not going to stand by and allow you to treat us that way."
"Us? You are not one of them."
Kahlan stared at the back of his head, her heart pounding violently as he spoke. "I may not have their magic, but in my heart, I am one of them. You will not hurt any of us."
The woman crossed her arms with a sigh, "Take them all to the dungeon and then bring me the boy. We will deal with the others once he is dead."
Kahlan tightened her hold on their children and pushed her back against the stone wall as Richard moved backward to be closer to her. He looked over the men, trying to see who would attack first. "I will kill you all if I have to!"
The men didn't move, "Get them now!"
Running her own eyes over the men, she tried to see who would obey her order, but none moved. Kaitlin turned around and grabbed one of the men's spare knives. "You will all be punished for defying me! Get them now!"
"Nobody touches The Mother Confessor, Lord Rahl or the baby Confessors!" The men froze instantly at his words.
Stunned, the head of the council looked over at the man who had spoken. "What?"
"He's right. The child deserves a chance."
"You can't trust him! He's married a Confessor! He could be under her magic!"
"He gave us a chance; he took us in, saw something better in all of us and did his best to teach us. He has proven himself to be trusted. You have not. You're first order was for us to kill both children, but you lie to them both. You have no loyalty from us."
Kahlan pushed past her husband and walked toward the woman she knew. "You were going to murder our children?" The other woman said nothing, only tightened her hold on the knife in her hand. Turning toward the man who had spoken before, Kahlan waited. "Speak freely."
"Yes, Mother Confessor. We were told that both children were to be killed. You were meant to watch before she-"
It happened quickly, she couldn't be sure how she knew it was happening. Dropping to her knees, she shielded their children as Kaitlin threw herself at her in a desperate move to murder the children in her arms. A light cry of pain left her lips for a brief moment as the men around her seized the older woman. Richard had her in his arms within seconds, pushing his hand against her side to stop the bleeding as one of the men took their children into his arms.
Looking up at him, she smiled. "I'm fine, it's not deep."
"It's bleeding."
Looking up to the man holding their children, she swallowed. "Why did you help us?"
"It wasn't just your children she ordered us to kill. She planned it once she learned of their birth. Lord Rahl had to die to ensure that it would never happen again."
"Do you not believe our son to be a danger?"
"We grew up in fear of Mord'Sith, but you keep one around; she's helped train us, make us better warriors. We would be fools to think that your son would not be the same. The moment you left, she made us swear our loyalty to Aydindril; that D'Hara would no longer be separate and if we refused to join her, we would... From what Lord Rahl has said about you, you would never allow it to happen. You wouldn't take everything the people have for yourself and for that; we are loyal to you as well."
Standing, Kahlan laid her hand on his arm. "Thank you." Looking the man in eyes, she stepped closer. "Are you Paul, John Mathers son?"
Shocked by her question, he nodded. "Yes, ma'am. How did you know?"
Smiling warmly at the man, she gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "You look like him; have the same eyes."
"I'm sorry Mother Confessor, but how did you know him? He died many years ago."
Richard watched her carefully, waiting for her answer. Swallowing the small lump in her throat, she looked down to her children in his arms. "He rescued my sister and I once. I'll never forget what he did for us." She met his eyes once again and nodded. "I was there when he was buried. He was a great man."
The man smiled and took in a deep breath and bowed. "Thank you Mother Confessor."
Taking her children into her own arms, Kahlan bowed her head, surprising everyone in the room except Richard. The Mother Confessor bowed to no one, had no requirement to show respect or humility to, but it didn't stop her. "Thank you." Turning around, she motioned out her arms, silently asking Richard to take one of their children. "What are we going to do?"
He shook his head instantly. "I don't know, but we can't leave her in charge of the council."
Lowering her voice, she leaned closer to him so that no one else would hear. Richard stared at the ground as he listened, nodding his head a few times before looking up at the men. They all stared at them, waiting for their orders. Kaitlin continued to struggle against them, trying to get free and finish what she had started. They pushed a gag into her mouth, keeping her slightly quieter.
After a few moments, Kahlan pulled back and waited for him to respond. He smiled a small smile and nodded. She turned back to Paul and stepped forward. "Do you like being a part of this army?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"What if you were given something else, something more?"
He was confused, unsure as to what was happening or what he should say. "However I can serve-"
"You would be doing more than serving."
"I don't understand."
Smiling, Kahlan looked from him to Kaitlin and back again. "Would you be willing to take her place? Be Head of the Council?"
He stumbled back in shock and shook his head. "I'm sorry Mother Confessor, but I do not know anything in that matter."
"None of us do. We only do our best and we could use someone like you."
"I'm sorry, but I don't believe that I am the right person."
Nodding in understanding, she stepped back. "All right. We will find someone else."
"I'm sorry, Mother Confessor."
"There is no need to be sorry, I understand. I will however, ask your opinion on something else." Paul nodded with permission, almost afraid of what she would ask next. "In your opinion, what should we do with her?" Seeing the look on his face, she laid her hand on his arm once again and smiled warmly. "You can speak freely."
"At first thought, I would suggest the punishment she had for you, but I do not believe that is just. The dungeon maybe? It would allow you to keep an eye on her without her corrupting any more of your people."
"He's right, but we can't be sure that she hasn't already spoken with the other council members. They may have something else planned."
Looking over to Richard, she began rocking the child in her arms as he awoke. "I don't think so. If she knew that there was another plan, I don't think that she would have tried to do it herself. She wouldn't have attacked and risk her own life. The others may know about it, but I don't think they planned this with her. If they were, why aren't they here as well?" Looking down to the floor, she sighed, wishing that it were true. "If they have something planned, I would like to know before we walk into it."
Stepping closer to her, Richard pressed the side of his arm against hers, needing to feel her in some way. "Cara will interrogate the rest of the council in the morning. You and I can stay here until we know."
"And if we're killed in our sleep?"
"I won't let anything happen to you."
It was in his voice, the calmness was almost undeniable as she met his eyes. "I know you won't. I have to confess her."
He was shaking his head, knowing that it would be hard for her to confess her old friend. "You shouldn't have to, Kahlan, she's your friend."
Shaking her head, she sighed heavily. "No, she's just a woman who tried to murder my family. Here, hold him for a moment?" Handing him their son, she swallowed back the ache that filled her. Turning toward the other woman, she pushed her shoulders back met her eyes. "The punishment for your treason is confession."
The walls shook with the release of her magic, waking everyone within the palace. Kaitlin fell to her knees with a gasp and a cry, suddenly trying to beg Kahlan to forgive her through the gag. For a brief moment, everyone in the room saw the pain on her face. The Mother Confessor unable to hide it quick enough as she looked down at the woman she would have sworn would always be on her side. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and then composed herself. She knew they were watching her, waiting to see what happened next. Richard stepped close behind her, grabbing her attention instantly.
"You don't have to do be the one to question her."
"I need answers."
Nodding, he tilted his head in concern. "I know, but I also know how much this hurts you. Cara can question her."
"She wasn't just going to kill our children; she was going to take you away from me too."
He could hear the anger in her voice, see her push back her feelings as she looked into his eyes. She was terrified and if she didn't know the answers to the questions that burned in her mind, she wouldn't sleep. She had been betrayed more than once when it came to her family and she was not going to allow it to happen again. "Please Kahlan, let Cara do it."
Nodding, she blinked quickly trying to fight the tears as she took their children back into her arms. She would never understand how he knew her so well. "All right." Kahlan leaned against the wall just as Cara rounded the corner in high speed. She smiled at the sight, the blonde's hair tangled from waking and rushing toward the release of the magic. Within moments, she was standing at her side wondering what was going on. "Would you question Kaitlin?" The smile on her friends face was expected. There was nothing Cara enjoyed more than getting answers out of an unwilling person. "She's been confessed."
Just as she was about to answer, Richard pulled her by the arm, turning her around to face him. "Take her down to the dungeons. Find out everything you can and then report back to us. She meant to kill us; we want to make sure the food's not poisoned. I want answers before sunup." Without pause, Cara grabbed the council woman and dragged her out of site. Facing his wife, Richard closed the distance between them and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers. "You should rest. I'll wake you when she returns."
"I won't be able to sleep until we know. I- I won't be able let him go until I'm sure he's safe."
"I'll hold him. We won't leave you, I promise." Lowering his voice, he grinned as he ran one of his hands down her side. "Or we could go back to our room and not sleep."
She fought the low moan that that attempted to leave her lips. "Richard... We're in the middle of a hallway." She could barely get the words out, her body suddenly responding to his touch with a heated desire.
Pulling back, he motioned for her to begin walking down the hall with his head before giving a polite nod to the army who all tried to hide their knowing smiles and rushing after her.
******
The moonlight peeked through the window, making their room a little brighter than the candles alone. He had lit them all, making sure that they had enough light as their bodies collided. She tried to keep from falling asleep, but once her breath returned to her, she lost the battle. The moment she was asleep, Richard crawled out of bed and pulled on his pants as he walked over to the two small beds that held their sleeping children. As carefully as he could, he lifted them both into his arms and returned to the bed. Just as he promised, he was going to hold onto them until they knew for sure they were safe. Nothing and no one would harm them. Giving a quick glance at Kahlan, he leaned back against the headboard and softly began humming, trying to keep himself calm.
The song he hummed was her favorite, one that never failed to comfort her. He could imagine the story that went along with it, almost able to see her as she heard her mother sing it to her for the first time. He couldn't wait until their children were old enough for Kahlan to teach it to them. The thought brought a wide smile to his face and he knew instantly that she would have the chance. They were going to remain in the palace and with time, the people would grow to care for their children. As the men of the army had, the people too would look past what they've been taught to fear.
The thought crossed his mind more than once. The people of the world were afraid of Confessors and if he had known what she was when they met, would he have had the courage to look past it? He wanted to believe that he would, but the way the people looked at her when they passed sometimes made him wonder. If he didn't have the courage, how could he expect the people to? Shaking his head, he tried to fight his mind, never wanting to think of any possibility of never loving Kahlan. The urge to touch her filled him once again, but he was unable to while holding their children.
Sensing his frustration, she opened her eyes and lifted her head. "What's wrong?" The concern left her face as she looked at their children, sleeping peacefully in his arms.
"Nothing, I-"
Instantly she saw through his prepared lie and sat up. "What?" Forcing a smile, he shook his head and tried to think of something to say. "You're starting to scare me."
"I'm sorry. I was just thinking and I didn't like where it lead me."
"Do you want to share it with me?"
"No," he answered quickly, knowing that if he paused, he would end up telling her. "It's not important enough to burden you with."
"If it burdens you, it's more than important enough for me." Watching him carefully, she waited for him to give in, to tell her what upset him, but he remained silent. "Unless it's about me... Richard what did I do?" Sitting up, she moved quickly to his side and crossed her legs, pulling at the blankets to cover herself.
"You didn't do anything. I- I was thinking about the people and how to help them to see our children differently."
"Other than the fear they were raised to have?"
Nodding, he leaned his head back against the headboard and sighed. "They weren't raised the way I was."
Realization fell over her and for a moment she was sure that her heart stopped. "And you were thinking about if you had been. You were wondering if you would have seen me differently if you knew what I was." He didn't have to answer her, she could tell by the way his jaw tightened that she was right. He couldn't open his eyes; he couldn't look at her while the thoughts once again filled his mind. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I knew better, but I- I couldn't bring myself to tell you."
"It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. I should have told you, but I was selfish."
Opening his eyes, he met hers and tilted his head confused. "You're never selfish."
"I have never been more selfish than with you. Never before had I worked so hard to hide. I thought about telling you, but I-" She licked her lips, trying to find the right words. "Do you remember that town we went through, the one that used the elixirs? When I confessed that man and you saw what happened to him... The way you looked at me- I knew that if I told you, you would always look at me like that. I almost told you anyway, but you seemed to believe that it was a part of me that I could lock away and then Shota said that I would betray you. I thought that I already was. The thoughts that I had, that I- I was monster and couldn't tell you."
"But then I kissed you."
Nodding, she looked away from him. "I had never kissed anyone before. I knew that if I stayed, I would have to tell you, but I couldn't. If I hadn't left, you wouldn't have been captured and tortured by Denna." She sighed, at last ready to answer the question that was on his mind. "If you had known what I could do, we wouldn't be here right now. If you knew, you would be back in Hartland, married and I would be here. If I had told you what I was, you wouldn't have to live like this."
Taking in a deep breath, he whispered her name, wanting her to look at him. She waited for a moment, trying to compose herself first. "If I wasn't here, if I wasn't with you, I wouldn't be happy. Kahlan, loving you has been my reason for everything. Without you, I wouldn't have gotten this far, I wouldn't want to be. You may not have told me, but you didn't have to. From the beginning I knew that you were so much more than dangerous. You and Zedd warned me, but I didn't listen. I had never met anyone like you. Being around you was exhilarating, you were everything- It wouldn't have mattered if you tried to kill me, I would have still fallen in love with you."
She remained silent, staring at him as she waited for her heart to slow. Keeping her secret from him was something she had regretted from the start, hating herself for being so selfish. "Do you wish I told you?"
"No." He smiled widely, knowing the answer was more than true. "The only thing that I have ever wished was that I had found a way to be with you sooner. I've thought about it, hated myself for taking so long, for not being able to show you how much I loved you. No, I don't wish that you told me, I wish that the people could know you the way I do."
Dropping the blanket, Kahlan crawled over him, sitting on her knees beside his thighs. She grabbed his face in her hands and pulled it to hers, kissing him as she suddenly wished their children weren't in his arms so that he could hold her the way that she wanted. He followed her as she leaned back, not wanting to break their kiss. Her tears had fallen against her lips, staining them with the sadness that had created them. He could taste them with each kiss, making him hate himself for hurting her.
The both jumped as Harvey wiggled between them, letting out a loud cry that would soon wake his sister. Taking him into her arms, Kahlan moved to sit on the bed, knowing what it was the child wanted. Instantly, Richard cuddled Sarah to him, rocking her gently in the hopes that she would fall back to sleep. He glanced over to her, watching for a moment as she began to feed their son. The sight made his heart pound.
The goose bumps on her arm caught his attention, making him tear his eyes away from her breasts. Shifting his body, he pulled at the blankets, trying to get them to cover her. Leaning her head back against the headboard, she smiled warmly in thanks as her eyes slowly began to close. He knew her mind was still spinning over his question, wondering if she had somehow betrayed him by not revealing what she was able to do.
"Kahlan, I'm sorry."
She didn't open her eyes as she thought, afraid to look at him. "Me too."
"No, you- Kahlan, I shouldn't have been thinking about it."
"How long have you been thinking about it?" Her eyes opened at his silence, knowing the answer to her own question. "When I told you I was afraid of what would happen to our child." Saying it out loud nearly broke her. She had known something was on his mind, but she never imagined it was that he thought of a life without her, though if she was honest, at times she thought he would be happier that way. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I knew that it was wrong for me to think about it. Kahlan, I never wanted to change what we have, I never wanted to go back and do it over, but I couldn't help but wonder how it would be different."
"Knowing what I know now, if I was able to go back, I would tell you."
He seemed almost horrified by her words. Sitting up, he turned his entire body to face her, not wanting her to, for an instant, think that he meant something other than what he was about to say. "No! Kahlan, if you told me I may not have- No." Shaking his head, he clenched his jaw and tried to find the right words. "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. If you told me, I would not have had a chance to live a normal life. That option was never open to me. You are the only life I could ever have and if you told me, it wouldn't have stopped me from falling in love with you. Nothing could. You're the other half of me." She opened her mouth to speak, but was unable to form words. Everything she wanted to say would only make things worse and a part of her was afraid that if he thought about it long enough, he would leave. It was irrational of course, but the fear of losing him was always on her mind. From the moment he first kissed her, the thought was looming within her. Silently, she closed her eyes and prayed that he would let it all go. "Kahlan, if I didn't have you; our children, I don't know what I would do."
Meeting his eyes, she shifted her body, trying to appear as though he had taken the worry from her. "You should try to sleep."
"I can try, but you and I both know that I won't be sleeping. Not until I can make myself forget that I hurt you. I never meant to-"
"I know, but now it's in my head and I keep thinking that you would be happier if you had the family you always imagined."
"I do." He licked his lips and sighed, knowing that what he was about to tell her was a secret he had held onto for years. "I rarely thought about having a family. I thought about it as a boy, but as I grew up, after my mother died, I- I don't know. When I was with Anna, she talked about wanting to be a family, but I couldn't see it. I didn't want it. Then I met you and I suddenly wanted it all, with you. I thought about it all the time, I could practically see our children. What you and I have, I wouldn't trade or change it for anything. It's the greatest thing that has ever happen to me."
"Me too."