The Rise of Dan Ashcroft: A Revistory
Title: The Rise of Dan Ashcroft: A Revistory
Author: Concupid
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: language, sexual references, drug references
Fandom: Nathan Barely
Pairing: eventually Dan/Jones
Summary: Nathan Barley revisits history with a Revistory of Sugar Ape.
Author’s note: This was supposed to be for a big bang but my lap top died and I had to give up (in melodramatic despair). I don’t want to let this story wither and die though, so I am going to begin posting what I’ve written. Bless you, Bluey, for proofing this for me at the last minute and for all your insight and general awesomeness.
2014
Jonatton Yeah? smiles as he views the footage. It’s a proper smile, one born of happiness rather than irony. Sugar Ape is about to turn thirty. She’s getting long in the tooth, but she has survived longer than anyone thought possible. She’s a bit like Madonna. And like Madonna, she has undergone many changes, survived endless scandals (most self-generated), and no one who has been with her - however briefly - has been able to truly leave her behind.
Dan Ashcroft keeps threatening to leave, but he’s still at his desk. He looks (and smells) like a tramp and he hasn’t cracked a smile in months, but he’s still plugging away.
On Jonatton’s computer screen, a much younger Dan is laughing and dancing. Jonatton remembers when Dan came aboard. He’d been almost embarrassingly keen back then, so in love with the Shoreditch lifestyle.
1994
Dan Ashcroft isn’t a man, he’s a movement. He’s a moment. He is the nineties. He doesn’t own a shirt that isn’t missing at least one button, because he doesn’t give a shit about materialism. Everything he owns is second-hand.
Except his Chuck Taylors. He has to buy those new, because he has big feet and Chuck Taylors don’t hold up very well.
Otherwise, Dan Ashcroft lives the life of a true artist. He doesn’t pay rent, he rarely buys food, and he never buys drinks. All of his money goes to Chuck Taylors, CDs, and drugs. Dan Ashcroft is Sugar Ape.
And that’s what he tells the stuffed shirt sitting across from him.
“Sugar Ape needs Dan Ashcroft. I remember when Sugar Ape was edgy, when you didn’t know what the hell you would see when you opened the magazine. Now you know you’re going to see some wink-wink article about how heroin is bad but we all love it, and then turn the page to some actress dressed like a sexy Nazi talking about how what she really wants is a husband and kids. The cover promises something a bit dirty, but you open it up and everything is sanitized for our protection.”
Teddy Bayer leans back in his chair and tries to stare Dan down. Dan meets his gaze straight on. He wants to work for Sugar Ape more than anything in the world. It has been his dream since he was a teenager (wanking to the ever-present topless photos), but he won’t beg. If Teddy asks Dan to suck his dick, he’ll be on his knees in a second; that kind of debasement he can handle. Dan will let Teddy bend him over the desk if that’s what it takes to get the job, but he will never, ever suck up to a stuffed shirt.
“You’re a good writer, you’ve got a good look, the arrogant prick attitude is very in right now…” Teddy lets the sentence trail off.
“I know you want to say ‘but,’ but there’s no ‘but,’” Dan assures him. “I am the man you need. I am the man you need right now.”
Teddy nods. “You may be right. But what about next year, and the year after that? I have enough flavor-of-the-month types. What I’m wondering is if you have any staying power?”
Teddy is past his prime, and his once-amusing name now highlights his complete lack of sex appeal. He is a sexless old man in a young person’s world.
Dan gives him a wink and a leer and answers, “I can last as long as you need me to.”
Teddy’s cheeks flush, and Dan knows he has the job. Dan Ashcroft’s life has finally begun.
Author: Concupid
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: language, sexual references, drug references
Fandom: Nathan Barely
Pairing: eventually Dan/Jones
Summary: Nathan Barley revisits history with a Revistory of Sugar Ape.
Author’s note: This was supposed to be for a big bang but my lap top died and I had to give up (in melodramatic despair). I don’t want to let this story wither and die though, so I am going to begin posting what I’ve written. Bless you, Bluey, for proofing this for me at the last minute and for all your insight and general awesomeness.
2014
Jonatton Yeah? smiles as he views the footage. It’s a proper smile, one born of happiness rather than irony. Sugar Ape is about to turn thirty. She’s getting long in the tooth, but she has survived longer than anyone thought possible. She’s a bit like Madonna. And like Madonna, she has undergone many changes, survived endless scandals (most self-generated), and no one who has been with her - however briefly - has been able to truly leave her behind.
Dan Ashcroft keeps threatening to leave, but he’s still at his desk. He looks (and smells) like a tramp and he hasn’t cracked a smile in months, but he’s still plugging away.
On Jonatton’s computer screen, a much younger Dan is laughing and dancing. Jonatton remembers when Dan came aboard. He’d been almost embarrassingly keen back then, so in love with the Shoreditch lifestyle.
1994
Dan Ashcroft isn’t a man, he’s a movement. He’s a moment. He is the nineties. He doesn’t own a shirt that isn’t missing at least one button, because he doesn’t give a shit about materialism. Everything he owns is second-hand.
Except his Chuck Taylors. He has to buy those new, because he has big feet and Chuck Taylors don’t hold up very well.
Otherwise, Dan Ashcroft lives the life of a true artist. He doesn’t pay rent, he rarely buys food, and he never buys drinks. All of his money goes to Chuck Taylors, CDs, and drugs. Dan Ashcroft is Sugar Ape.
And that’s what he tells the stuffed shirt sitting across from him.
“Sugar Ape needs Dan Ashcroft. I remember when Sugar Ape was edgy, when you didn’t know what the hell you would see when you opened the magazine. Now you know you’re going to see some wink-wink article about how heroin is bad but we all love it, and then turn the page to some actress dressed like a sexy Nazi talking about how what she really wants is a husband and kids. The cover promises something a bit dirty, but you open it up and everything is sanitized for our protection.”
Teddy Bayer leans back in his chair and tries to stare Dan down. Dan meets his gaze straight on. He wants to work for Sugar Ape more than anything in the world. It has been his dream since he was a teenager (wanking to the ever-present topless photos), but he won’t beg. If Teddy asks Dan to suck his dick, he’ll be on his knees in a second; that kind of debasement he can handle. Dan will let Teddy bend him over the desk if that’s what it takes to get the job, but he will never, ever suck up to a stuffed shirt.
“You’re a good writer, you’ve got a good look, the arrogant prick attitude is very in right now…” Teddy lets the sentence trail off.
“I know you want to say ‘but,’ but there’s no ‘but,’” Dan assures him. “I am the man you need. I am the man you need right now.”
Teddy nods. “You may be right. But what about next year, and the year after that? I have enough flavor-of-the-month types. What I’m wondering is if you have any staying power?”
Teddy is past his prime, and his once-amusing name now highlights his complete lack of sex appeal. He is a sexless old man in a young person’s world.
Dan gives him a wink and a leer and answers, “I can last as long as you need me to.”
Teddy’s cheeks flush, and Dan knows he has the job. Dan Ashcroft’s life has finally begun.