Just when I think this can't get hotter, funnier, more touching or insightful, you surpass yourself. This is just a delight to read, and I must admit that I'm glad Vince and Howard are being difficult. I'm not ready to be done with this one yet!
I want whatever you want, Howard, I just need to know what it is.
This line! This is the most perfect summation of Vince and his character in a single line ever. I had to stop and marvel at how revealing and spot-on that is. (And also pause to facepalm, because I have to admit that I have actually said things very, very close to that in real life. Reading your fanfic is more useful to me than counseling!) He can't ask for what he wants, because that's too terrifyingly vulnerable--too much of a risk of what he seems to think is all-but-certain rejection. It's at once easier and more painful to let Howard determine what their relationship should be and then convince himself that it's exactly what he wants and he's happy with it.
The sex continues to be explosively hot--in fact, I think it's getting hotter as we go along, maybe especially because this time we get so many things related to intimacy here, all these little details Vince is noticing and thoughts he's having that really get at that--and also make it clear that, no matter what Vince says, this would never really be JUST sex to him.
But the emotional stuff is just killer, too. I know I said I wanted resolution, but I actually love that Vince hasn't got all his answers here--and he's carefully avoided the threat of being open about his feelings with Howard, too. They still have a lot of talking and understanding to do! (Punctuated with bouts of intense sex, of course.) Like shortcider said, you're doing a fantastic--and I think very realistic and true to the character--job of exploring Vince's insecurities here, and it makes sense that it's taking some time for him and Howard to navigate all their individual and shared insecurities and worries and hang ups. In a weird way, the sex is probably the easy part for them!
But I love them each admitting that they've been sabotaging each other's love lives, and the realization that Vince set an emotional booby trap for Howard, to punish him for spending too much time chasing after another woman. I like that they actually have a serious conversation about Howard's encounter in Denmark and that Vince's genuine assurance that Howard doesn't owe anybody anything he doesn't want to do, even though he has his own serious issues with being able to say no. I love the bit with the hand-holding and Vince relishing the sight of his chubby little fingers disappearing into Howard's big hands. And I especially love Howard's serious assertion that bells don't ring, and real love is like growing in love, rather than falling--could it possibly be clearer what he means? But it made me want to cheer for him, because that, and his realization that Denmark was awful because Vince wasn't there to share either the good or the bad moments, really points to a new and healthy emotional maturity and perspective for him where love is concerned. Because he's totally right about love being the state where you can't imagine not wanting to share everything with another person, and it is about all those shared moments taken together, rather than some Hollywood meet-cute or bells ringing or love at first sight. He's grown enough to recognize what real love looks like and how valuable it is.
But eeeeek, Vince's last question is a gut punch. At the same time, I feel like he's finally being a bit brave by showing a glimpse at how much insecurity he really feels...
I want whatever you want, Howard, I just need to know what it is.
This line! This is the most perfect summation of Vince and his character in a single line ever. I had to stop and marvel at how revealing and spot-on that is. (And also pause to facepalm, because I have to admit that I have actually said things very, very close to that in real life. Reading your fanfic is more useful to me than counseling!) He can't ask for what he wants, because that's too terrifyingly vulnerable--too much of a risk of what he seems to think is all-but-certain rejection. It's at once easier and more painful to let Howard determine what their relationship should be and then convince himself that it's exactly what he wants and he's happy with it.
The sex continues to be explosively hot--in fact, I think it's getting hotter as we go along, maybe especially because this time we get so many things related to intimacy here, all these little details Vince is noticing and thoughts he's having that really get at that--and also make it clear that, no matter what Vince says, this would never really be JUST sex to him.
But the emotional stuff is just killer, too. I know I said I wanted resolution, but I actually love that Vince hasn't got all his answers here--and he's carefully avoided the threat of being open about his feelings with Howard, too. They still have a lot of talking and understanding to do! (Punctuated with bouts of intense sex, of course.) Like shortcider said, you're doing a fantastic--and I think very realistic and true to the character--job of exploring Vince's insecurities here, and it makes sense that it's taking some time for him and Howard to navigate all their individual and shared insecurities and worries and hang ups. In a weird way, the sex is probably the easy part for them!
But I love them each admitting that they've been sabotaging each other's love lives, and the realization that Vince set an emotional booby trap for Howard, to punish him for spending too much time chasing after another woman. I like that they actually have a serious conversation about Howard's encounter in Denmark and that Vince's genuine assurance that Howard doesn't owe anybody anything he doesn't want to do, even though he has his own serious issues with being able to say no. I love the bit with the hand-holding and Vince relishing the sight of his chubby little fingers disappearing into Howard's big hands. And I especially love Howard's serious assertion that bells don't ring, and real love is like growing in love, rather than falling--could it possibly be clearer what he means? But it made me want to cheer for him, because that, and his realization that Denmark was awful because Vince wasn't there to share either the good or the bad moments, really points to a new and healthy emotional maturity and perspective for him where love is concerned. Because he's totally right about love being the state where you can't imagine not wanting to share everything with another person, and it is about all those shared moments taken together, rather than some Hollywood meet-cute or bells ringing or love at first sight. He's grown enough to recognize what real love looks like and how valuable it is.
But eeeeek, Vince's last question is a gut punch. At the same time, I feel like he's finally being a bit brave by showing a glimpse at how much insecurity he really feels...
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