Thank You for Breaking My Heart (Part 1)
Title: Thank You For Breaking My Heart
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Bob Fossil making homophobic comments in English AND English
Summary: The first time Howard breaks Vince’s heart.
Author’s note: Maybe two years ago, Bluey mentioned the idea of a Boosh fic based on Ben Folds Five “Thank You for Breaking My Heart” and then bythepoweroftopshop broke imashambles heart with this and the booshlrs went crazy and unusual-ly wants a sad fic and I’m having trouble with Bent and this just happened.
Howard put his hand over Vince’s face. He was only aiming for the mouth, but Vince’s face was smallish and Howard had big hands. It wasn’t a graceful gesture, but it effectively blocked the near kiss.
“Little Man, I think you need to slow down and think this through. I know you see me as a dashing man of the world…” Vince’s quizzical look made Howard change tactics. “You’re fifteen, Vince. I’m nineteen. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Age is just a number,” Vince shot back with a cocky smirk. Vince thought he had it all figured out. Howard wondered if he’d ever been so young.
“Yes,” Howard agreed, “a number indicating how many years you have been alive and therefore a reasonable measure of your maturity.”
“But I’ll be sixteen in three months!” Vince cried. His eyes were so wide and sad; Howard found it hard to stand his ground. He still hadn’t had a proper kiss and Vince was attractive in certain lights. He was skinny and pointy and his hair was a red streaked mullet, but his eyes were the prettiest eyes Howard had ever seen. They were all different shades of blue, green and gray and seemed to change every day.
“Yes, and I’ll still be nineteen.”
Vince began flapping his arms. Howard knew the squawking would soon follow. He switched gears yet again before Vince actually transformed into a bird.
“I’m a serious man, Vince. A poet, a dreamer, a man of deep feelings. I’m looking for a helpmeet, someone with who to share my life’s journey. Are you ready for that? Are you ready to make a commitment for the rest of your life?”
Howard was rather proud of the speech. Maybe grand speeches could be his thing. The mustache wasn’t giving him quite the authority he’d hoped for.
Vince looked at his hot pink cowboy boots and shuffled for a moment before he looked Howard dead in the eye and said, “Yes.”
Part of Howard wanted to believe it. He barely knew the young man in front of him, and he wasn’t entirely sure he liked him, but Howard liked the idea of someone being in love with him. If Vince really loved him, it could only be a matter of time before Howard fell in love with Vince in return. At the very least, he would love Vince for loving him and that would be close enough.
“We’ll talk in three months,” Howard said gently while resting a hand on Vince’s skinny shoulder. They shared a lovely moment before Fossil’s voice came screaming through the tannoy system.
“Howard Moon, get your ugly, scrawny, faggy… Wait a second. Let me get my English to English dictionary… Sorry… Get your ugly, scrawny, poofy ass to my office pronto! That’s English for now!”
Xxx
Vince had spent hours gluing gems to his pink cowboy boots. They were finally looking the way he wanted, but they were also starting to fall apart at the seams. He was going to have to start buying better quality footwear. He hated how expensive everything was. Being an adult was hard.
“Did you want to talk about your boots?” Howard asked with poorly concealed irritation.
Vince gave a guilty start. He felt awful and he couldn’t look Howard in the eye.
“Remember what we talked about a few months ago?” Vince’s voice cracked on every other word.
Howard smirked. The older boy clearly knew what Vince was about to say and it was awful. Vince really fancied his supervisor and he hated to disappoint him.
“I really like you and all…”
“But?”
“I guess I’m not really ready to settle down.”
Vince stared at his boots and waited for Howard to mock him for being fickle and childish, but instead, Howard placed one of his big, warm hands on Vince’s shoulder.
“Let’s go to that chippy shop you like,” Howard offered. “On me. If you go a whole meal without embarrassing me, I might even buy you ice cream. It’s not every day you turn sixteen.”
Vince grinned until his face hurt. If he was ever ready to fall in love forever, he hoped it was with Howard. Howard was genius.
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Bob Fossil making homophobic comments in English AND English
Summary: The first time Howard breaks Vince’s heart.
Author’s note: Maybe two years ago, Bluey mentioned the idea of a Boosh fic based on Ben Folds Five “Thank You for Breaking My Heart” and then bythepoweroftopshop broke imashambles heart with this and the booshlrs went crazy and unusual-ly wants a sad fic and I’m having trouble with Bent and this just happened.
Howard put his hand over Vince’s face. He was only aiming for the mouth, but Vince’s face was smallish and Howard had big hands. It wasn’t a graceful gesture, but it effectively blocked the near kiss.
“Little Man, I think you need to slow down and think this through. I know you see me as a dashing man of the world…” Vince’s quizzical look made Howard change tactics. “You’re fifteen, Vince. I’m nineteen. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Age is just a number,” Vince shot back with a cocky smirk. Vince thought he had it all figured out. Howard wondered if he’d ever been so young.
“Yes,” Howard agreed, “a number indicating how many years you have been alive and therefore a reasonable measure of your maturity.”
“But I’ll be sixteen in three months!” Vince cried. His eyes were so wide and sad; Howard found it hard to stand his ground. He still hadn’t had a proper kiss and Vince was attractive in certain lights. He was skinny and pointy and his hair was a red streaked mullet, but his eyes were the prettiest eyes Howard had ever seen. They were all different shades of blue, green and gray and seemed to change every day.
“Yes, and I’ll still be nineteen.”
Vince began flapping his arms. Howard knew the squawking would soon follow. He switched gears yet again before Vince actually transformed into a bird.
“I’m a serious man, Vince. A poet, a dreamer, a man of deep feelings. I’m looking for a helpmeet, someone with who to share my life’s journey. Are you ready for that? Are you ready to make a commitment for the rest of your life?”
Howard was rather proud of the speech. Maybe grand speeches could be his thing. The mustache wasn’t giving him quite the authority he’d hoped for.
Vince looked at his hot pink cowboy boots and shuffled for a moment before he looked Howard dead in the eye and said, “Yes.”
Part of Howard wanted to believe it. He barely knew the young man in front of him, and he wasn’t entirely sure he liked him, but Howard liked the idea of someone being in love with him. If Vince really loved him, it could only be a matter of time before Howard fell in love with Vince in return. At the very least, he would love Vince for loving him and that would be close enough.
“We’ll talk in three months,” Howard said gently while resting a hand on Vince’s skinny shoulder. They shared a lovely moment before Fossil’s voice came screaming through the tannoy system.
“Howard Moon, get your ugly, scrawny, faggy… Wait a second. Let me get my English to English dictionary… Sorry… Get your ugly, scrawny, poofy ass to my office pronto! That’s English for now!”
Xxx
Vince had spent hours gluing gems to his pink cowboy boots. They were finally looking the way he wanted, but they were also starting to fall apart at the seams. He was going to have to start buying better quality footwear. He hated how expensive everything was. Being an adult was hard.
“Did you want to talk about your boots?” Howard asked with poorly concealed irritation.
Vince gave a guilty start. He felt awful and he couldn’t look Howard in the eye.
“Remember what we talked about a few months ago?” Vince’s voice cracked on every other word.
Howard smirked. The older boy clearly knew what Vince was about to say and it was awful. Vince really fancied his supervisor and he hated to disappoint him.
“I really like you and all…”
“But?”
“I guess I’m not really ready to settle down.”
Vince stared at his boots and waited for Howard to mock him for being fickle and childish, but instead, Howard placed one of his big, warm hands on Vince’s shoulder.
“Let’s go to that chippy shop you like,” Howard offered. “On me. If you go a whole meal without embarrassing me, I might even buy you ice cream. It’s not every day you turn sixteen.”
Vince grinned until his face hurt. If he was ever ready to fall in love forever, he hoped it was with Howard. Howard was genius.