Veritas Part 1
Title:Veritas 1
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Rating: PG-13
Fandon: The Mighty Boosh
Warnings: excessive drinking, being mean to Chris de Burgh for no reason, drunken flirtation
Summary: Vince’s plan to play spin the bottle with Howard does not go to plan.
Author’s note: I am going to write fifteen chapters in fifteen days, so these chapters are going to be rough! This is a story I came up with for acastetter. When it is done and I’ve tidied it up and had it beta-ed I will dedicate it to you, Castie. You deserve a more polished product than what I’ll be providing for the next fifteen days!
With some charm, a little begging, a few sweets, some more begging and an IOU for his soul - Vince was able to convince Naboo to put a magic spell on a bottle to make sure that when Howard sent it spinning, it would land on Vince. Naboo begrudgingly enchanted the bottle to go from the “biggest loser at the party to the second biggest loser”. Vince wasn’t fussed, he could take a few jabs from Naboo for a chance to snog Howard.
Then Chris de Burgh showed up and messed with the plan. Vince wasn’t about to let Chrissy get between him and his traditional birthday snuggle from Howard.
The year Vince started working at the zoo, Howard spent his birthday moaning about the passage of time and how he was an unrecognized genius. Vince took pity on the old man and invited him out for drinks. The barkeep didn’t give Vince a second glance, but Howard intercepted every pint.
“This poison will stunt your growth,” Howard warned. “You don’t want to be a little man for the rest of your life.”
Instead of bristling at the short jokes, Vince found himself craning his neck to look up at his boss and even batting his lashes a little. Cranky Mr. Moon was replaced by Sexy Howard, a dashing older man who could introduce Vince to the world of physical love. Vince generally fancied girls or ultra cool guys like Bowie or Jagger. He never thought he’d be flirting with an old man who loved jazz, but when Howard said, “I can’t tell if you’re a pretty boy or an ugly girl,” Vince’s heart was in his throat.
There were a few times that night that Vince thought Howard was going to kiss him, but as handsy as Howard got, he kept his mouth to himself. Howard draped himself over Vince’s shoulders and had to be all but dragged back to the zoo because he could not remember where he lived. Vince didn’t dare take Howard to his own flat, with his five roommates. Howard already thought Vince was a child, he didn’t need to see Vince’s bunk beds or jungle themed sheets.
That was the first night Howard and Vince slept in sleeping bags on the floor of the keeper hut, and it was the most exciting night of Vince’s young life. He spent the whole night sleeping fitfully, hoping that Howard would make a move and something would happen. Vince wasn’t sure what he wanted exactly, but the closer he got to Howard - the closer he wanted to be.
Nothing happened that night, and in the morning, Howard was doubly cranky because he was so hung over. A night of mussing Vince’s hair and rubbing his back, whispering in his ear and making vaguely suggestive comments disappeared in the light of day. Howard returned to being Mr. Moon and Vince went back to shoveling dung.
Howard would never spend time with Vince outside of work, saying it was not appropriate to “fraternize with underlings,” but every year at the Zoo Christmas party and on his birthday, Howard would get drunk and friendly.
Every year, Vince pretended to forget Howard’s birthday and then took him out for drinks to make it up. Those were the two nights a year that Vince got to see Howard cut loose. Normally, Howard would not allow Vince to intrude on his personal space, but after a few drinks he would be all over Vince - filled with bonhomie and a touch of something else.
After they left the Zooniverse, accompanied by armed security, there were no more company Christmas parties. Vince only had Howard’s birthday to look forward to. They shared a bedroom, but Howard insisted on keeping a certain degree of distance, claiming it was for the sake of their friendship. “Familiarity breeds contempt” was one of Howard’s nonsense sayings. Vince tried to argue that going to a pub together would hardly make them more familiar than sharing a room, but he knew it was a lie. Maybe Howard knew it, too. It was hard to be sure, the Northerner never acknowledged the… friendliness of those nights or the veritas that came from the vino.
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Author: Concupid
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Rating: PG-13
Fandon: The Mighty Boosh
Warnings: excessive drinking, being mean to Chris de Burgh for no reason, drunken flirtation
Summary: Vince’s plan to play spin the bottle with Howard does not go to plan.
Author’s note: I am going to write fifteen chapters in fifteen days, so these chapters are going to be rough! This is a story I came up with for acastetter. When it is done and I’ve tidied it up and had it beta-ed I will dedicate it to you, Castie. You deserve a more polished product than what I’ll be providing for the next fifteen days!
With some charm, a little begging, a few sweets, some more begging and an IOU for his soul - Vince was able to convince Naboo to put a magic spell on a bottle to make sure that when Howard sent it spinning, it would land on Vince. Naboo begrudgingly enchanted the bottle to go from the “biggest loser at the party to the second biggest loser”. Vince wasn’t fussed, he could take a few jabs from Naboo for a chance to snog Howard.
Then Chris de Burgh showed up and messed with the plan. Vince wasn’t about to let Chrissy get between him and his traditional birthday snuggle from Howard.
The year Vince started working at the zoo, Howard spent his birthday moaning about the passage of time and how he was an unrecognized genius. Vince took pity on the old man and invited him out for drinks. The barkeep didn’t give Vince a second glance, but Howard intercepted every pint.
“This poison will stunt your growth,” Howard warned. “You don’t want to be a little man for the rest of your life.”
Instead of bristling at the short jokes, Vince found himself craning his neck to look up at his boss and even batting his lashes a little. Cranky Mr. Moon was replaced by Sexy Howard, a dashing older man who could introduce Vince to the world of physical love. Vince generally fancied girls or ultra cool guys like Bowie or Jagger. He never thought he’d be flirting with an old man who loved jazz, but when Howard said, “I can’t tell if you’re a pretty boy or an ugly girl,” Vince’s heart was in his throat.
There were a few times that night that Vince thought Howard was going to kiss him, but as handsy as Howard got, he kept his mouth to himself. Howard draped himself over Vince’s shoulders and had to be all but dragged back to the zoo because he could not remember where he lived. Vince didn’t dare take Howard to his own flat, with his five roommates. Howard already thought Vince was a child, he didn’t need to see Vince’s bunk beds or jungle themed sheets.
That was the first night Howard and Vince slept in sleeping bags on the floor of the keeper hut, and it was the most exciting night of Vince’s young life. He spent the whole night sleeping fitfully, hoping that Howard would make a move and something would happen. Vince wasn’t sure what he wanted exactly, but the closer he got to Howard - the closer he wanted to be.
Nothing happened that night, and in the morning, Howard was doubly cranky because he was so hung over. A night of mussing Vince’s hair and rubbing his back, whispering in his ear and making vaguely suggestive comments disappeared in the light of day. Howard returned to being Mr. Moon and Vince went back to shoveling dung.
Howard would never spend time with Vince outside of work, saying it was not appropriate to “fraternize with underlings,” but every year at the Zoo Christmas party and on his birthday, Howard would get drunk and friendly.
Every year, Vince pretended to forget Howard’s birthday and then took him out for drinks to make it up. Those were the two nights a year that Vince got to see Howard cut loose. Normally, Howard would not allow Vince to intrude on his personal space, but after a few drinks he would be all over Vince - filled with bonhomie and a touch of something else.
After they left the Zooniverse, accompanied by armed security, there were no more company Christmas parties. Vince only had Howard’s birthday to look forward to. They shared a bedroom, but Howard insisted on keeping a certain degree of distance, claiming it was for the sake of their friendship. “Familiarity breeds contempt” was one of Howard’s nonsense sayings. Vince tried to argue that going to a pub together would hardly make them more familiar than sharing a room, but he knew it was a lie. Maybe Howard knew it, too. It was hard to be sure, the Northerner never acknowledged the… friendliness of those nights or the veritas that came from the vino.
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