Bent Part 9
Title: Bent
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: graphic sex, angst, minor self-harm, mentions of homophobia
Summary: Despite all odds, Howard finally feels at ease.
Howard stared at the ceiling of the tent and tried to come to grips with what had just happened. He’d been told all his life that he overly romanticized sex, yet it had been even more intense and passionate than he’d expected. It wasn’t flowers and romance, but it was something to be remembered. Vince had been on edge, but he’d also been tender and thoughtful. It hadn’t been a thing like his fantasies, but in many ways, it had been better. As passive as he tried to be, Vince seemed to pick up on his every thought. When he thought about sex, especially sex with Vince, he tended to focus on what he could do to please or fail his partner. He thought of sex a stress-inducing performance, one that he would view from a distance even as it was happening. Instead, he’d been as locked in the moment as he was capable of being.
“That was, well…” Howard had no idea what to say. Vince was still shaking and he hadn’t said a word. “I mean to say… You know those windmills in Amsterdam?”
Vince raised his head, “Do you actually have a story about windmills or are you just doing your pompous bit?”
“Can’t it be both?” Howard asked with a feeble smile.
Vince kissed Howard’s neck.
“We don’t have to talk about it. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I wanted it to be good for you. Sorry I’ve been such a tit, and that I’m going to keep being one until we find that river thing,” as Vince spoke, he began to run his hands over Howard’s still naked body. Every nerve ending was hypersensitive and Howard was nearly jumping out of his skin. He felt newly aware of his body, like he was going through a second puberty (but without the humiliation). His skin tingled where Vince kissed him.
“Do you think…?” Howard trailed off, unsure of how to put his thoughts into words. When they found the River of Reflection, everything would be different. Vince stared at him for a disturbing amount of time before lowering his head to kiss Howard’s nipple. Howard tried to remain still, but he twitched at the sensation on his strangely sensitive skin.
Vince chuckled, “You are insatiable, Howard. Who would have guessed?”
Howard wondered why people wouldn’t think he was insatiable and if it was a bad thing.
“I don’t think that’s going to go away with the magic,” Howard said, with a weak laugh. He tried to keep his tone joking, but he felt incredibly vulnerable. “The beast has been awakened.”
Vince glared at Howard until Howard was forced to avert his eyes.
“Whatever,” Vince mumbled. “We’ll make it work.”
“What does that mean?” Howard asked. He knew the question would irritate Vince, but he had so many questions.
Vince shrugged. “When we go back to normal, it’ll be different. You’re gonna wanna top me and that’s fine. It doesn’t matter.”
Vince seemed to be trying hard not to look angry.
“If you didn’t notice,…” Howard stopped himself from calling Vince ‘Little Man’. Suddenly, the nickname seemed patronizing rather than affectionate. “Vince, I am pretty sold on what we just did. You made a hell of a pitch and I have no complaints.”
Vince smirked, “When I’m back to being the confuser…”
“The what?”
“The confuser. Is it a man? Is it a woman? Do I care? Mmm… I don’t think I do.”
Howard smiled at Vince’s dramatic reenactment of what must have been a common occurrence in his life, but he heard the sadness under the joke.
“Just because you look like a girlier Joan Jett doesn’t mean I think of you as a woman,” Howard explained. “I am very much in favor of your secondary sex characteristics, sir.”
Vince frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but when you’re a man, you’re gonna wanna be a man with me.”
Howard pondered the words as Vince returned to licking and teasing his nipples. He completely understood what Vince was saying, but at the same time, it sounded ridiculous.
“I might feel a little… embarrassed… about… why is this so hard to talk about? I won’t stop liking this just because I’m back to worrying about being manly,” Howard did his best to speak coherently as Vince kissed his chest. “I’ll still want to bottom for you, I just might not be able to say it.”
Vince looked more curious than angry.
“You’ll be embarrassed you liked it, right?”
Howard flushed at the truth in the statement, but felt compelled to try and explain it to Vince.
“I’m not comfortable with a lot of things about myself and I let it get in my way. I don’t want to miss out on something with you because I’m still trying to keep my dad from calling me a poof in front of his friends.”
Vince frowned and touched the side of Howard’s face. It was a tender gesture that inexplicably made Howard want to cry.
“I can’t imagine anyone calling you a poof. There has never been a gay man with your awful dress sense.”
Howard smiled, but his chest tightened. It had been a long time since anyone had sincerely questioned his sexuality. He was too scruffy, too unstylish and far too boring to be gay. It was what he’d always wanted until he met Vince and started to think maybe being a bender wasn’t so bad after all.
“I liked music and theater and poetry. I cried a lot. I never learned how to fight…” Howard faltered under the intensity of Vince’s stare. “I wasn’t the son he wanted and I thought that if I could be more of a man, he’d be proud of me. Still hoping, I suppose.”
Howard was going to say more about his failure to be a man, but then Vince slipped two fingers inside his arse and he was happy to let the topic drop.
“You’re dad’s an idiot,” Vince murmured as he stroked Howard from the inside. Howard started getting hard. It couldn’t have been twenty minutes since his last orgasm.
“You’re very manly,” Vince continued in a husky tone. “You’re tall and broad and you have those big hands and a big cock and your voice is deep and sexy.”
Howard was tempted to touch himself while Vince spoke, but he was too embarrassed. If Vince laughed at him, he’d have to crawl into a cave and die.
“I never thought I could touch you, and now I can’t stop,” Vince said as he began stroking his own cock.
“Why?” Howard asked. “Why did you think you couldn’t touch me?”
Vince rolled his eyes and huffed, “Because you said ‘don’t touch me’ every time I got close, for one.”
Howard blushed as he thought of all the times Vince casually ran a hand over his chest or stomach, carelessly initiating the kind of physical intimacy that Howard had never before experienced when they were supposed to be shoveling dung out of the monkey cage or helping Fossil squeeze into his safari suit.
“I’m sorry.” Howard wanted to explain his insecurities and how confused he’d been by Vince’s easy intimacy, and how his own responses to Vince scared him, but there was no way he could speak without crying or saying something utterly foolish. He couldn’t trust himself to speak.
Vince climbed on top of Howard and kissed him as he continued to stroke the spot deep inside Howard that made his legs jump and his eyes roll into the back of his head.
“We should just stay like this,” Vince suggested between kisses. “It’s easier like this.”
“Do you like it better this way?” Howard asked, already imagining a life of a million emotions and Vince flying off the handle with no provocation. “Are you happier like this?”
Vince paused for a moment and looked Howard in the eye.
“Actually, I kind of hate it,” he admitted with obvious reluctance. “It’s just easy, you know? I know what to do. You let me do it.”
“I’ll still let you do whatever you like,” Howard promised. He had no doubts on that front.
Vince gave him a dubious look, but then he reached for a johnny and Howard did his best to stop thinking. It was easier to relax the second time. Vince started out slow and careful, but then a sly smile spread across his face. Howard was torn between being proud and embarrassed that he was so much easier to enter the second time around. Part of him felt like he should have at least pretended to be uncomfortable, but when Vince began thrusting hard and fast, there was no more room for pretense. Howard wrapped his legs around Vince and held him close.
“Touch your cock,” Vince said in a tone that wasn’t quite an order, but definitely a firm request. Howard awkwardly stroked himself, but faltered when Vince stopped moving and stared.
“Don’t stop. I like it. It’s hot,” Vince encouraged. There was a hint of his usual impishness in his eyes that gave Howard the nerve to keep going. Under as the brittle anger, Vince was still Vince. “I like you,” Vince added as began moving his cock in and out of Howard at a frustratingly slow pace.
Howard closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sensation of Vince and block out all the thoughts buzzing in his head about future consequences. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to get himself off or if he was supposed to wait, but when Vince whispered, “You’re so fucking hot,” in his ear, it was a moot point. Howard felt shaky and exhausted as Vince rode him, but he also felt oddly comfortable. Possibly for the first time in his life, Howard felt like he knew what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to hold Vince and whisper variations of, “I love you,” until Vince came. And afterwards, when Vince inexplicably started punching himself in the leg, Howard held him tight and promised everything would be all right. He even believed it.
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Howard/Vince
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: graphic sex, angst, minor self-harm, mentions of homophobia
Summary: Despite all odds, Howard finally feels at ease.
Howard stared at the ceiling of the tent and tried to come to grips with what had just happened. He’d been told all his life that he overly romanticized sex, yet it had been even more intense and passionate than he’d expected. It wasn’t flowers and romance, but it was something to be remembered. Vince had been on edge, but he’d also been tender and thoughtful. It hadn’t been a thing like his fantasies, but in many ways, it had been better. As passive as he tried to be, Vince seemed to pick up on his every thought. When he thought about sex, especially sex with Vince, he tended to focus on what he could do to please or fail his partner. He thought of sex a stress-inducing performance, one that he would view from a distance even as it was happening. Instead, he’d been as locked in the moment as he was capable of being.
“That was, well…” Howard had no idea what to say. Vince was still shaking and he hadn’t said a word. “I mean to say… You know those windmills in Amsterdam?”
Vince raised his head, “Do you actually have a story about windmills or are you just doing your pompous bit?”
“Can’t it be both?” Howard asked with a feeble smile.
Vince kissed Howard’s neck.
“We don’t have to talk about it. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I wanted it to be good for you. Sorry I’ve been such a tit, and that I’m going to keep being one until we find that river thing,” as Vince spoke, he began to run his hands over Howard’s still naked body. Every nerve ending was hypersensitive and Howard was nearly jumping out of his skin. He felt newly aware of his body, like he was going through a second puberty (but without the humiliation). His skin tingled where Vince kissed him.
“Do you think…?” Howard trailed off, unsure of how to put his thoughts into words. When they found the River of Reflection, everything would be different. Vince stared at him for a disturbing amount of time before lowering his head to kiss Howard’s nipple. Howard tried to remain still, but he twitched at the sensation on his strangely sensitive skin.
Vince chuckled, “You are insatiable, Howard. Who would have guessed?”
Howard wondered why people wouldn’t think he was insatiable and if it was a bad thing.
“I don’t think that’s going to go away with the magic,” Howard said, with a weak laugh. He tried to keep his tone joking, but he felt incredibly vulnerable. “The beast has been awakened.”
Vince glared at Howard until Howard was forced to avert his eyes.
“Whatever,” Vince mumbled. “We’ll make it work.”
“What does that mean?” Howard asked. He knew the question would irritate Vince, but he had so many questions.
Vince shrugged. “When we go back to normal, it’ll be different. You’re gonna wanna top me and that’s fine. It doesn’t matter.”
Vince seemed to be trying hard not to look angry.
“If you didn’t notice,…” Howard stopped himself from calling Vince ‘Little Man’. Suddenly, the nickname seemed patronizing rather than affectionate. “Vince, I am pretty sold on what we just did. You made a hell of a pitch and I have no complaints.”
Vince smirked, “When I’m back to being the confuser…”
“The what?”
“The confuser. Is it a man? Is it a woman? Do I care? Mmm… I don’t think I do.”
Howard smiled at Vince’s dramatic reenactment of what must have been a common occurrence in his life, but he heard the sadness under the joke.
“Just because you look like a girlier Joan Jett doesn’t mean I think of you as a woman,” Howard explained. “I am very much in favor of your secondary sex characteristics, sir.”
Vince frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but when you’re a man, you’re gonna wanna be a man with me.”
Howard pondered the words as Vince returned to licking and teasing his nipples. He completely understood what Vince was saying, but at the same time, it sounded ridiculous.
“I might feel a little… embarrassed… about… why is this so hard to talk about? I won’t stop liking this just because I’m back to worrying about being manly,” Howard did his best to speak coherently as Vince kissed his chest. “I’ll still want to bottom for you, I just might not be able to say it.”
Vince looked more curious than angry.
“You’ll be embarrassed you liked it, right?”
Howard flushed at the truth in the statement, but felt compelled to try and explain it to Vince.
“I’m not comfortable with a lot of things about myself and I let it get in my way. I don’t want to miss out on something with you because I’m still trying to keep my dad from calling me a poof in front of his friends.”
Vince frowned and touched the side of Howard’s face. It was a tender gesture that inexplicably made Howard want to cry.
“I can’t imagine anyone calling you a poof. There has never been a gay man with your awful dress sense.”
Howard smiled, but his chest tightened. It had been a long time since anyone had sincerely questioned his sexuality. He was too scruffy, too unstylish and far too boring to be gay. It was what he’d always wanted until he met Vince and started to think maybe being a bender wasn’t so bad after all.
“I liked music and theater and poetry. I cried a lot. I never learned how to fight…” Howard faltered under the intensity of Vince’s stare. “I wasn’t the son he wanted and I thought that if I could be more of a man, he’d be proud of me. Still hoping, I suppose.”
Howard was going to say more about his failure to be a man, but then Vince slipped two fingers inside his arse and he was happy to let the topic drop.
“You’re dad’s an idiot,” Vince murmured as he stroked Howard from the inside. Howard started getting hard. It couldn’t have been twenty minutes since his last orgasm.
“You’re very manly,” Vince continued in a husky tone. “You’re tall and broad and you have those big hands and a big cock and your voice is deep and sexy.”
Howard was tempted to touch himself while Vince spoke, but he was too embarrassed. If Vince laughed at him, he’d have to crawl into a cave and die.
“I never thought I could touch you, and now I can’t stop,” Vince said as he began stroking his own cock.
“Why?” Howard asked. “Why did you think you couldn’t touch me?”
Vince rolled his eyes and huffed, “Because you said ‘don’t touch me’ every time I got close, for one.”
Howard blushed as he thought of all the times Vince casually ran a hand over his chest or stomach, carelessly initiating the kind of physical intimacy that Howard had never before experienced when they were supposed to be shoveling dung out of the monkey cage or helping Fossil squeeze into his safari suit.
“I’m sorry.” Howard wanted to explain his insecurities and how confused he’d been by Vince’s easy intimacy, and how his own responses to Vince scared him, but there was no way he could speak without crying or saying something utterly foolish. He couldn’t trust himself to speak.
Vince climbed on top of Howard and kissed him as he continued to stroke the spot deep inside Howard that made his legs jump and his eyes roll into the back of his head.
“We should just stay like this,” Vince suggested between kisses. “It’s easier like this.”
“Do you like it better this way?” Howard asked, already imagining a life of a million emotions and Vince flying off the handle with no provocation. “Are you happier like this?”
Vince paused for a moment and looked Howard in the eye.
“Actually, I kind of hate it,” he admitted with obvious reluctance. “It’s just easy, you know? I know what to do. You let me do it.”
“I’ll still let you do whatever you like,” Howard promised. He had no doubts on that front.
Vince gave him a dubious look, but then he reached for a johnny and Howard did his best to stop thinking. It was easier to relax the second time. Vince started out slow and careful, but then a sly smile spread across his face. Howard was torn between being proud and embarrassed that he was so much easier to enter the second time around. Part of him felt like he should have at least pretended to be uncomfortable, but when Vince began thrusting hard and fast, there was no more room for pretense. Howard wrapped his legs around Vince and held him close.
“Touch your cock,” Vince said in a tone that wasn’t quite an order, but definitely a firm request. Howard awkwardly stroked himself, but faltered when Vince stopped moving and stared.
“Don’t stop. I like it. It’s hot,” Vince encouraged. There was a hint of his usual impishness in his eyes that gave Howard the nerve to keep going. Under as the brittle anger, Vince was still Vince. “I like you,” Vince added as began moving his cock in and out of Howard at a frustratingly slow pace.
Howard closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sensation of Vince and block out all the thoughts buzzing in his head about future consequences. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to get himself off or if he was supposed to wait, but when Vince whispered, “You’re so fucking hot,” in his ear, it was a moot point. Howard felt shaky and exhausted as Vince rode him, but he also felt oddly comfortable. Possibly for the first time in his life, Howard felt like he knew what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to hold Vince and whisper variations of, “I love you,” until Vince came. And afterwards, when Vince inexplicably started punching himself in the leg, Howard held him tight and promised everything would be all right. He even believed it.