Wistful thinking
I was walking home from the co-op market last night with Max, taking the path through the park/playground. Lots of people out, parents with kids, skate punks, innumerable dogs, couple of 20-something guys playing basketball. One of the guys had his shirt off, and he had a really nice body--well-defined but not overly muscular. And the words just hit me: "This is now denied to me." Not just this particular guy, but young guys in general--I will never have one again, never have one be topless for me. I've known this on a subconscious level for quite some time but it wasn't something I thought about till last night. It made me sad.