Understanding Understanding....who really understands anything?
I'm feeling kind of lonely and ignored...I should be talking to someone at this moment but, since no one is here or willing to talk to me, I am talking to myself on this blessing called a livejournal. pshh...
Im slightly disapointed right now, I just found out that my dad as arranged my marriage to an elderly man with African residence , I will be leaving promptly. PS he's also my first cousin, we like to keep it in the family. Also, my dad lies to me a lot... my last name is of no importance I've recently learned. Yes this is one of "those" entries, the ones where you rant and talk about how sucked up your life is.
Sometimes I wonder if people say things to intentionally hurt my feelings, even small things eat at me...like sometimes my mom talks about how fat I am compared to how much she weighed when she was my age... I hate being compared to other people... yeh I know I suck, and yeh I'll never make something great out of my life..but at least you can let me pretend I will until that rude awakening comes. This brings me into my next topic of discussion..goals/dreams....Oh wait I dont have any, other than the average female fantasies of being beautiful and wanted, I have no hobbies and no career choices in mind. So I have basically failed before I have begun, will someone give me some direction? Aww my positive-ness is so uplifting. FUCK OFF. That felt extremely good to type that obscenity and not direct at anyone but this fake notebook. Im so lost. Why am I cursing at the computer screen, thats kind of abnormal.
Today I was driving to the book store with the smaller more youthful version of myself, meaning my little sister, when I saw, from some great distance what appeared to be some sort of gang dressed in dark clothing..following what seemed to have been their leader, who seem to have acquired a pimp walk as well as a legacy... but on approaching these street thugs from a closer distance, I realized it was just a man with a handicap and a badass limp and his followers were just a possy of "helping-him-not-bust-his-ass-er's"...At least they were less likely to be carrying around bazookas or some leathal weapon.
At the bookstore... I purchased a book today written by the owner of my body (Anthony Kiedis), I actually think I may leave soon so I can go touch myself while reading it...yeh touch myself. Bad idea. Hmm so nothing else eventful happened..so thats it. byebye
Yours truly,
Gangsta C to the Arolyn
Im slightly disapointed right now, I just found out that my dad as arranged my marriage to an elderly man with African residence , I will be leaving promptly. PS he's also my first cousin, we like to keep it in the family. Also, my dad lies to me a lot... my last name is of no importance I've recently learned. Yes this is one of "those" entries, the ones where you rant and talk about how sucked up your life is.
Sometimes I wonder if people say things to intentionally hurt my feelings, even small things eat at me...like sometimes my mom talks about how fat I am compared to how much she weighed when she was my age... I hate being compared to other people... yeh I know I suck, and yeh I'll never make something great out of my life..but at least you can let me pretend I will until that rude awakening comes. This brings me into my next topic of discussion..goals/dreams....Oh wait I dont have any, other than the average female fantasies of being beautiful and wanted, I have no hobbies and no career choices in mind. So I have basically failed before I have begun, will someone give me some direction? Aww my positive-ness is so uplifting. FUCK OFF. That felt extremely good to type that obscenity and not direct at anyone but this fake notebook. Im so lost. Why am I cursing at the computer screen, thats kind of abnormal.
Today I was driving to the book store with the smaller more youthful version of myself, meaning my little sister, when I saw, from some great distance what appeared to be some sort of gang dressed in dark clothing..following what seemed to have been their leader, who seem to have acquired a pimp walk as well as a legacy... but on approaching these street thugs from a closer distance, I realized it was just a man with a handicap and a badass limp and his followers were just a possy of "helping-him-not-bust-his-ass-er's"...At least they were less likely to be carrying around bazookas or some leathal weapon.
At the bookstore... I purchased a book today written by the owner of my body (Anthony Kiedis), I actually think I may leave soon so I can go touch myself while reading it...yeh touch myself. Bad idea. Hmm so nothing else eventful happened..so thats it. byebye
Yours truly,
Gangsta C to the Arolyn