May 24 - June 7th: Depression, Loving Life, Hitoe
May 24th:
Despite taking medicine the night before to try to sleep, I wasn’t able to sleep until about 1:30, and had to wake up at 6:30 for school. Waking up was unpleasant, and I wasn’t totally excited to go back to seeing everyone again. Jitsugi was in the dorm in the morning, but I was cha and we hadn’t remembered to bring everything to the dorm last week. So I went to Gakuen at 7:30 to go sift all of the tea, and it was fun to be there early before everyone else got there. I enjoyed having a moment of peace before the day started. It was also cool to be there to be able to help Talon pick things up, and we arrived before the omogashi had even been put into the boxes, so Yamada-san let me do it myself. Fun! AJISAI KINTON! BEST SWEET EVER!!!
Jitsugi was bonkogo and chawan/chashaku kazari. Murata-sensei was teaching us and he was giving Mecca and I a hard time today. Bad Murachi! Class was fine, but I forgot just about every main point while I was doing chawan kazari...I think my mind was still fuzzy.
After class we changed into Western clothes and had kaiseki class. Kaiseki class is amazing. In addition to being informative and delicious, Yamamoto-sensei is hysterical and does not make any attempt to censor his opinions when he lectures us. I enjoy these classes very much and I was sad that it was the last one.
After class I went with Wendy to a kimono shop to talk about getting another hitoe kimono, and then we went to Tsuruya to buy more AJISAI KINTON because they were that delicious. Following sweets purchase I did haigata in gakuen, went to McD’s to get food with Talon, and then went back to the dorm and made koicha and ate sweets with
Wendy and Mecca. After everyone left I practiced haigata again...and now I sleep.
May 25th:
Morning: Vice-principal meeting. It was the first one for the kohai, and we encouraged them to talk a lot. As usual...I talked a lot. *sigh* Why am I the one who is always talking?
Afterwards we had a lecture by Gary-sensei on Sen Sotan. Unfortunately, there were some technical difficulties and we weren’t able to see his presentation...the lecture ended up getting cut a bit short.
Jitsugi: toban: hi. Temae: bonkogo, nagao. Ah, nagao. Damn knots. I can finally tie this knot, and whenever I practice it in the mizuya it comes out correctly...but once I get into the tearoom I mess it up. Actually, I have come to like nagao chaire a lot. I am not sure why, but something about the shape of the chaire is really fun to me. Who knew that would happen?
May 26th:
Quiz in the morning on kagetsu. Eh. Whatever. This is generally how I feel about the quizzes. I understand the reason for having them, but I have absolutely no intention of studying for them, comparing answers with classmates afterwards, or otherwise stressing out about my scores on them. I think it is kind of ridiculous actually.
Tachibana-sensei lecture on chaire afterwards, which was cool for some of the examples that she brought. One chaire was stored in a box that was larger than a furo. It was amazing. It included two different lids, five shifuku, and boxes upon boxes to store everything in. Don’t ask me why I love something this illogical, but I do.
Toban: cho. Temae: Hana chabako with haiken. Ihara was chief this week and he was in our mizuya when I was preparing and overheard me talking about how I enjoy chabako temae. He was surprised to hear this, because most people think chabako is a pain in the ass, but made a comment about how smart people like chabako. I said “that is not me at all.”
As usual, with chabako I am put on the chopping block to go first. WHATEVER. Unfortunately, I think the lack of sleep was getting to me or something, and I was completely unable to remember the order of how things went. Imagawa-sensei would not correct me. He let me make mistakes that just confused me more, because I couldn’t proceed in proper order when something was out of place. I ended up getting so frustrated I could barely get through the temae, and spent a good deal of class in the mizuya. At the end of class when we had the check, I had a strange conversation with Ihara:
Ihara: *as he is checking furidashi* what do you put into the furidashi?
Cone: konpeito
Ihara: do you know ___ store?
Cone: nope
Ihara: it’s supposed to be a really famous place that makes konpeito.
Cone: oh really? where is it?
Ihara: i don’t know...
Cone: *wtf face*
So confused by people sometimes. So confused. Keep in mind this is the same kid who has never spoken to me except to say I have nice legs.
May 27th:
Morning art history class with Swanson-sensei. I was super excited that we talked about Sesshu Toyo for a while, since he is probably my favorite Japanese artist of all time. Class ended early and we had some time before lunch and I ended up going on a walk with Sylvain to chat about life, the universe and everything. It’s pretty rare that the two of us sit down and talk, but it was good.
Jitsugi: toban: haigata in the evening. temae: sumishomo, otsubukuro and tsutsumibukusa. I was able to lay the sumi for sumishomo while Talon was host. Hamana-sensei had been teaching us, but had to leave early for seminar prep, so we had Tomoko-sensei after the first temae. I did tsutsumibukusa, and it had been a while. I have some issues with my hands when I remove the fukusa from the natsume, but other than that the temae is pretty smooth.
That night I did haigata. There was an interesting event. I finished and stayed with Jin-chan while she finished up. Talon, Stella, and some of the gakuensei were also there working when Kazuo came by. I had been avoiding him since the last sumi incident and wasn’t really in the mood to talk. He and Talon were joking around and he started pretending to cry.
Cone: why are you crying Kazuo?
Kazuo: I’m crying for you Cone! Do you know Ihara?
*Ihara walks by*
Cone: the kid that just walked by? yes, of course.
Kazuo: Ihara says that you are really cold, and that it is because you are sad because you are single.
Cone: ...
*Kazuo runs away*
I thought I had misheard him, because I couldn’t believe he would actually say that out loud in front of everyone, and I had Jin translate it for me again. Wow. Also, WHAT THE FUCK?! It made me really upset actually, and I lost any willpower I had left for the week.
May 28th:
Could not deal with going to school and seeing people, especially did not want to see Kazuo or Ihara. I suppose the continuous insomnia isn’t helping here. I spent the entire day cleaning both the hall and my room, and separating the items that I would be shipping home before I left. If I wasn’t in class at least I could be productive...or something. When classes were ending I realized that I really couldn’t handle seeing anyone, so I left and walked down to Shijo. I bought some miso kashiwa mochi, since Wendy had been asking about it, and then went to my Italian restaurant for a nice meal. I spend a lot of time there reading my book and chatting with the owners and enjoying a comfortable feeling for the first time in a while. The owner gave me some banana bread that she had baked as a present for breakfast the next day. I left a very happy Cone :) When I got back home I still didn’t want to face anyone, so I sat in the park across the street and talked to Hanna-chan on the phone until I had to go inside for curfiew. I am sure it looked bad to be home sick during the day and then out until late at night...but sometimes you just need time for yourself. Today was one of those days.
May 29th:
In the morning I had Mecca and Wendy over for tea and kashiwa mochi. Well, Mecca came first, still in her PJ’s, and then Wendy came just as I was headed out the door to run some errands. I went to get a haircut and drop off an obi at the cleaners, and then I came back, picked up the girls and we headed downtown to a kimono sale at Takashimaya. I was looking for a jime and age to match one of my summer obi, and I thought I had succeeded. Sadly, when I went to visit Kikuko later that day to pick up another obi and get her approval...she did not approve. Ah well. I am so happy with my summer obi and kimono, I can’t even describe it.
From Kikuko’s I walked to Kitano Hakubaicho and took the train back home, where I had dinner with my family for the first time in ages. It was so good. I had a terrible headache all day, and being able to go home and have a warm meal and sit on the couch and relax in front of the TV was great. This was the weekend for doing things that make Cone feel better.
May 30th:
Went back to Takashimaya to switch the jime and age, and found another set that I am not totally in love with...but will do. Walked around downtown for a bit, and then came back and made shiru and shared it with Talon and Mecca, along with a bottle of sake that I received from otoosan. Talon had a rough weekend, so we thought the sake was a good idea, and it was pretty excellent stuff too. We ate and drank while watching one of my favorite movies ever, A League of Their Own. Love love love.
In the evening I took Wendy to meet Kikuko for the first time, and we had fun chatting about many, many things. Overall, I hoped that the weekend helped me recuperate enough to get me through the next few weeks, which will be stressful.
May 31st:
Last day of awase! Woo hoo! Quiz in the morning on sumishomo and bonkogo, followed by a Tanihata-sensei lecture on the Warring States period. Sweet. Or rather, it would have been sweet if I hadn’t gotten a call from Murata-sensei at 9:10 saying that Hamana-sensei wanted to change the schedule to start at 9:15 and add another lecture in. I had just gotten out of the shower and had to run up and down the hall telling all of the girls to get dressed as fast as possible and go to school immediately. Needless to say, no one was any more prepared than I was and we ended up not getting there much earlier than usual. Ah well. Good way to start the week :P
Jitsugi: toban: tatami. Temae: nagaita. I still have issues with the handling of the hibashi, but you know. Too many hands confuse me. I saw Ihara when I was walking back home to change for cleaning and had no idea what to do. I nodded when he said “otsukaresamadesu” but I didn’t say anything. I hate people.
That night we all helped out in tatami cleaning. I really enjoy my black samuei.
June 1st:
Since we didn’t get anything done early the day before, Hamana-sensei changed the lecture to 9:15 and lectured on June seasonal topics until noon. I love the seasonal lectures, but three hours straight was a little intense. After lunch we headed to Konnichian for scholarship. All day long I kept thinking how much lighter I felt wearing hitoe kimono and summer obi. It was my first time ever wearing hitoe, and it was like a miracle for me. Yes, I am still wearing three layers of clothing and a heavy obi, but they are so much lighter and more breathable!
Jitsugi: toban: nishi. Temae: sumishomo and kazarimono. Damn kazarimono. Too much kazari, not enough chabako! I AM PISSED THAT WE ARE NOT DOING YUKI. PISSED!!!!! Ah well.
Toilet cleaning in the evening, and then I helped everyone finish tatami. It’s a good way to work off stress.
June 2nd:
Principal lecture in the morning, which may be our last. When I realized that I was almost in tears. Actually, there were several moments during his lecture today where I was almost crying thinking about having to leave this place. I still have almost two months left, I can’t get emotional yet. If I am doing this now, what am I going to do when I actually have to go?!
In a perfect example of how completely bipolar I am here...we had gyakudatte in the afternoon. Temae where everything is backwards. I was up first with shozumi and it wasn’t terrible, but Hamana-sensei has a tendency to get really easily frustrated with me, especially when I do sumidemae. Couple this with one of my classmates intentionally sitting too close to me during class because it makes me anxious, and then almost sitting on me when she went to serve tea to sensei and I pretty much lost it. It is really difficult to be in a very small room every day with someone you don’t like, especially when that person has no sense of personal space. None, at all. Then, it’s not just that you are in a small room with that person, you live with them, eat all of your meals with them, and have to manage them at the same time and have them resent you for it...and you have instant Cone in the mizuya time. The entire class I just kept thinking about how the only place I wanted to be was in the tearoom and learning this temae, but how if I had to spend one more minute enduring rude behavior I was going to lose my mind.
Hamana-sensei lectured me after class for leaving the classroom without excusing myself, and I apologized but didn’t explain why I left. It didn’t matter really.
June 3rd:
I went for a very short run in the morning, and even a short run helped. Gary-sensei lecture on the Raku generations in the morning. It was interesting with the visuals, but I wish we had been able to see the images in order to get a better idea of the progression of the Raku style.
Tsuzukiusucha in the afternoon. We were on the third floor and in the beginning of class a thunderstorm hit. I haven’t heard thunder in so long, and it was really lovely storm, good rain and wind. We had the windows open for a lot of it and there is almost nothing I enjoy more than a good thunderstorm. Being able to drink tea during a thunderstorm might have just been the best experience I have ever had. It was cool and refreshing and beautiful...and there was tea.
After class I went to change and then went back to school and joined in Talon’s meeting with Murata-sensei about the menu for the kaiseki for the Toinseki Chaji on the 24th. While we were waiting we chatted with Kazuo (my initial reaction when he started talking to me was “don’t talk to me Kazuo,” but I ended up talking anyways) and Ogasawara-san. Kazuo strangely started asking me questions about my background, and I told him a bit about my work and school life before I came here. I don’t talk about it much because I think it just confuses people more than anything.
Afterwards haigata, and the rain had stopped by that point. Wendy was with me, and I had some issues with it and thought I was going to have to give up at one point but kept going and finished. I really hate the mayuburo. Hate hate hate. Hate tetsuburo. Want doburo. Please.
June 4th:
Matsunami-sensei’s Zen class was held at Daitokuji in the morning, and he took us through the main buildings, Juko-in and his own temple. He wasn’t feeling well that day and I told him to please speak Japanese if it was easier. I felt badly because his leg was causing him pain and I wanted to do something to help but I didn’t know what to do. The weather was really nice again, we have been blessed lately, and despite his pain sensei was really kind in all of his explanations of buildings and history. At Juko-in we ran into Nishijima-san, I often wonder what his life is like there. We ended the class with zazen at sensei’s temple, which was all open to the outside. There is no better way to spend a morning.
In the afternoon, sumishomo and koicha tsuki kagestu. Why do they keep doing this on FRIDAY?! Nah, it was fine. That night I felt like being social for the first time in a while, but it wasn’t meant to be. I have been dwelling all week on the comments from Ihara and Kazuo, which is dumb really. I ended up going for a long walk along the Kamogawa and having an early night.
June 5th:
Kencha at Kenninji in Gion. Everyone was super excited to see a kencha done by Daisosho, which was a first for us. We met at 8:45 AM and were off in taxi’s (I almost died when Jin-chan said “Mama!” and followed after me to get into a taxi. So cute.), got to the temple, gathered ourselves and went to go find out seats. I always get a little embarrassed when we are seated in front of all of our sempai, which happened again today. The ichinen course, kenkyuka and sannensei were all attending today. However, when we walked in to sit down I heard someone call out “Cone-chan!” and I looked over to see Matsumoto-sensei! I haven’t seen her since I brought Glenn-sensei to meet her after Rikyu-ki, there has just been too much going on and I haven’t had time to go visit lately. I was able to sit next to her during the kencha and while we were waiting for it to start we caught up on life, and my plans for when I go back and long term goals with tea, etc. She is really fantastic, and she invited me to a chaji at the end of the month, so it’s one more thing to look forward to :)
I wasn’t able to see much of the kencha itself because my view was poor, but it was interesting in that Daisosho used a ryurei style instead of a shin daisu. Whoa. I wish I had been able to see more of the temae itself to see how he had done everything, but you know, it happens. After the tea had been offered to the spirit of Eisai, the monks of the temple began to chant sutras while walking in a snake-like pattern around the room...it went on FOREVER. I thought I was going to pass out. Normally I find the sound of chanting very soothing, but this was so jarring, I don’t even know how to explain it. Between the loud noises and the drum beat and the heat and being in the middle of a large group of people I was feeling a little exhausted and dizzy by the end.
Afterwards everyone split up to go off to the different tea seatings, and I lost sight of Matsumoto-sensei for the day. Midorikai first went to the fukuseki where we met up with some of the sannensei, and we were happy to be served kuzu minazuki sweets there. It is our first time seeing them, but I have a feeling they will show up in class once or twice before the end of the month. The hanaire was a karamono kago, and it started a trend as there seemed to be a lot of Chinese and Korean items being used throughout this and the honseki. The second chawan was a Korean hirachawan and it was huge. During this seki I remember thinking that I liked the color contrast between the dark red of the mizutsugi and the seiji mizusashi.
Following the fukuseki we gained an additional Midorikai member in the form of Kei, who somehow lost his classmates. Poor Kei. We told people he was from Mongolia for the rest of the day. We took our foundling and all went to the tenshin. Tenshin food is always awesome, and this one was particularly good. I don’t know if it was as delicious as Tenryuji in the fall, but it is certainly a close second. All vegetarian with some miso shiru on the side, I was really pleased...especially with the tofu...oh man. So good. Melts in your mouth good. When people finished with lunch they went out to take a stroll around the gardens, and I spent a while sitting in front of the one of the karesansui gardens thinking about how nice it was to be able to enjoy so many days like this and have time to stare at zen gardens and simply enjoy their existence. As frustrated as I get with life here, I am going to be horribly depressed when I go home.
Finally, we arrived at the honseki, and we were nearly the last guests there so we were the only guests in our seki. As a result, it was somewhat informal and we were able to take our time and ask questions and look around at the dogu. The chashaku was carved by Zabosai Iemoto and made of a really beautiful looking piece of bamboo that faded from dark to light from the fushi. For the two chawan, one korean and one kutsugata. The tana and tabakobon were both kiji, and I kept thinking about the lighter feeling of the dogu in summer. It doesnt seem like so long ago that we were enveloped in all of the layers of winter, and now we are already in midsummer.
All in all it was a lovely day, much tea was enjoyed, many pictures were taken, and as usual I can’t remember as much of the dogu as I would like. My mind seems to be elsewhere these days. Once we left we all decided to take a trip to the Tsujirien sweet shop and eat delicious parfaits. I have been trying to get in here since I was on AKP, but there is almost always a 2 hour + wait, so I have never been. Due to some miracle, we were able to get in with almost no line (all 13 of us!) and we enjoyed sweets and lots of laughter. Hamana-sensei kindly treated us with my money, he is nice like that ;)
When we got home I cleaned and ironed a lot, had some downtime, got my money back from Hamana-sensei (who is adorable on his scooter), went to dinner at McD’s, and in the evening enjoyed drinks at Alcove with Mecca, Wendy, Stella and Yuichi. Yuichi tried to explain to Wendy the alternate meaning of walking up to a guy and asking “ogenki desu ka?” and she didn’t get it. As usual. When this happens his usual response is “no, it’s nothing! don’t worry! we are in a disney movie! everything is great!” Which is true.
I tried to tell him about my non-interaction with Ihara, and he told me to get over it.
Yuichi: You wore that short skirt. He wanted something sweet, and you didn’t give him anything.
Cone: did you just say that out loud?
Mecca: He’s trying to say that he wanted you to put out but you wouldn’t.
Cone: i got that. thanks :P
Apparently, wearing a skirt and not immediately jumping into bed with someone makes me a frigid bitch. I can probably live with that.
Awesome day.
June 6th:
In the morning I had a Skype date with Ben! I miss him so much! I miss all of my sempai :( It was great to talk to him though, hear his updates, bitch about Midorikai life, talk about how much I love Midorikai life...the usual. I can’t wait to go visit him when I am back in the States.
Afterwards, Wendy, Stella and I went to the Kongo-ryu Noh Gakudo to see Yuichi’s first performance on a Noh stage. His group was having practice performances all that day and he invited us to go watch him on stage. It was my first time watching any Noh in a while and I was really glad I went. Many Urasenke sensei and students were there, including some of the recent graduates, so it was nice to see everyone outside of the school environment. Before Yuichi we saw Kazuo’s performance. He walked onto the stage and immediately spotted us, and then had trouble keeping his composure...causing Stella to start laughing uncontrollably. She was laughing so hard (silently) that she had tears coming out of her eyes!!!! Wendy and I on either side of her stared very hard at Kazuo’s feet throughout his performance in order to avoid the same fate. I shot Stella a look of death once it was over. Oh man, I thought I was going to lose it. Interestingly, when Yuichi came on stage, no one laughed. That boy is so composed in whatever he does. It is extremely impressive. I wish I could learn that kind of emotional control. His performance was really, really strong. He has a good voice and excellent stage presence...unlike Kazuo. Poor Kazuo. Tomoko-sensei also performed and was lovely as always.
Afterwards we got to sit down and have tea with everyone, and Kazuo made his usual tasteless remarks to me, and as usual I promised to kill him. One of his friends was visiting from Tokyo and he introduced all of us, it was cute. Nice morning :)
When I got back to the dorm I had a cooking practice with Mecca and Talon until about 4 PM. We made rice, shiru and mukozuke (sashimi)...it was fun, if disorganized, but at the end I found myself completely exhausted. I spent the rest of the afternoon not moving, but did go out in the evening with Wendy to go look for hotaru (fireflies). I confess that I do not understand the Japanese obsession with hunting and searching to find a single firefly in the weeds. Maybe its because I come from a country full of fireflies. Still, it was fun to find them and it was a nice reminder of home and childhood.
June 7th:
Another restless night, but I still woke up at 7 and decided to go for a run. It is hard to start running as soon as I wake up, especially with a lack of sleep, but nothing beats that feeling when I finish a good morning workout. It always puts me in a good mood too, which is a good day to start the week. Mereca told me when I go for a run in the morning I act like I “just got laid” so she is really curious to see how happy I would be if I was actually sleeping with someone. Ha. I wish.
This morning’s quiz was on gyakudatte, which I probably did poorly on considering I was in the mizuya for most of the keiko that day. Such is life. I got some good reading done afterwards, and I am almost finished re-reading “The Prince.” Gary-sensei did a lecture on the disciples of Sotan including some images of dogu they had created.
Afternoon jitsugi: toban: hi. Wendy came to help me out with the water preparation and told me how Yuichi had asked her “ogenki desuka” again and she informed him that she now knew what that meant. I was not meant to live with Disney characters. Mai-chan came to be my helper, usurping Mecca’s position, because she wanted more practice with fire. We have enthusiastic little lambs here. For jitsugi we did daisu shozumi, usucha and koicha, and it was my first time at the daisu. I did koicha and it went fairly smoothly. At the beginning of class I was so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open, but I was alright by the end. It’s really amazing to think that I am doing a daisu temae. I keep wondering what will happen when I go home. I am taking the evening off tonight to get some errands done at home, including updating with my writing...it will take a while.
Despite taking medicine the night before to try to sleep, I wasn’t able to sleep until about 1:30, and had to wake up at 6:30 for school. Waking up was unpleasant, and I wasn’t totally excited to go back to seeing everyone again. Jitsugi was in the dorm in the morning, but I was cha and we hadn’t remembered to bring everything to the dorm last week. So I went to Gakuen at 7:30 to go sift all of the tea, and it was fun to be there early before everyone else got there. I enjoyed having a moment of peace before the day started. It was also cool to be there to be able to help Talon pick things up, and we arrived before the omogashi had even been put into the boxes, so Yamada-san let me do it myself. Fun! AJISAI KINTON! BEST SWEET EVER!!!
Jitsugi was bonkogo and chawan/chashaku kazari. Murata-sensei was teaching us and he was giving Mecca and I a hard time today. Bad Murachi! Class was fine, but I forgot just about every main point while I was doing chawan kazari...I think my mind was still fuzzy.
After class we changed into Western clothes and had kaiseki class. Kaiseki class is amazing. In addition to being informative and delicious, Yamamoto-sensei is hysterical and does not make any attempt to censor his opinions when he lectures us. I enjoy these classes very much and I was sad that it was the last one.
After class I went with Wendy to a kimono shop to talk about getting another hitoe kimono, and then we went to Tsuruya to buy more AJISAI KINTON because they were that delicious. Following sweets purchase I did haigata in gakuen, went to McD’s to get food with Talon, and then went back to the dorm and made koicha and ate sweets with
Wendy and Mecca. After everyone left I practiced haigata again...and now I sleep.
May 25th:
Morning: Vice-principal meeting. It was the first one for the kohai, and we encouraged them to talk a lot. As usual...I talked a lot. *sigh* Why am I the one who is always talking?
Afterwards we had a lecture by Gary-sensei on Sen Sotan. Unfortunately, there were some technical difficulties and we weren’t able to see his presentation...the lecture ended up getting cut a bit short.
Jitsugi: toban: hi. Temae: bonkogo, nagao. Ah, nagao. Damn knots. I can finally tie this knot, and whenever I practice it in the mizuya it comes out correctly...but once I get into the tearoom I mess it up. Actually, I have come to like nagao chaire a lot. I am not sure why, but something about the shape of the chaire is really fun to me. Who knew that would happen?
May 26th:
Quiz in the morning on kagetsu. Eh. Whatever. This is generally how I feel about the quizzes. I understand the reason for having them, but I have absolutely no intention of studying for them, comparing answers with classmates afterwards, or otherwise stressing out about my scores on them. I think it is kind of ridiculous actually.
Tachibana-sensei lecture on chaire afterwards, which was cool for some of the examples that she brought. One chaire was stored in a box that was larger than a furo. It was amazing. It included two different lids, five shifuku, and boxes upon boxes to store everything in. Don’t ask me why I love something this illogical, but I do.
Toban: cho. Temae: Hana chabako with haiken. Ihara was chief this week and he was in our mizuya when I was preparing and overheard me talking about how I enjoy chabako temae. He was surprised to hear this, because most people think chabako is a pain in the ass, but made a comment about how smart people like chabako. I said “that is not me at all.”
As usual, with chabako I am put on the chopping block to go first. WHATEVER. Unfortunately, I think the lack of sleep was getting to me or something, and I was completely unable to remember the order of how things went. Imagawa-sensei would not correct me. He let me make mistakes that just confused me more, because I couldn’t proceed in proper order when something was out of place. I ended up getting so frustrated I could barely get through the temae, and spent a good deal of class in the mizuya. At the end of class when we had the check, I had a strange conversation with Ihara:
Ihara: *as he is checking furidashi* what do you put into the furidashi?
Cone: konpeito
Ihara: do you know ___ store?
Cone: nope
Ihara: it’s supposed to be a really famous place that makes konpeito.
Cone: oh really? where is it?
Ihara: i don’t know...
Cone: *wtf face*
So confused by people sometimes. So confused. Keep in mind this is the same kid who has never spoken to me except to say I have nice legs.
May 27th:
Morning art history class with Swanson-sensei. I was super excited that we talked about Sesshu Toyo for a while, since he is probably my favorite Japanese artist of all time. Class ended early and we had some time before lunch and I ended up going on a walk with Sylvain to chat about life, the universe and everything. It’s pretty rare that the two of us sit down and talk, but it was good.
Jitsugi: toban: haigata in the evening. temae: sumishomo, otsubukuro and tsutsumibukusa. I was able to lay the sumi for sumishomo while Talon was host. Hamana-sensei had been teaching us, but had to leave early for seminar prep, so we had Tomoko-sensei after the first temae. I did tsutsumibukusa, and it had been a while. I have some issues with my hands when I remove the fukusa from the natsume, but other than that the temae is pretty smooth.
That night I did haigata. There was an interesting event. I finished and stayed with Jin-chan while she finished up. Talon, Stella, and some of the gakuensei were also there working when Kazuo came by. I had been avoiding him since the last sumi incident and wasn’t really in the mood to talk. He and Talon were joking around and he started pretending to cry.
Cone: why are you crying Kazuo?
Kazuo: I’m crying for you Cone! Do you know Ihara?
*Ihara walks by*
Cone: the kid that just walked by? yes, of course.
Kazuo: Ihara says that you are really cold, and that it is because you are sad because you are single.
Cone: ...
*Kazuo runs away*
I thought I had misheard him, because I couldn’t believe he would actually say that out loud in front of everyone, and I had Jin translate it for me again. Wow. Also, WHAT THE FUCK?! It made me really upset actually, and I lost any willpower I had left for the week.
May 28th:
Could not deal with going to school and seeing people, especially did not want to see Kazuo or Ihara. I suppose the continuous insomnia isn’t helping here. I spent the entire day cleaning both the hall and my room, and separating the items that I would be shipping home before I left. If I wasn’t in class at least I could be productive...or something. When classes were ending I realized that I really couldn’t handle seeing anyone, so I left and walked down to Shijo. I bought some miso kashiwa mochi, since Wendy had been asking about it, and then went to my Italian restaurant for a nice meal. I spend a lot of time there reading my book and chatting with the owners and enjoying a comfortable feeling for the first time in a while. The owner gave me some banana bread that she had baked as a present for breakfast the next day. I left a very happy Cone :) When I got back home I still didn’t want to face anyone, so I sat in the park across the street and talked to Hanna-chan on the phone until I had to go inside for curfiew. I am sure it looked bad to be home sick during the day and then out until late at night...but sometimes you just need time for yourself. Today was one of those days.
May 29th:
In the morning I had Mecca and Wendy over for tea and kashiwa mochi. Well, Mecca came first, still in her PJ’s, and then Wendy came just as I was headed out the door to run some errands. I went to get a haircut and drop off an obi at the cleaners, and then I came back, picked up the girls and we headed downtown to a kimono sale at Takashimaya. I was looking for a jime and age to match one of my summer obi, and I thought I had succeeded. Sadly, when I went to visit Kikuko later that day to pick up another obi and get her approval...she did not approve. Ah well. I am so happy with my summer obi and kimono, I can’t even describe it.
From Kikuko’s I walked to Kitano Hakubaicho and took the train back home, where I had dinner with my family for the first time in ages. It was so good. I had a terrible headache all day, and being able to go home and have a warm meal and sit on the couch and relax in front of the TV was great. This was the weekend for doing things that make Cone feel better.
May 30th:
Went back to Takashimaya to switch the jime and age, and found another set that I am not totally in love with...but will do. Walked around downtown for a bit, and then came back and made shiru and shared it with Talon and Mecca, along with a bottle of sake that I received from otoosan. Talon had a rough weekend, so we thought the sake was a good idea, and it was pretty excellent stuff too. We ate and drank while watching one of my favorite movies ever, A League of Their Own. Love love love.
In the evening I took Wendy to meet Kikuko for the first time, and we had fun chatting about many, many things. Overall, I hoped that the weekend helped me recuperate enough to get me through the next few weeks, which will be stressful.
May 31st:
Last day of awase! Woo hoo! Quiz in the morning on sumishomo and bonkogo, followed by a Tanihata-sensei lecture on the Warring States period. Sweet. Or rather, it would have been sweet if I hadn’t gotten a call from Murata-sensei at 9:10 saying that Hamana-sensei wanted to change the schedule to start at 9:15 and add another lecture in. I had just gotten out of the shower and had to run up and down the hall telling all of the girls to get dressed as fast as possible and go to school immediately. Needless to say, no one was any more prepared than I was and we ended up not getting there much earlier than usual. Ah well. Good way to start the week :P
Jitsugi: toban: tatami. Temae: nagaita. I still have issues with the handling of the hibashi, but you know. Too many hands confuse me. I saw Ihara when I was walking back home to change for cleaning and had no idea what to do. I nodded when he said “otsukaresamadesu” but I didn’t say anything. I hate people.
That night we all helped out in tatami cleaning. I really enjoy my black samuei.
June 1st:
Since we didn’t get anything done early the day before, Hamana-sensei changed the lecture to 9:15 and lectured on June seasonal topics until noon. I love the seasonal lectures, but three hours straight was a little intense. After lunch we headed to Konnichian for scholarship. All day long I kept thinking how much lighter I felt wearing hitoe kimono and summer obi. It was my first time ever wearing hitoe, and it was like a miracle for me. Yes, I am still wearing three layers of clothing and a heavy obi, but they are so much lighter and more breathable!
Jitsugi: toban: nishi. Temae: sumishomo and kazarimono. Damn kazarimono. Too much kazari, not enough chabako! I AM PISSED THAT WE ARE NOT DOING YUKI. PISSED!!!!! Ah well.
Toilet cleaning in the evening, and then I helped everyone finish tatami. It’s a good way to work off stress.
June 2nd:
Principal lecture in the morning, which may be our last. When I realized that I was almost in tears. Actually, there were several moments during his lecture today where I was almost crying thinking about having to leave this place. I still have almost two months left, I can’t get emotional yet. If I am doing this now, what am I going to do when I actually have to go?!
In a perfect example of how completely bipolar I am here...we had gyakudatte in the afternoon. Temae where everything is backwards. I was up first with shozumi and it wasn’t terrible, but Hamana-sensei has a tendency to get really easily frustrated with me, especially when I do sumidemae. Couple this with one of my classmates intentionally sitting too close to me during class because it makes me anxious, and then almost sitting on me when she went to serve tea to sensei and I pretty much lost it. It is really difficult to be in a very small room every day with someone you don’t like, especially when that person has no sense of personal space. None, at all. Then, it’s not just that you are in a small room with that person, you live with them, eat all of your meals with them, and have to manage them at the same time and have them resent you for it...and you have instant Cone in the mizuya time. The entire class I just kept thinking about how the only place I wanted to be was in the tearoom and learning this temae, but how if I had to spend one more minute enduring rude behavior I was going to lose my mind.
Hamana-sensei lectured me after class for leaving the classroom without excusing myself, and I apologized but didn’t explain why I left. It didn’t matter really.
June 3rd:
I went for a very short run in the morning, and even a short run helped. Gary-sensei lecture on the Raku generations in the morning. It was interesting with the visuals, but I wish we had been able to see the images in order to get a better idea of the progression of the Raku style.
Tsuzukiusucha in the afternoon. We were on the third floor and in the beginning of class a thunderstorm hit. I haven’t heard thunder in so long, and it was really lovely storm, good rain and wind. We had the windows open for a lot of it and there is almost nothing I enjoy more than a good thunderstorm. Being able to drink tea during a thunderstorm might have just been the best experience I have ever had. It was cool and refreshing and beautiful...and there was tea.
After class I went to change and then went back to school and joined in Talon’s meeting with Murata-sensei about the menu for the kaiseki for the Toinseki Chaji on the 24th. While we were waiting we chatted with Kazuo (my initial reaction when he started talking to me was “don’t talk to me Kazuo,” but I ended up talking anyways) and Ogasawara-san. Kazuo strangely started asking me questions about my background, and I told him a bit about my work and school life before I came here. I don’t talk about it much because I think it just confuses people more than anything.
Afterwards haigata, and the rain had stopped by that point. Wendy was with me, and I had some issues with it and thought I was going to have to give up at one point but kept going and finished. I really hate the mayuburo. Hate hate hate. Hate tetsuburo. Want doburo. Please.
June 4th:
Matsunami-sensei’s Zen class was held at Daitokuji in the morning, and he took us through the main buildings, Juko-in and his own temple. He wasn’t feeling well that day and I told him to please speak Japanese if it was easier. I felt badly because his leg was causing him pain and I wanted to do something to help but I didn’t know what to do. The weather was really nice again, we have been blessed lately, and despite his pain sensei was really kind in all of his explanations of buildings and history. At Juko-in we ran into Nishijima-san, I often wonder what his life is like there. We ended the class with zazen at sensei’s temple, which was all open to the outside. There is no better way to spend a morning.
In the afternoon, sumishomo and koicha tsuki kagestu. Why do they keep doing this on FRIDAY?! Nah, it was fine. That night I felt like being social for the first time in a while, but it wasn’t meant to be. I have been dwelling all week on the comments from Ihara and Kazuo, which is dumb really. I ended up going for a long walk along the Kamogawa and having an early night.
June 5th:
Kencha at Kenninji in Gion. Everyone was super excited to see a kencha done by Daisosho, which was a first for us. We met at 8:45 AM and were off in taxi’s (I almost died when Jin-chan said “Mama!” and followed after me to get into a taxi. So cute.), got to the temple, gathered ourselves and went to go find out seats. I always get a little embarrassed when we are seated in front of all of our sempai, which happened again today. The ichinen course, kenkyuka and sannensei were all attending today. However, when we walked in to sit down I heard someone call out “Cone-chan!” and I looked over to see Matsumoto-sensei! I haven’t seen her since I brought Glenn-sensei to meet her after Rikyu-ki, there has just been too much going on and I haven’t had time to go visit lately. I was able to sit next to her during the kencha and while we were waiting for it to start we caught up on life, and my plans for when I go back and long term goals with tea, etc. She is really fantastic, and she invited me to a chaji at the end of the month, so it’s one more thing to look forward to :)
I wasn’t able to see much of the kencha itself because my view was poor, but it was interesting in that Daisosho used a ryurei style instead of a shin daisu. Whoa. I wish I had been able to see more of the temae itself to see how he had done everything, but you know, it happens. After the tea had been offered to the spirit of Eisai, the monks of the temple began to chant sutras while walking in a snake-like pattern around the room...it went on FOREVER. I thought I was going to pass out. Normally I find the sound of chanting very soothing, but this was so jarring, I don’t even know how to explain it. Between the loud noises and the drum beat and the heat and being in the middle of a large group of people I was feeling a little exhausted and dizzy by the end.
Afterwards everyone split up to go off to the different tea seatings, and I lost sight of Matsumoto-sensei for the day. Midorikai first went to the fukuseki where we met up with some of the sannensei, and we were happy to be served kuzu minazuki sweets there. It is our first time seeing them, but I have a feeling they will show up in class once or twice before the end of the month. The hanaire was a karamono kago, and it started a trend as there seemed to be a lot of Chinese and Korean items being used throughout this and the honseki. The second chawan was a Korean hirachawan and it was huge. During this seki I remember thinking that I liked the color contrast between the dark red of the mizutsugi and the seiji mizusashi.
Following the fukuseki we gained an additional Midorikai member in the form of Kei, who somehow lost his classmates. Poor Kei. We told people he was from Mongolia for the rest of the day. We took our foundling and all went to the tenshin. Tenshin food is always awesome, and this one was particularly good. I don’t know if it was as delicious as Tenryuji in the fall, but it is certainly a close second. All vegetarian with some miso shiru on the side, I was really pleased...especially with the tofu...oh man. So good. Melts in your mouth good. When people finished with lunch they went out to take a stroll around the gardens, and I spent a while sitting in front of the one of the karesansui gardens thinking about how nice it was to be able to enjoy so many days like this and have time to stare at zen gardens and simply enjoy their existence. As frustrated as I get with life here, I am going to be horribly depressed when I go home.
Finally, we arrived at the honseki, and we were nearly the last guests there so we were the only guests in our seki. As a result, it was somewhat informal and we were able to take our time and ask questions and look around at the dogu. The chashaku was carved by Zabosai Iemoto and made of a really beautiful looking piece of bamboo that faded from dark to light from the fushi. For the two chawan, one korean and one kutsugata. The tana and tabakobon were both kiji, and I kept thinking about the lighter feeling of the dogu in summer. It doesnt seem like so long ago that we were enveloped in all of the layers of winter, and now we are already in midsummer.
All in all it was a lovely day, much tea was enjoyed, many pictures were taken, and as usual I can’t remember as much of the dogu as I would like. My mind seems to be elsewhere these days. Once we left we all decided to take a trip to the Tsujirien sweet shop and eat delicious parfaits. I have been trying to get in here since I was on AKP, but there is almost always a 2 hour + wait, so I have never been. Due to some miracle, we were able to get in with almost no line (all 13 of us!) and we enjoyed sweets and lots of laughter. Hamana-sensei kindly treated us with my money, he is nice like that ;)
When we got home I cleaned and ironed a lot, had some downtime, got my money back from Hamana-sensei (who is adorable on his scooter), went to dinner at McD’s, and in the evening enjoyed drinks at Alcove with Mecca, Wendy, Stella and Yuichi. Yuichi tried to explain to Wendy the alternate meaning of walking up to a guy and asking “ogenki desu ka?” and she didn’t get it. As usual. When this happens his usual response is “no, it’s nothing! don’t worry! we are in a disney movie! everything is great!” Which is true.
I tried to tell him about my non-interaction with Ihara, and he told me to get over it.
Yuichi: You wore that short skirt. He wanted something sweet, and you didn’t give him anything.
Cone: did you just say that out loud?
Mecca: He’s trying to say that he wanted you to put out but you wouldn’t.
Cone: i got that. thanks :P
Apparently, wearing a skirt and not immediately jumping into bed with someone makes me a frigid bitch. I can probably live with that.
Awesome day.
June 6th:
In the morning I had a Skype date with Ben! I miss him so much! I miss all of my sempai :( It was great to talk to him though, hear his updates, bitch about Midorikai life, talk about how much I love Midorikai life...the usual. I can’t wait to go visit him when I am back in the States.
Afterwards, Wendy, Stella and I went to the Kongo-ryu Noh Gakudo to see Yuichi’s first performance on a Noh stage. His group was having practice performances all that day and he invited us to go watch him on stage. It was my first time watching any Noh in a while and I was really glad I went. Many Urasenke sensei and students were there, including some of the recent graduates, so it was nice to see everyone outside of the school environment. Before Yuichi we saw Kazuo’s performance. He walked onto the stage and immediately spotted us, and then had trouble keeping his composure...causing Stella to start laughing uncontrollably. She was laughing so hard (silently) that she had tears coming out of her eyes!!!! Wendy and I on either side of her stared very hard at Kazuo’s feet throughout his performance in order to avoid the same fate. I shot Stella a look of death once it was over. Oh man, I thought I was going to lose it. Interestingly, when Yuichi came on stage, no one laughed. That boy is so composed in whatever he does. It is extremely impressive. I wish I could learn that kind of emotional control. His performance was really, really strong. He has a good voice and excellent stage presence...unlike Kazuo. Poor Kazuo. Tomoko-sensei also performed and was lovely as always.
Afterwards we got to sit down and have tea with everyone, and Kazuo made his usual tasteless remarks to me, and as usual I promised to kill him. One of his friends was visiting from Tokyo and he introduced all of us, it was cute. Nice morning :)
When I got back to the dorm I had a cooking practice with Mecca and Talon until about 4 PM. We made rice, shiru and mukozuke (sashimi)...it was fun, if disorganized, but at the end I found myself completely exhausted. I spent the rest of the afternoon not moving, but did go out in the evening with Wendy to go look for hotaru (fireflies). I confess that I do not understand the Japanese obsession with hunting and searching to find a single firefly in the weeds. Maybe its because I come from a country full of fireflies. Still, it was fun to find them and it was a nice reminder of home and childhood.
June 7th:
Another restless night, but I still woke up at 7 and decided to go for a run. It is hard to start running as soon as I wake up, especially with a lack of sleep, but nothing beats that feeling when I finish a good morning workout. It always puts me in a good mood too, which is a good day to start the week. Mereca told me when I go for a run in the morning I act like I “just got laid” so she is really curious to see how happy I would be if I was actually sleeping with someone. Ha. I wish.
This morning’s quiz was on gyakudatte, which I probably did poorly on considering I was in the mizuya for most of the keiko that day. Such is life. I got some good reading done afterwards, and I am almost finished re-reading “The Prince.” Gary-sensei did a lecture on the disciples of Sotan including some images of dogu they had created.
Afternoon jitsugi: toban: hi. Wendy came to help me out with the water preparation and told me how Yuichi had asked her “ogenki desuka” again and she informed him that she now knew what that meant. I was not meant to live with Disney characters. Mai-chan came to be my helper, usurping Mecca’s position, because she wanted more practice with fire. We have enthusiastic little lambs here. For jitsugi we did daisu shozumi, usucha and koicha, and it was my first time at the daisu. I did koicha and it went fairly smoothly. At the beginning of class I was so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open, but I was alright by the end. It’s really amazing to think that I am doing a daisu temae. I keep wondering what will happen when I go home. I am taking the evening off tonight to get some errands done at home, including updating with my writing...it will take a while.